Friday, March 30, 2001

$12 frigg'n bucks to go see a movie! Do these damn theatre corporations think people are as rich as they are? Despite the obvious answer they persist to raise prices like a damn flyin flow chart from hell! Now don't get me wrong, they must be losing money drastically for they have to show 5 bloody commercials before the movie even starts! Whatever happened to the good 'ol drive in movie days of old, where a funny little comic short of a hotdog, pickle, and fries dance across the screen singin "Lets all go to the movies... lets all go to the movies...lets all go the movies and get something good to eat!" Well I bet I have an idea where they went! Can anyone say "WE NEED MORE , i say, MORE MONEY!" Why can't these corporations follow the ingenious sales method of oh lets say McDonalds, where the cheaper you make it, the more people that will come, the higher the gross income we'll make for cryin out loud! I dunno, but sooner or later people will revolt! But i doubt any time soon... hey, i gotta go see that new movie, "ma, could i borrow a few bucks..."

Thursday, March 29, 2001


His Excellency the PRESIDENT hereby authorizes me to propose the following motions to be voted on as of this date.

1. To offcially create the site slogan as:

" a truly CanadE/N place where the bros meet the hoes"

2. Members who have been absent from activity on the website for more than two (2) weeks are subeject to immediate removal by the President if he so desires.

3. To extend the Vice President's term of office from six months to one year (retroactively). And to fix the dates for the Vice Presidential election from February 7th-14th every year (unless a resignation occurs), and to have the Vice President sworn in as of the first Friday following his election. In case of resignation an immediate (4 day) election will be held to see who serves out the remainder of the term.

[The current Vice Presidential term will expire August 17th, 2001 (the first friday after the election is over) as per the current rule if this motion is not passed]

The following members are eligible to vote:

Eric Andersen
Kink Kalb
Twisted MiKE
M.C. Rae
Darth Tuna

To vote send your vote via e-mail to

write the # and how you vote (or if you abstain) on that particular motion.

Submissions must be received by me at Midnight April 04, 2001. The results will be released after that.

Vice President M.C. Rae

Wednesday, March 28, 2001

The VIDEOS page is now finished! Doesn't it look good enough to fuck? So go ahead, check out some of our hilarious videos, and laugh until you cough up a kidney and a few used condoms. Wh00t.

Now I also added Disco Stu 72 to the staff page, and even made a section in there for past members of the staff. *Meow Mix* is officially dead, we're sorry to see her go but she gave her life so this site could survive. Well whatever at least she tasted good.

I have to go. There is a point where I'm so tired that my brain starts ceasing to function, and i have now reached it. MiKE has left the building.
Disco Stu says,
Never have I ever been given an opportunity to work with such a great staff, really... I have never been given an opportunity to work with any staff whatsoever.

So thank you slurrey for raising me the way you did, ahhhhhhhhhhhh... f*ck. Anyways, I had a rather interesting day, found out i need somebody to carpool with to vancouver, had the grand and surprising opportunity to watch somebody do shrooms and pick his bloody nose in a McDonalds washroom and THEN he asked me for money, cripes! Then had to detour from frigg'n broadway to 29th on bus then wait another 30 damn minutes at skytrain before we finally left, I tink there was a big accident at broadway, i saw 2 ambulances and 2 firetrucks at the time. What a bloody interesting night.
I tossed a coach from the game I was refereeing today because he said "nice try" after he thought that I intentionally tried to make his team lose.

Rick Griffiths you are an ASSHOLE, take a long walk off the short plank (into shark infested waters)

Assistant Coach (ASS COACH) you are about as attractive as a pile of conjealed goat meat and smell as bad too

The entire Surrey Bantam Flyers can kiss my ass, yes I intentionally tried to fix that game, and it's a shame that it didn't work well!

Tuesday, March 27, 2001

There is a new staff member coming soon, who is well known on our discussion board. Once he joins, things will get even more interesing around here.

