Friday, March 30, 2001
Thursday, March 29, 2001
His Excellency the PRESIDENT hereby authorizes me to propose the following motions to be voted on as of this date.
1. To offcially create the site slogan as:
"Slurrey.com a truly CanadE/N place where the bros meet the hoes"
2. Members who have been absent from activity on the website for more than two (2) weeks are subeject to immediate removal by the President if he so desires.
3. To extend the Vice President's term of office from six months to one year (retroactively). And to fix the dates for the Vice Presidential election from February 7th-14th every year (unless a resignation occurs), and to have the Vice President sworn in as of the first Friday following his election. In case of resignation an immediate (4 day) election will be held to see who serves out the remainder of the term.
[The current Vice Presidential term will expire August 17th, 2001 (the first friday after the election is over) as per the current rule if this motion is not passed]
The following members are eligible to vote:
To vote send your vote via e-mail to email@example.com
write the # and how you vote (or if you abstain) on that particular motion.
Submissions must be received by me at Midnight April 04, 2001. The results will be released after that.
Vice President M.C. Rae
Wednesday, March 28, 2001
Now I also added Disco Stu 72 to the staff page, and even made a section in there for past members of the staff. *Meow Mix* is officially dead, we're sorry to see her go but she gave her life so this site could survive. Well whatever at least she tasted good.
I have to go. There is a point where I'm so tired that my brain starts ceasing to function, and i have now reached it. MiKE has left the building.
Never have I ever been given an opportunity to work with such a great staff, really... I have never been given an opportunity to work with any staff whatsoever.
So thank you slurrey for raising me the way you did, ahhhhhhhhhhhh... f*ck. Anyways, I had a rather interesting day, found out i need somebody to carpool with to vancouver, had the grand and surprising opportunity to watch somebody do shrooms and pick his bloody nose in a McDonalds washroom and THEN he asked me for money, cripes! Then had to detour from frigg'n broadway to 29th on bus then wait another 30 damn minutes at skytrain before we finally left, I tink there was a big accident at broadway, i saw 2 ambulances and 2 firetrucks at the time. What a bloody interesting night.
Rick Griffiths you are an ASSHOLE, take a long walk off the short plank (into shark infested waters)
Assistant Coach (ASS COACH) you are about as attractive as a pile of conjealed goat meat and smell as bad too
The entire Surrey Bantam Flyers can kiss my ass, yes I intentionally tried to fix that game, and it's a shame that it didn't work well!
Tuesday, March 27, 2001
Survivor is back in its regular thursday timeslot again. Can't wait to see Jerriwhore kicked off the island. Well, she'll either be kicked off or beaten to death with large flaming sticks in this episode since no one can fucking stand her. And the video of her and Colby humping in the bushes like mentally underdeveloped monkeys should hit the internet soon. Question is, anyone who wants to see Jerri in any act involving reproduction probably hates the human race, cause if her gene pool continues we're all fucking doomed. Actually, I think Jerri brutally raped Colby cause no creature on earth would want to get too close to her stinky black hole (it's so massive that its gravity field sucks even light in, but still manages to let the scent of dead fish waft out). Fucking bitch.
There are also rumors of Bill Gates getting hit in the head with a big rubber penis. No word yet on whether he enjoyed it.
Monday, March 26, 2001
In Slurrey (website) News:
(this part will be taken over by Skeef once he is removed from the family dog's butt)
- The video page is almost complete (no we will not have any midget scat porn)
- Staff members who are not posting enough will be given a warning. Staff members who have not posted for weeks will be considered dead and will be buried in MiKE's back yard.
- Skeef is considering surgery to improve his looks. After all, a talking sock penis needs a face.
- This site's hits have tripled in the last 2 weeks. And no it's not from MiKE hitting the reload button on his browser every five seconds. We're talkin UNIQUE hits.
- There seem to be 2 electric nipple-stimulation plugs coming out of MiKE's computer. MiKE maintains that these plugs are MIDI cables. Nice try there.
"Huh huh huh nuclear aftermath huh huh.."
Really. True story!
Sunday, March 25, 2001
So now the question it, what do I do with my 200 year old wooden beast TV? Well other than the obvious solution of EATING IT, I've decided to sell it for a mere $50 cdn. That's right, 26 inch TV that's 20 years old, but still has a pretty damn good picture quality. Well... the best you can get from an RF input. So you interested in buying it, post on the fucking dicussion board.
