Friday, February 17, 2012

Life has been seriously kicking ass for the past year. Gooo life!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Sometime I wish I pooped out coins and jewels. Not the singer Jewel, that would hurt. I'm talking about shiny expensive jewels like rubies and diamonds. Those would probably hurt a bit too.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Didn't post here for a while since I've been having a few problems with my blog. Well, more like Google has a problem with my blog, as my Adsense account didn't get approved. Turns out that you shouldn't change your blog URL while you're waiting for them to approve your Adsense account. So I fuck that up, then instead of re-submitting the Adsense application I filled out an appeal form and waited for a response. Turns out I wasn't getting any response because my account didn't exist in the first place. I done goofed up!

I'm new to this whole ad revenue thing, but I figure I better figure it out. A bit of extra income to put more food (and booze) in my belly would be quite swell.

In other news, life is good. School is easier than a surrey girl (yes this site is called Slurrey, we do make surrey girl jokes). I'm going to the gym on a semi-regular basis now, eating healthier, and I've quit coke. The soft drink, dipshit. I'm also trying to eat as much as physically possible without getting fat, but it's a tricky process. My metabolism is like a kid who just got his license and a Ferrari. Pedal pushed through the floor burning 8395482 calories typing this post, which really sucks because to gain any lean mass I have to eat the equivalent of Ethiopia's entire food supply... which is like 8 meals a day. How to keep unhealthy food out of those meals is tricky, cause healthy food is way more goddamn expensive.

Today it snew for a grand total of 10 minutes. Typical Vancouver cock-tease weather. Come on, where's the worst winter in 50 years, Farmer's Almanac? I'd wipe my ass with that thing if the pages weren't so glossy and ineffective. Got a taste of driving my truck in the snow with that last snowfall, but I crave more.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

So I log into facebook today to do whatever the fuck I do on facebook, and I notice that my profile page looks like a scattered mess of links and failure. For a while now, facebook has been trying to get me to "upgrade" my profile, but I always had the option not to. A good choice, as I enjoyed having an easy to navigate, coherent profile with tabs separating each section.

The illusion of choice didn't last long and it looks like facebook has decided to force the new profile on me anyways. Thanks facebook. Thanks Mark Fuckerburg, you really know what your users want. Douchenozzle.

Since 2007 I've watched layout updates slowly devolve the look and feel of the site, removing features, and fucking up personal privacy in more ways than thought possible. Dear lord I could shit a better layout on a piece of toilet paper!

(A typical day at Facebook HQ)

No joke, this is part of the reason I'm bringing Slurrey back, slowly but surely. The way Facebook is going, in a couple of years it'll look like a website from 1995. Unless we revolt, and fling feces at their servers or something.

Monday, January 17, 2011

So it's 2011 now, and as you can see I have not touched this fucking thing since January 2010. I've been too busy touching other things.

I don't have any hosting for slurrey.com right now, as you need money for that and most of my money is being spent keeping me fed and non-sober. A lifestyle where you do stuff like drive, eat, and avoid homelessness in vancouver is pretty expensive. Yeah, I moved from Surrey to Vancouver a year ago. Some would consider it an upgrade, but sometimes I miss my days of tire fire parties and shopping cart jousting.

(This shopping cart was defective)

I'm actually going to try and update this thing as often as an average human's bowel movements. Why I don't refer to my own.... well let's just say that the quality of my diet is inversely proportional to the money I have to spend on food.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Hey, it's 2010! My new years resolution is to finally do something with this fucking site.
I'll let you know how that goes.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I just jad PRK Laser Eye surgery, and I will be updating this post regularly over the next few days as my eyes heal up.

Day 1:
3 PM:
This is when I got it done. Will actually write about it later, as my vision it blurry as fuck right now. A really blurrey fuck. Like a Bigfoot sex tape.

4 PM:
Getting a ride home, no pain at all, my eyes are so watery that I look like an emo kid who couldn't afford the latest My Chemical Romance CD. I have awesome distance vision but really shitty near vision. I can barely see what I'm typing. Eyes are starting to get a little sensetive to light.

4:30 PM:
Put some lubricating eyedrops in my eyes, gotta keep stuff lubed up. They're starting to sting a little, I think it's time for some shuteye. At 6 PM I take a whole new set of drops.

I turned down the brightness and contrast all the way down on my computer monitors cause they are starting to hurt my face.

5:30 PM
Had a nap. Hard to sleep with some type of verbal apocalypse ocurring outside my room. Eyes still teary like the lead singer of Simple Plan. More sensetive to light, but still only slightly stinging. Every blink feels gross.

6 PM:
Put the 2 hour and 4 hour drops in. The 4 hour ones sting... good thing they're only every 4 hours! Aghk. Eyes are starting to feel dryer than a nun's pussy. From reading other PRK experiences on here this seems a bit early. EWWW I can taste the eyedrops in my mouth, through my eye! Lol what the fuck?

7 PM:
Another nap, then woke up and put more lube eyedrops in. Ran into somewhat of an emergency. There was a fucking eyelash in my eye, stuck next to the contact lens they put in. It felt like my eyeball had a needle sticking out of it. I had to use the tip of my finger to nudge it out, while looking in the mirror with a bright light next to me. It was some ER type shit I was doing.

Everytime I go on here to update it seemd the screen is more and more of a pain to look at.