Survivor is back in its regular thursday timeslot again. Can't wait to see Jerriwhore kicked off the island. Well, she'll either be kicked off or beaten to death with large flaming sticks in this episode since no one can fucking stand her. And the video of her and Colby humping in the bushes like mentally underdeveloped monkeys should hit the internet soon. Question is, anyone who wants to see Jerri in any act involving reproduction probably hates the human race, cause if her gene pool continues we're all fucking doomed. Actually, I think Jerri brutally raped Colby cause no creature on earth would want to get too close to her stinky black hole (it's so massive that its gravity field sucks even light in, but still manages to let the scent of dead fish waft out). Fucking bitch.
There are also rumors of Bill Gates getting hit in the head with a big rubber penis. No word yet on whether he enjoyed it.

Monday, March 26, 2001

In Slurrey (website) News:

(this part will be taken over by Skeef once he is removed from the family dog's butt)

  • The video page is almost complete (no we will not have any midget scat porn)
  • Staff members who are not posting enough will be given a warning. Staff members who have not posted for weeks will be considered dead and will be buried in MiKE's back yard.
  • Skeef is considering surgery to improve his looks. After all, a talking sock penis needs a face.
  • This site's hits have tripled in the last 2 weeks. And no it's not from MiKE hitting the reload button on his browser every five seconds. We're talkin UNIQUE hits.
  • There seem to be 2 electric nipple-stimulation plugs coming out of MiKE's computer. MiKE maintains that these plugs are MIDI cables. Nice try there.
Here is the Copside advertisement I was working on. I paid $50 to have it put in my old high school's yearbook.

There was a time back in high school when I used to wish I had math before physics during the day. Then I could say:
"Huh huh huh nuclear aftermath huh huh.."

Really. True story!

Sunday, March 25, 2001

I have a bitchin new TV. It's a JVC 27-inch stereo TV, with composite inputs and outputs, and S-video in. The picture is amazing, and I bought this TV for only $200 canadian (no taxes either). And to think I was gonna pay over $500 for one of these babies... shit!

So now the question it, what do I do with my 200 year old wooden beast TV? Well other than the obvious solution of EATING IT, I've decided to sell it for a mere $50 cdn. That's right, 26 inch TV that's 20 years old, but still has a pretty damn good picture quality. Well... the best you can get from an RF input. So you interested in buying it, post on the fucking dicussion board.
Ok, whenever we go out and take lots of pics with the digital camera, they will not only be put on the features page, but a story will also be written about them, by SKEEF THE SOCK-PENIS!! Here's this week's:

The Misadventures of Slurrey Staff Part 8
By Skeef the Sock Penis

It was a dark and boring night. Kink Calb was looking for some any liquid substance to give him a buzz. He found it. Meanwhile, M.C Rae was chillin at the local hoe stop having
a beverage to keep himself awake through the shitty night. MiKE arrives at the hoe stop, highly intoxicated after eating some more newspapers and beer bottles. Chadlei realizes how fucking sober he is and makes the suggestion that we crash a party full of 16 year olds.

"But Chadlei, the most intoxicating drink there would be a five alive!"

Chadlei: "Let's go!!!"

So off we head to the party. On the way there, Eric Andersen comes running out from a bush and jumps onto the van. After looking for any house showing signs of a party (basically with lights on), we saw two people standing outside in the driveway, smoking monkey crack imported from Brazil. Looks like we had arrived at the destination. Chad had to turn around to park properly (cause he was anti-parking-backwards). When we got there again, there was a massive crowd of girls outside awaiting our arrival. The party has now started.

So we go in, and the host of this party seems happy of our presence, and so does her extremely drunk peer on the right. Chadlei sniffs
out the place
for some mary-juana, and it appears that he is successful. Later on, some people started smoking some marijuana, but the quality of it was so bad that someone said:

"Hey it smells like you're smoking a chicken bone over there."
"Man what'd you pay for that shit? 10 cents?"

So, the party turned out to be more of a social gathering, with no massive amounts of booze. MiKE did find a can of WD-40 but unfortunately for him it was empty. So Jen comes out and starts talking, and Eric Andersen questions her about her about some event that happened earlier. She runs off pissed, which took us by surprise!