The Misadventures of Slurrey Staff Part 8
By Skeef the Sock Penis
It was a dark and boring night. Kink Calb was looking for some any liquid substance to give him a buzz. He found it. Meanwhile, M.C Rae was chillin at the local hoe stop having
a beverage to keep himself awake through the shitty night. MiKE arrives at the hoe stop, highly intoxicated after eating some more newspapers and beer bottles. Chadlei realizes how fucking sober he is and makes the suggestion that we crash a party full of 16 year olds.
"But Chadlei, the most intoxicating drink there would be a five alive!"
Chadlei: "Let's go!!!"
So off we head to the party. On the way there, Eric Andersen comes running out from a bush and jumps onto the van. After looking for any house showing signs of a party (basically with lights on), we saw two people standing outside in the driveway, smoking monkey crack imported from Brazil. Looks like we had arrived at the destination. Chad had to turn around to park properly (cause he was anti-parking-backwards). When we got there again, there was a massive crowd of girls outside awaiting our arrival. The party has now started.
So we go in, and the host of this party seems happy of our presence, and so does her extremely drunk peer on the right. Chadlei sniffs
out the place for some mary-juana, and it appears that he is successful. Later on, some people started smoking some marijuana, but the quality of it was so bad that someone said:
"Hey it smells like you're smoking a chicken bone over there."
"Man what'd you pay for that shit? 10 cents?"
So, the party turned out to be more of a social gathering, with no massive amounts of booze. MiKE did find a can of WD-40 but unfortunately for him it was empty. So Jen comes out and starts talking, and Eric Andersen questions her about her about some event that happened earlier. She runs off pissed, which took us by surprise!
MC Rae: "So Eric, it WAS true!"
MC Rae: "We better go now, she's pretty pissed"
Chadlei: "Nah, let's stay for a little bit longer!"
So we stay, and it turns out Jen needs a ride home. So she comes with us and we go to Boston Pizza instead, where MC Rae is attacked by a BP staff member. Shaken by this occurence, MC Rae was unable to eat the rest of his food! Wow! So the BP waitress tries to eat our camera (yes the same BP waitress that though Eric and his girlfriend were brother and sister), but her attempt failed and we were able top take that last picture of Jen.
As per my only true constitutional duty (other than presiding over impeachment of members, and becoming the President on the "Death, Disability, or Resignation of the President) I hereby officially ratifly "Skeef The Sock-Penis" as an official staff member of Slurrey.com. With this ratification complete from the President and Vice President, Skeef is now officially in. My warmest and best wishes Skeef.
This signed the twenty-fifth day of March, 2001.
Vice President M.C. Rae
Skeef, being a sock penis, also has a very unique voice. He has a message for all of you readers to hear, which you can listen to here!!! (62 k)
Skeef will do updates using his voice. Let me tell you, he is one funny motherfucker.
Saturday, March 24, 2001
Thank you Eric Andersen!! A.K.A. The Platypus :-)
Thursday, March 22, 2001
ICQ used to be a good messaging program... until now. One day, I messaged someone on ICQ, and noticed that somehow, there was now a banner in the message window. FUCK THE WHAT!!!! I don't remember downloading a new fucking ad-enabled ICQ? How did this fucking banner get here? This fucking sucks!! So I moved my plan to bomb AOL offices higher on my priority list.
Then today, I looked up pages on how to get rid of the banners, and found this nifty little program. It gets rid of the banners in your message boxes, without you having to hack ICQ yourself. Buefore you run this program, make sure you do the following:
1. Download build 3279 of ICQ, which should be the latest version right now.
2. MAKE SURE that you shut down ICQ before you run this program, or things could get very fucked up.
3. READ THE FUCKING README!!! I ain't responsible if your ICQ kicks the fucket.
Download the program here.
I got sent home from work yesterday. Why? Cause I was working too close to the edge of the 6th floor, without being tied off to something. There's a zero tolerance policy on safety or something, and you don't even get a warning there. It pissed me the fuck off cause there was no possible way I could have fallen off the edge the way I was kneeling down drilling. I couldn't fall of even if I tried. So I lost a day's pay for some bullshit safety rule. Sucker of buffalo cock.
I may be pissed off, but it's a hell of a lot better than being pissed ON.
Tuesday, March 20, 2001
I am working on a COPSIDE advertisement for my old school's yearbook. I paid $50 for it but hey, it's COPSIDE and it deserves that.
I'm also looking for some good high-quality soundfonts. Anyone got any?
Monday, March 19, 2001
That's what you've been seeing for the past 2 days on my webcam. If it's not on there anymore, then look in the archives. When I returned this movie, Rogers Video employees were wondering why the movie was glued in it's box. Glued huh?
Probably no one.