8:30 PM
Just wooke up from like my 439089234th nap, eyes still feel the same. Sweet! Now I'm just hungry as fuck, so I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat. I'm looking forward to some fresh air as my eyes feel kinda hot right now.

By the way, a miraculous thing has occurred, I've actually been remembering to take all my eyedrops when I'm supposed to!! Eyes, I don't fuck around with them.

DAY 2:

1:30 AM
Went out with Cherie for a bit, got food, went for a drive. Been keeping my eyes closed whenever I can, it's less irritating that way. Still remembering to put the drops in too. No extra pain, but a bit more blurry. Off to bed, will update in morning if I can still see.

6:30 AM
Woke up with super dry and scratchy eyes, it was so bloody hard to put the eyedrops in cause I couldn't stop squinting! Eventually I got them in and went back to sleep.

11:30 AM
Woke up, eyes feeling great! Can't see worth a damn though.

1:30 PM
No pain at all, Cherie drove me to get my follow up, they said I was healing super fast, but tonight might still be really painful. I haven't used the numbing drops at all yet. He put some in though and my eyes felt fucking awesome.

2:30 PM
Back at Cherie's house everything started looking crystal clear, even close-up stuff wasn't too bad for a while.

5:30 PM
Ended up downtown on the beach for a while with Valyce, Cherie, Mark and Pearce. Beach isn't as fun when you can't face the sun and have to cover up your eyes with clothing. My face is prolly the only thing that isn't tanned.

6:30 PM
On the drive home my eyes are starting to hurt. The drops don't help. Nooooooo

8:30 PM
We've dropped everyone off, and stop at Shopper's to get more Refresh Tears. Jesus Christ they are expensive!!! I'm in quite a bit of pain at this point. CHerie drops me off at home and I have a nap.

10 PM
I wake up to eat, my eyes feeling fine. In the middle of eating (I can barely see my food,,, frustrating) my eyes start killing me. It feels like they're too big for my goddamn sockets. So I decide to take a T3, have a Valium, and go to bed. I couldn't fall asleep right away for I gave in and used the numbing drops. THEY ARE AMAZING!!!!

DAY 3
8 AM
I wake up, my eyes are feeling AWESOME. I put my drops in and am going back to bed. (After updating this for yesterday)

4:30 PM
Been sleeping most of the day, Eric's gonna be here soon for The Slurrey Show. My vision is really really blurry. A weird kinda blurry. Everything is sharp, except there's like 10 of it, in a circle.

11:30 PM
Driving around with Cherie at night. Traffic lights all look like bubbles. I can barely friggin see! Besides that, no pain or discomfort in my eyes whatsoever. I'm light sensetive though so I still have to wear my sunglasses at night. (insert yet another lame Corey Hart joke here)

DAY 4:
8:30 AM
Woke up and everything is STILL blurry. Durrrr? Still light sensetive too, but it's no problem with shades on, even in the daylight. I have to wear these things everywhere! Durrrr. I got my 72 hour follow-up appointment at 2:20, they're taking out the protective contacts today! YAY

72 hour follow up appointment:
They told me that the blurriness was normal and my eyes are healing pretty awesomely. They took out the contacts and my eyes already felt WAY better. My vision was still fucked up though.

FINAL UPDATE:

Well here I am updating this post like... 7 or 8 months later. Basically after the last update, my vision was so shitty that typing shit up on the computer was damn near impossible. And my eyes were so sensitive to light that I just said 'fuck it'. It took a few days for my vision to get good enough to be on the computer, but only long enough to check facebook and email quickly and then fuck off. Don't know why my eyes took a while to get better, but now they're damn near 100% and I'm quite happy! Fuck glasses.

Might update this post again, a full year after I had the surgery, to let you guys know if I actually reach 20/20 vision.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

If you jizz in space, will your jizz be propelled endlessly across the universe? Unless it gets caught up in a planet's gravity or a black hole (not your mom's)? Will the cold temperatures of space preserve your jizz, enabling any aliens who find it to create a new human race? Or will they eat it as a snack?

Will they like the taste of jizz so much that they will trace its trajectory back to earth? Will they take over the planet and harvest endless amounts of jizz? How will they harvest jizz? Will they use alien-created milking machines or will they just suck everyone's dick?

Sunday, September 07, 2008

SLURREY IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
SLOW, SLOW CONSTRUCTION.

Been to busy these days to make the huge, epic changes to this site I've wanted to make. But rest assured, the wait will be worth it.

PS The Slurrey Slerver is dead. RIP Slerver, you were a piece of shit but you did your job. Kinda.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

So I went and saw THE DARK KNIGHT the other night, a movie I've been looking forward to seeing for YEARS!

So what did I think about it?

I'd say it'd be pretty fucking amazing.... IF I HAD SEEN THE LAST 10 GODDAMN MINUTES OF IT!!! As the movie was almost ending, the power in the movie theatre went out.

What followed next was a plethora of "what the fucks" and "you gotta be shitting me's" from the jam-packed theatre.... it was true bullshit! What could potentially be my favorite movie EVER got buttraped by a blown fuse or whatever the fuck caused the power to go out in that ONE building.

That's ok, we're gonna go see it in IMAX. Which hopefully won't suffer a power outage causing me to miss the last 5 minutes of the movie. Assholes!