MC Rae: "So Eric, it WAS true!"
Eric: "Yep"
MC Rae: "We better go now, she's pretty pissed"
Chadlei: "Nah, let's stay for a little bit longer!"

So we stay, and it turns out Jen needs a ride home. So she comes with us and we go to Boston Pizza instead, where MC Rae is attacked by a BP staff member. Shaken by this occurence, MC Rae was unable to eat the rest of his food! Wow! So the BP waitress tries to eat our camera (yes the same BP waitress that though Eric and his girlfriend were brother and sister), but her attempt failed and we were able top take that last picture of Jen.

My Friends,

As per my only true constitutional duty (other than presiding over impeachment of members, and becoming the President on the "Death, Disability, or Resignation of the President) I hereby officially ratifly "Skeef The Sock-Penis" as an official staff member of With this ratification complete from the President and Vice President, Skeef is now officially in. My warmest and best wishes Skeef.

This signed the twenty-fifth day of March, 2001.

Vice President M.C. Rae
I would like to welcome a new staff member to this site. The non-human staff member. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, SKEEF THE SOCK-PENIS!!!

Skeef, being a sock penis, also has a very unique voice. He has a message for all of you readers to hear, which you can listen to here!!! (62 k)

Skeef will do updates using his voice. Let me tell you, he is one funny motherfucker.

Saturday, March 24, 2001

M.C. Rae has gone into prick mode until Midnight Sunday (or Monday) all responses will be met with extreme prickishness
Good morning, last night was quite the night for me. Let's just say that I was put in a bit of an awkward situation from which I am trying to recover at this very moment. I began to realize something, and now that reality has come true and I realize where things stand. I must state that this is by far one of the best possible things that could occur, and I am glad it did!

Thank you Eric Andersen!! A.K.A. The Platypus :-)

Thursday, March 22, 2001

AOL = the epitome of mental retardation.
ICQ used to be a good messaging program... until now. One day, I messaged someone on ICQ, and noticed that somehow, there was now a banner in the message window. FUCK THE WHAT!!!! I don't remember downloading a new fucking ad-enabled ICQ? How did this fucking banner get here? This fucking sucks!! So I moved my plan to bomb AOL offices higher on my priority list.

Then today, I looked up pages on how to get rid of the banners, and found this nifty little program. It gets rid of the banners in your message boxes, without you having to hack ICQ yourself. Buefore you run this program, make sure you do the following:

1. Download build 3279 of ICQ, which should be the latest version right now.
2. MAKE SURE that you shut down ICQ before you run this program, or things could get very fucked up.
3. READ THE FUCKING README!!! I ain't responsible if your ICQ kicks the fucket.

Download the program here.
This weekend, the new, non-human staff member will become part of the staff. Who/what can it be? Well, let's just say that the entire Slurrey Show staff (or anyone who's been to my room) already knows this future staff member (at least subconsciously).
I could not fucking update yesterday because Blogger was down YET AGAIN. Those testicle gnats are getting more and more unreliable. Anyways, Slurrey Show episode 6 is now up, I suggest you DOWNLOAD it since streaming doesn't seem to work properly. This is a good one though, with what could be the best commercial we have ever done. Alrighty.

I got sent home from work yesterday. Why? Cause I was working too close to the edge of the 6th floor, without being tied off to something. There's a zero tolerance policy on safety or something, and you don't even get a warning there. It pissed me the fuck off cause there was no possible way I could have fallen off the edge the way I was kneeling down drilling. I couldn't fall of even if I tried. So I lost a day's pay for some bullshit safety rule. Sucker of buffalo cock.

I may be pissed off, but it's a hell of a lot better than being pissed ON.

Tuesday, March 20, 2001

No updates today, though you may have noticed a new poll. Vote on it or die by severe monkey rapeage.
I am working on a COPSIDE advertisement for my old school's yearbook. I paid $50 for it but hey, it's COPSIDE and it deserves that.