Saturday, March 17, 2001
So I check the stats for this site for the first time in a couple of months. This site averages about 350 unique visitors a month, but so far this month, we've gotten 550 unique hits!! And all the extra ones were AFTER we switched to the new server. And each day the number of hits keep growing. People, I believe this site is now starting to bloom into the ugly thorny flower we all want it to be.
Other than that, I added Frosty to the webcam page. We all know how M.C Rae likes redheads, but she's in Europe right now so she's safe.
Oh fuck I better finish the damn video page, haven't worked on that for a week now.
Friday, March 16, 2001
THE ONLY slightly positive thing about it is I will be staying here a little longer, so I can see more people and possible get my Cameo in Copside 3 filmed... IF THEY GET IT STARTED THIS CENTURY!
Fuck yourselves kiddies, I'm spent...
Thursday, March 15, 2001
You know how much I hate using the portable toilets at work. They are fucking disgusting. I don't know how someone can be dis-coordinated enough to not be able to shit into the toilet bowl, and end up shitting all over the seat. Every day I go in there, there is shit smeared all over the seat. Jesus, it's like the guy WIPED HIS ASS WITH THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT or something. It's gross, gross enough to sicken the shit out of me. Oh wait, I don't think I could defecate in such a dirty area; my shit would be too frightened to come out.
Now a frightening new trend has started. Since I refuse to shit at work (I have to hold it till I get home), I still use the porty for one thing: the urinal. But now idiots sare starting to throw stuff into the urinal, like cigarette butts and toilet paper and shit. Needless to say, the result is extremely terrifying:
This is wrong. The hole in the bottom got plugged, and people kept pissing in there until it reached the top. Fuck, I'd rather be pissing gasoline onto a fire than having to piss into that fucking urinal again. UUNNGGHH.
Seriously now, I will most likely not have access to a useable internet terminal, short of building my own out of all the snow NY just reciently got... So this will be the last you hear of me for a little while at least. On the long term front, I forsee a move back to Canada in the upcomming months, a permanent one. Not sure where yet... Would prefer the good-ole Lower Mainland, but Winnipeg is really cheap, and easy to get a job there. ANYWAYS, I'll send ya'll an update when I figure something out.
Till next time kiddies...
Wednesday, March 14, 2001
In Survivor news, I was totally pissed off that Alicia got voted off. It should have been Jerri cause she is a nasty bitch and everyone hates her, and every time she comes on the screen I want to huck the remote control at the screen (but I don't cause that bitch ain't worth breaking a $5 remote for). At least Alicia was somewhat fuckable. Jerri is just a fucking doberman, and look how big her mouth is compared to the rest of her face! I guess she must have defenitely sucked many large cocks in her lifetime (hey is that why she hasn't been voted off the show yet?).
At least Elisabeth is still on the show. I swear if Elisabeth gets voted off before Jerri, I will dedicate my life to find each of the remaining Survivors who voted her off, and shove them into Jerri's extremely loose vagina. Have a good day.
Tuesday, March 13, 2001
- Some images in various sections of the site
- Some of the videos
- Some of the Slurrey Show
- Some links here and there
- My inflatable girlfriend
- The MP3's
So bare with it I'll fix everything tomorrow when I get back from work. For now, I must go sleep and dream about kangaroos having bouncy sex with trees. Oh my... we got a wet one here.
We have finally found a great host for this site, and that is http://www.fateback.com!!! So this site is no longer hosted off of my own computer.
You may be thinking, "So what?".
With this site now being hosted on a faster server, it can withstand the heavy amount of traffic it will soon get due to the unbelievable shit I will start doing. And I can finally start advertising this site again. So, expect a lot more crazier shit happening soon, including a new staff member... who isn't even human! What the fuck? Where have you seen a non-human staff member posting on a website before? (other than Swash the can bear?) Well you'll only see it on Slurrey.com, cause we fucked up Canadians are just full of demented innovation.
More women in the Senate my ass!
Monday, March 12, 2001
The record companies have had us by the balls the last few years, charging so much for shitty hafl-done CD's. It's time we grab THEM by the balls and tear them off.
www.mynapster.com - Download the best alternative to napster here!
The sun rose and the birds chirped peacefully
in the early morning hours
A cat briefly farted and blew the dew off some grass
While the neighborhood slept
Suddenly the tranquil dawn was shattered
By the sound of a fucking alarm clock
It's brain-piercing sound awakened Bob
from his dream of fornication with animals
And he pulled his finger out of his anus
Wondering what it was doing in there.
Well hot shit! I'm a poet!