I'm also looking for some good high-quality soundfonts. Anyone got any?

Monday, March 19, 2001

I watched the movie Almost Famous on the weekend. Ugh. It's 90% chick-flick, and 13% slight humor. Ok I don't know how that works out (I am mathematically retarded), but you get the idea. Now the one redeeming quality of this movie is.... KATE HUDSON! Holy shitpan is she fucking hot. Now that's what I call perfection.

That's what you've been seeing for the past 2 days on my webcam. If it's not on there anymore, then look in the archives. When I returned this movie, Rogers Video employees were wondering why the movie was glued in it's box. Glued huh?
Hey check out the new design! Holy yellow shit that looks elite. The page also loads faster now, because I took out that 800x600 sized pic of the nuclear esplosion in the background. Who the fuck could see that anyways? Besides I was the only one here with a fetish for nuclear explosions and it ws time to move on to things that make the rest of the population horny. Smoothly shaded blue bars! I am wondering how many people are jerkin the bone at this sexy new design.

Probably no one.

Saturday, March 17, 2001

So I check the stats for this site for the first time in a couple of months. This site averages about 350 unique visitors a month, but so far this month, we've gotten 550 unique hits!! And all the extra ones were AFTER we switched to the new server. And each day the number of hits keep growing. People, I believe this site is now starting to bloom into the ugly thorny flower we all want it to be.

Other than that, I added Frosty to the webcam page. We all know how M.C Rae likes redheads, but she's in Europe right now so she's safe.

Oh fuck I better finish the damn video page, haven't worked on that for a week now.

Friday, March 16, 2001

AMERICA CAN LICK MY FUCKING BALLS!! Fucking Colon-inspector of a customs officer said I CANNOT enter the fucking U.S.A. without a goddamned VISA!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT??? I have entered and exited the shit-hole multiple times in the past with no problem at all, then one old motherfucker of a customs agent says no and my whole fucking trip is screwed! $213 for a fucking Greyhound ride to NY is out the fucking shit-chute. PLUS the $650 US I paid for a fucking apartment in Newyork which I can't even fucking get to now.. COCK SLURPING PROCTOLOGIST's PRACTICE DUMMY! I've made a few RAGE-FILL calls to the US Customs about it and they say I SHOULD have been allowed in... A LOT OF GOOD THAT DOES ME NOW! MY FUCKING BUS IS HALF WAY TO BILLINGS MONTANA BY NOW! I'm Gonna tear the next American I see a new ass hole is he/she even looks at me funny.
THE ONLY slightly positive thing about it is I will be staying here a little longer, so I can see more people and possible get my Cameo in Copside 3 filmed... IF THEY GET IT STARTED THIS CENTURY!

Fuck yourselves kiddies, I'm spent...

Thursday, March 15, 2001

You know how much I hate using the portable toilets at work. They are fucking disgusting. I don't know how someone can be dis-coordinated enough to not be able to shit into the toilet bowl, and end up shitting all over the seat. Every day I go in there, there is shit smeared all over the seat. Jesus, it's like the guy WIPED HIS ASS WITH THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT or something. It's gross, gross enough to sicken the shit out of me. Oh wait, I don't think I could defecate in such a dirty area; my shit would be too frightened to come out.

Now a frightening new trend has started. Since I refuse to shit at work (I have to hold it till I get home), I still use the porty for one thing: the urinal. But now idiots sare starting to throw stuff into the urinal, like cigarette butts and toilet paper and shit. Needless to say, the result is extremely terrifying:

This is wrong. The hole in the bottom got plugged, and people kept pissing in there until it reached the top. Fuck, I'd rather be pissing gasoline onto a fire than having to piss into that fucking urinal again. UUNNGGHH.
I'm back again. I just realized there is a picture of me on this page. damn you mike. I'm sitting on santa's lap. He was scary, and i didn't like the way he was touching me.
Mike has threatened to kill me if I didn't post something here. So here I am, posting something. Umm........on Sunday i pulled my eyebrow ring out, it was really funny. It didn't hurt 'cause i didn't notice that the hole was getting smaller. And it got so small it was just hanging by a tiny piece of skin. I didn't know your skin could reject piercings. This coming from the piercing freak. I'm not really mad about losing it, just the money i wasted on getting it, i only had it for 2 months. This is a big deal for me, i know no one else cares. I just want to warn everyone that piercings can be rejected...I'm a rejector. I'm going crazy over this break. I haven't had this much time off for over a year now. I've been to busy working at Canadian Tire. I never get a day off. I need some work to do. I can't wait until school starts again. And I'll be graduating this June. I won't have anything to do. Maybe i can move to BC and stalk Mike again. Yes Mike, that was me. Screw this
Well, I'm hopping on another fucking Greyhound to trek back to NY at 7.a.m. tomorrow... Goody. Don't get me wrong, I am anxious to be with my baby again, I've missed her very muchly. (shut up M.C.RAE, I know bad grammar, but I don't care. ) I am disappointed that I didn't get to meet the entire staff, namely the two female members, concidering I've known the rest of you goofs for a few years now... But I'm willing to bet that My babe is all-too-happy to know that I didn't meet up with them. You know how women are. They find ONE lousy pair of panties in your briefcase and go all suspicious.... LOL

Seriously now, I will most likely not have access to a useable internet terminal, short of building my own out of all the snow NY just reciently got... So this will be the last you hear of me for a little while at least. On the long term front, I forsee a move back to Canada in the upcomming months, a permanent one. Not sure where yet... Would prefer the good-ole Lower Mainland, but Winnipeg is really cheap, and easy to get a job there. ANYWAYS, I'll send ya'll an update when I figure something out.
Till next time kiddies...

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

More and more links and other shit on this site has been fixed now, as well as a few sections slightly updated. I also fixed Rhiannon's cam, which was showing the same image for 5 days now.

In Survivor news, I was totally pissed off that Alicia got voted off. It should have been Jerri cause she is a nasty bitch and everyone hates her, and every time she comes on the screen I want to huck the remote control at the screen (but I don't cause that bitch ain't worth breaking a $5 remote for). At least Alicia was somewhat fuckable. Jerri is just a fucking doberman, and look how big her mouth is compared to the rest of her face! I guess she must have defenitely sucked many large cocks in her lifetime (hey is that why she hasn't been voted off the show yet?).

At least Elisabeth is still on the show. I swear if Elisabeth gets voted off before Jerri, I will dedicate my life to find each of the remaining Survivors who voted her off, and shove them into Jerri's extremely loose vagina. Have a good day.

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

Ok due to moving the site to a whole new wonderful fucking server, here's what doesn't work:

- Some images in various sections of the site
- Some of the videos
- Some of the Slurrey Show
- Some links here and there
- My inflatable girlfriend
- The MP3's

So bare with it I'll fix everything tomorrow when I get back from work. For now, I must go sleep and dream about kangaroos having bouncy sex with trees. Oh my... we got a wet one here.
Alrighty then!
We have finally found a great host for this site, and that is!!! So this site is no longer hosted off of my own computer.

You may be thinking, "So what?".

With this site now being hosted on a faster server, it can withstand the heavy amount of traffic it will soon get due to the unbelievable shit I will start doing. And I can finally start advertising this site again. So, expect a lot more crazier shit happening soon, including a new staff member... who isn't even human! What the fuck? Where have you seen a non-human staff member posting on a website before? (other than Swash the can bear?) Well you'll only see it on, cause we fucked up Canadians are just full of demented innovation.
Just to let everyone know I am taking a short leave from my Vice Presidential duties on this site so that I can finish the mounting term papers that I must do!