Saturday, March 10, 2001
Friday, March 09, 2001
Insert your name here: Drunk Hokie
Comments go here: I know that Canadians are as nationally up the ass as Americans, but occasionally there is a shining example of why a lot of Americans look down upon you just as much as you look down upon us. So if you would like to complain about shit that goes on in the grand and fucked up US of A, be sure that you LIVE here first!
ATTENTION RETARD: I am responding to this entry in the guestbook (see above) I DO live in the U.S.A. New York to be exact, and I AM CANADIAN! I have seen first hand the ultimate stupidity and ignorance of the "Most powerful nation" (*snicker*snucker*) Half the Americans I have met can't distinguish between a HardDrive and a HardOn.... Inbred rejects... I tried to see things the way Americans see them, But their beer isn't strong enough! I'm gonna go now, better things to do.
Till next time kiddies.
Till next time kiddies
Thursday, March 08, 2001
I hate when shit just stops working for no reason! How the fock am I supposed to fix it if I don't know what the problem is? Arg.
Oh yeah we have a new staff member coming soon, and you all know him from the Slurrey Show. Yes, he is "The Platypus".
This site was down all day today. You know why? Cause @home changed my fucking IP number, so none of my sites/servers/etc were accessible. I tried to call their support line to bitch them out and try to get my old IP number back, but all I got was a busy signal. Those nad-chewing cheesedicks are now gonna cost me hours of work to fix the site up again so it works. Here's what doesn't work due to the actions of a mentally challenged ISP:
- Slurrey Shows don't work
- Copside movies can't be viewed.
- Some images are busted
- All my FTP's are down
- Anything else I discover that doesn't seem to work.
If there's one good thing that came out of this, it's that my connection speed is a hell of a lot faster. But still, I don't think the speed boost was worth changing my IP number. Fuckers.
LICKER OF SATCHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And not the kind of broken that I can fix. Ohhhh no the fucking CD lens itself is totally fucking knocked out of place! Cheap piece of shit. But I guess I'm a supertard for dropping the thing in the first place. So I shall hang my head in shame until I find one of my older shittier CD players to use. Jesus lizard.
Wednesday, March 07, 2001
Recently I have made a grave error of which I am not proud. I accused a certain member of our wonderous web community of being the impersonator. I had no proof that this individual Robinhood was the imposter, and since all people are innocent until proven guilty I have no choice but to believe him, and trust him as a friend as he has put his trust in me. I immediately retract any and all statements that I have made that may have made this person uncomfortable. In addition, I unconditionally apologize for my actions. I hope that we can all get past this dark time in our history. Thank you.
Vice President M.C. Rae
Tuesday, March 06, 2001
Rhiannon's cam is now on the portal.
Fuck I'm tired. Time to go to bed... of wait I don't have one. I guess I'm going to hit the (potato) sack then. I'll leave you all with a quote by yours truly.
"My dick is limp and dying! Quick get a hot topless nurse to perform CPR on it!"
Monday, March 05, 2001
Ok, Napster is dead. It can't survive off of people downloading homemade stuff like "The Blue Balls - My goldfish farted hydrogen.mp3"
So once Napster bites the big penis and ends up in that big courtroom in the sky, the new program WinMX will take over and no RIAA fartstick will be able to stop it.. (decentralized servers baby!). WinMX not only trades MP3 files among users, but also full movies, warez, porn, ISO's, and other cool shit! So go over there and start getting used to that program, cause it's what everyone will be using very soon. (It also connects to Napster Servers too, so really it has 10 times more mp3's than on Napster).
Saturday, March 03, 2001
Friday, March 02, 2001
Our videos fucking 0 \/\/ |\|.
I've also changed the Slurrey banner at the top, and tomorrow I'm going to do some more shit to the front page to make it look good enough.... that any mentally retarded horny kid looking at this page will start humping the monitor. And possibly get electrocuted.
I am not responsible for any injuries or death resulting from having sex with the computer while looking at this page.
Ok I've made my point. Time for me to get the sleep I need.
Thursday, March 01, 2001
Bravenet has always sucked chicken penis, I guess now they've moved up to goat penis by merging with a web company that actually know what it's doing. I guess when they start sucking cow penis (bullcock?) with freeguestbooks.com, we'll finally get our guestbook back. Those damn assgoblins.
Want to check out where I work? The building that we're building (hows that for good english?) has it's own website: www.universitymarketplace.net. This is in UBC and you can see a whole bunch of construction-in-progress pictures and shit. Try to find me in the pics... well you probably won't cause I was probably behind the walls all day fucking the dog.
Of course, your cam must be updated at least once a day, or at the very longest once every 2 days. Now we can't have EVERYONE's cam on there as boring as mine, can we?