More women in the Senate my ass!
Hot sacks of Horse manure And brick walls.... Ahhh... That reminds me of another great explicit sexual story... Not the pretty kind tho.... Well once again in a time and place long ago there was a really fucked up gay kid named Eric O'Hern.... He one day decided to insult "The Great Platypus".... he thought it would be funny to make a pitiful attempt of a joke and then laugh like a stupid fucking idiot at the pathetic thing afterward... So in his fit of rage "The Great Platypus" RAPED Eric O'Herns ASS With a 7-11 SLURPEE CUP STRAW still oozing with synthetical slurpee fluids which broke into about 5 different pieces as it penetrated his rectum... Imagine his suprise when every body else pointed and laughed at his horrible misfortune as what was left of the slurpee straw hung from his hairy ass... The pathetic scrub then made a feeble attempt at attacking "The Great Platypus" by slapping and attempting to molest him... Well this turn of events sat well with no one... So before he could utter the crude phrase "FuckMeUpTheHairyGoatAss" he was thrown to the ground by both "Chadlie" and "The Great Paltypus" and was then beaten to the ammusement of the crowd (I.E. All of the drunk bastards)... So ends Another adventure of "The Great Platypus"... The preceeding was based on a true story as always..... Fuck you all... Thank you for Wasting your time and good Fucking night... Shit it's late... The Platypus...

Monday, March 12, 2001

Well, it's time to change the poll on the main page. You know, what surprised me what that rather than downloading music, 69% of the people who voted would rather go and pay $20 for a CD with only one or two good songs on it, and the rest of it fucking filler crap that sounds as shitty as a hot sack of horse manure hitting a brick wall at 120 kmph.

The record companies have had us by the balls the last few years, charging so much for shitty hafl-done CD's. It's time we grab THEM by the balls and tear them off. - Download the best alternative to napster here!
I wrote a very deep, involving, and emotionally intense poem:

The sun rose and the birds chirped peacefully
in the early morning hours
A cat briefly farted and blew the dew off some grass
While the neighborhood slept
Suddenly the tranquil dawn was shattered
By the sound of a fucking alarm clock
It's brain-piercing sound awakened Bob
from his dream of fornication with animals
And he pulled his finger out of his anus
Wondering what it was doing in there.

Well hot shit! I'm a poet!
Is it not incredibly ironic that the one member of the Slurrey Show that is constantly attempting to "ass rape" other members on camera would write a story about me and that lewd activity. Now that's intellegence for you.
Now this is a rather interesting sex story... It all started long ago... Well... Actually like two weeks ago... But that is beside the point... Any ways there was onec a Vice president called M.C. Rae, who used to have a tight ass... but ever since Kink Calb returned from New York he has been a very naughty boy... One night, in the presidential office, he asked M.C. Rae about his sexuality and just when M.C. Rae was about to answer Kink Calb threw him on to the desk, ripped off his pants and brutally ass raped him numerous times as M.C. Rae screamed on and on... When M.C. Rae came to the painful conclusion that nobody had heard his screams or cries for help he decided to his mouth shut so Kink Clab woulden't get any more ideas... The next day M.C. Rae had his body guard "The Platypus" executed for neglection of duty... as for Kink Calb due to the political nightmare this scandal would have invoked by his being imprisoned was instead made a part of the slurrey show... and that was the story of how Kink Calb was inducted into the slurrey show staff... This has been yet another explicit example of sexual reference and was dedicated to M.C. Rae...Remember ALWAYS USE A CONDOM WHEN ASS RAPING ANYBODY... NO MATTER HOW OLD, LOOSE, OR CLEAN YOU MIGHT THINK THEY ARE... Remember.... You can never be to lubricated... Thank you all and Good Fucking Night...
Well there've been no updates from me the past 2 days. I've been playing around with my new Sound Blaster Live! Platinum. I was supposed to get a Playstation 2 on friday, but I though, "Nah that piece of shit is too expensive right now, so I'll just buy the best sound card in existence right now". This fucker can do so much, I don't even know where to begin. It also came with so much fucking software that I shit myself in overwhelmedness. Kink Calb was also here the past 2 days, and we even did a Slurrey Show starring him as a guest AND... Eric Van Egdom! 2 guests in one Slurrey Show! What will we think of next? Ok I have to get up in 4 hours, so fuck the rest of this update. Goodnight.

Saturday, March 10, 2001

I cannot stand explicit sexual references on here by certain staff members.

Friday, March 09, 2001

12/31/69 04:00:00 PM
Insert your name here: Drunk Hokie

Comments go here: I know that Canadians are as nationally up the ass as Americans, but occasionally there is a shining example of why a lot of Americans look down upon you just as much as you look down upon us. So if you would like to complain about shit that goes on in the grand and fucked up US of A, be sure that you LIVE here first!

ATTENTION RETARD: I am responding to this entry in the guestbook (see above) I DO live in the U.S.A. New York to be exact, and I AM CANADIAN! I have seen first hand the ultimate stupidity and ignorance of the "Most powerful nation" (*snicker*snucker*) Half the Americans I have met can't distinguish between a HardDrive and a HardOn.... Inbred rejects... I tried to see things the way Americans see them, But their beer isn't strong enough! I'm gonna go now, better things to do.
Till next time kiddies.
HOPEFULLY we can get our ilustrious Vice President to actually take some time to appear on the show.... He is ALWAYS busy doing something... last time it was something involving a tub of green jello and a junior hockey team... Or was that Jody? huh, anyway, he better show up this time, Or I'll have to "Persuade" him some how... I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES.... Well, if it works out, we should have a new episode of the show tonight, otherwise... El Vice Presidente may have assasins on his ass. (and not in the way he usually likes them on his ass).
Till next time kiddies
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest...(Georges last birthday wish)
MIKE!!! GREEN VAN!!!.... Hahaha...... I am George and I peek out of my cell at the funney people that walk into my howse.... bwahahaha!!! Fuck me.... and Mike!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2001

I wonder what the fuck is going on. First, my headphones broke, then I dropped my discman and broke that too, then my IP number was changed, and now the fucking video camera won't work!!! It makes shitloads of fuzz on the screen!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!

I hate when shit just stops working for no reason! How the fock am I supposed to fix it if I don't know what the problem is? Arg.

Oh yeah we have a new staff member coming soon, and you all know him from the Slurrey Show. Yes, he is "The Platypus".
This site was down all day today. You know why? Cause @home changed my fucking IP number, so none of my sites/servers/etc were accessible. I tried to call their support line to bitch them out and try to get my old IP number back, but all I got was a busy signal. Those nad-chewing cheesedicks are now gonna cost me hours of work to fix the site up again so it works. Here's what doesn't work due to the actions of a mentally challenged ISP:

- Slurrey Shows don't work
- Copside movies can't be viewed.
- Some images are busted
- All my FTP's are down
- Anything else I discover that doesn't seem to work.

If there's one good thing that came out of this, it's that my connection speed is a hell of a lot faster. But still, I don't think the speed boost was worth changing my IP number. Fuckers.
Eat snacky poofs.
Today when I came home from work, I dropped my discman. It bounced a couple of times on the driveway, the lid flew open and the CD fell out, and it made a pretty loud noise too. FUCK. So I pick it up and try to play the CD, and guess what. My $150 CD player is now broken.

LICKER OF SATCHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And not the kind of broken that I can fix. Ohhhh no the fucking CD lens itself is totally fucking knocked out of place! Cheap piece of shit. But I guess I'm a supertard for dropping the thing in the first place. So I shall hang my head in shame until I find one of my older shittier CD players to use. Jesus lizard.
The"Contact Us" page has been updated to include the rest of the staff. Video page has been worked on today too a bit.Expect this site to go through a complete overhaul soon.

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

My friends,

Recently I have made a grave error of which I am not proud. I accused a certain member of our wonderous web community of being the impersonator. I had no proof that this individual Robinhood was the imposter, and since all people are innocent until proven guilty I have no choice but to believe him, and trust him as a friend as he has put his trust in me. I immediately retract any and all statements that I have made that may have made this person uncomfortable. In addition, I unconditionally apologize for my actions. I hope that we can all get past this dark time in our history. Thank you.

Vice President M.C. Rae

Tuesday, March 06, 2001

If you check the webcam page, you'll see a new pretty face on there!
Rhiannon's cam is now on the portal.

Fuck I'm tired. Time to go to bed... of wait I don't have one. I guess I'm going to hit the (potato) sack then. I'll leave you all with a quote by yours truly.

"My dick is limp and dying! Quick get a hot topless nurse to perform CPR on it!"
- MiKE

Monday, March 05, 2001

I can't get this damn song outta my head:
Cold Play - Yellow

And that was our MP3 of the day! Best downloaded while trying to shove a flaming cat down your pants. Rowwwrrr indeed.
On the webcam page, the Irish Bitch won't be updating her webcam for the next few days cause she is in Florida. Speaking of webcams, Kink Calb seems to have made it onto the main staff cam, along with an old staff member of this site: Eric Van Egdom!!!!
Well, Napster is going down the shithole. They are going to install a filter so you can't trade copyrighted music.
Ok, Napster is dead. It can't survive off of people downloading homemade stuff like "The Blue Balls - My goldfish farted hydrogen.mp3"

So once Napster bites the big penis and ends up in that big courtroom in the sky, the new program WinMX will take over and no RIAA fartstick will be able to stop it.. (decentralized servers baby!). WinMX not only trades MP3 files among users, but also full movies, warez, porn, ISO's, and other cool shit! So go over there and start getting used to that program, cause it's what everyone will be using very soon. (It also connects to Napster Servers too, so really it has 10 times more mp3's than on Napster).
I think I masturbate more than half of my guy friends do. Should I be worried?!?!?

Saturday, March 03, 2001

The guestbook is working again, but it's not like anyone is goin to sign it. Fuckers!
Keep checking out our videos page, more and more videos are being re-encoded.

Friday, March 02, 2001

One of the best things going for this site is the unique and very funny videos that we have. Lately not many people have been watching them, so I've decided to improve the video page and re-encode the videos so they are smaller and of better quality. Let's face it, half the videos on there look worse than a gorilla's hairy ass after taking a big shit. So go and check out the video page, over the weekend it will improve more and more, and you can see the progress I've made so far.

Our videos fucking 0 \/\/ |\|.
Added 2 cams to the webcam page. Check them out!
I've also changed the Slurrey banner at the top, and tomorrow I'm going to do some more shit to the front page to make it look good enough.... that any mentally retarded horny kid looking at this page will start humping the monitor. And possibly get electrocuted.

I am not responsible for any injuries or death resulting from having sex with the computer while looking at this page.

Ok I've made my point. Time for me to get the sleep I need.

Thursday, March 01, 2001

As you can see (but probably don't care), the guestbook isn't working. has merged with the shittiest web service company in existence, and now they took down all the guestbooks and say that they are sending us the new HTML code to link the guestbooks with. I don't believe those totempole-fuckers. It's been almost a week now.

Bravenet has always sucked chicken penis, I guess now they've moved up to goat penis by merging with a web company that actually know what it's doing. I guess when they start sucking cow penis (bullcock?) with, we'll finally get our guestbook back. Those damn assgoblins.
Work was a bitch today. It rained all fucking afternoon. Remember in my last rant where I bitched about my boots getting soaked for no reason? Well, today not only were my boots carrying enough water to re-vegetate the entire Sahara, but the rest of me was also totally fucking wet. And it's supposed to piss rain for the entire month too. Fark.

Want to check out where I work? The building that we're building (hows that for good english?) has it's own website: This is in UBC and you can see a whole bunch of construction-in-progress pictures and shit. Try to find me in the pics... well you probably won't cause I was probably behind the walls all day fucking the dog.
Ok, we are going to have webcams OTHER than mine in the webcam section. Having ONLY my mug on there makes it pretty boring. So if you want your cam in the cam portal, email me and you're in! You'll also get a link to your site!

Of course, your cam must be updated at least once a day, or at the very longest once every 2 days. Now we can't have EVERYONE's cam on there as boring as mine, can we?