Tuesday, July 31, 2001

In our DISScussion board, one of our members called 555PREZ a "dumbfuck".
555PREZ responded:

"Dumbfuck? ...You're a stupid intercourse."

I do believe that is one of the funniest comments I've ever heard.
This september, I am getting a fully loaded laptop. here are the specs:

- Pentium III 900
- 256 MB RAM
- 1600x1200 15 inch screen
- 8x DVD
- 56k modem
- Ethernet/LAN/whatever port
- 4MB per second infrared port
- Comes with a load of expensive software like Windows 2000 Pro etc.

Guess how much I paid for it? Only $2750 Cdn! Now your probably wondering,
"How the fuck did Mike get a laptop for such a low price??? Did he steal one, and accidentally lose $2750 at the same time?"

Well I'm going to BCIT this year taking Computer Science, and it just so happens that they rent out brand new top of the line laptops to their students for their courses, and at the end of the program they'll let you keep it for another $100. So now I can take my porn with me wherever I go, and spank it on the bus or in a park by the duck pond. Quak quak quaaAAAAKK!!!
This day can't get worse, it's impossible!!

You've all see telereg below, well I went in for training at my bowling alley job and it's still under construction and I accidentially steped in some of that mud stuff they put below tiles to set it.

Anyway this small Eastern European guy got rather mad at me, which was a bad idea because I deal with forceful people with force.

Here's the conversation

Chad steps on the tile guck

Boris: "FUCK OFF"

Chad: "EXCUSE ME"

Boris: "I SAY FUCK OFF"

Chad: "YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT"

Boris: "I don't care I'm tired, you clean the mess up"

Chad: "NO, FUCK YOU"

Boris: "Yes you do clean it up"

Chad: "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT"

Boris: "Yes it was, now you clean up, you can even use my stuff" (oh yeah buddy I'm going to pick it off with my hands dumbass commie son of a bitch)

Chad: "Fuck you I have more money then your life is worth.....bitch"

Then I drove out of the lot and I got rear ended a few minutes later by an East Indian guy here is the transcript of that.

feels a bump

Jaspal: "Oat a my God, Oat a my God, I am so surrey dood"

Chad: "That's OK this day can't get worse"

inspects damage

Chad: "Nothing, no big deal"

Jaspal: "vhat?, no deal?"

Chad: "Never mind"

Jaspal: "Vhy you ave bad day?"

I tell him story

Jaspal: "Fucking Russian bitch, you dun vorry ok"

Anyway then I get home and phone my boss and tell him all this shit....I got out for a walk and when I get outside my neighbour's dog bit me.

SO I've had a shitty day...

anyone know how to get tile mud off your fingers?

So I went to see Planet of the Apes.

I really enjoyed it a lot. The costumes were really damn good, those fucking apes really looked (and acted) like fucking apes! I mean, the way they beat their chests, grunted and roared at each other, and jumped around kinda reminds me of some of my co-workers where I work. Helena Bonham Carter's ape costume still looked the best, cause she still looked somewhat fuckable as an ape. Maybe it's just cause she's so hot, but there's something about her that makes hairy ape nipples not seem so bad. Yikes!

The visuals in the movie looked great, Ape town looked amazingly like something Apes would have built, and also resembles my room quite a bit. The special effects are also great, who knew that pulses of (laser?) light could be reflected off glass like that instead of going right through! Amazing!

Estella Warren is fucking beautiful. She's that hot chick who always follows the main character Leo around. Just seeing her in those raggy clothes that showed quite a bit of the goodies forced me to leave a surprise for the janitor after tha movie was over. She doesn't say much, I don't even fucking know why she's in the movie, cause Leo doesn't even regard her as a female.

Which brings me to some of the flaws in the movie. Absolutely nothing happens between Leo, Ape Chick, and human chick. Sure ape chick and human chick both show a slight bit of jealousy over Leo, but that's about it. Leo doesn't even give a rat's ass about either of them, probably due to his lack of balls. He just wants to get off the planet, away from them. Oh shit did I mention he uses human chick as bait for the apes? What the fuck! I never can sympathise with retarded main characters. But near the very end of the film there is at least a little bit of kissing action going on.

Ah the ending. Many people say that it is a terrible ending. But no one realizes that it will all be explained in the sequel. Yeah the ending just screams "SEQUEL!!!!" all over it, all it's missing is the "to be continued" phrase. I must say though that the very last 5 minutes of the movie shold have been 15 minutes longer, cause of all the stuff they crammed in there. It just didn't flow right.

Awesome movie, I defenitely recommend it.

Monday, July 30, 2001

(REGARDING THE LOWER MAINLAND BUS STRIKE)

My friends in Victoria have informed me that the government is meeting in Victoria at this hour and that a settlement may be imposed as soon as tomorrow, the Liberals with their 77-2 majority can pass the bill in one day.

Friday, July 27, 2001


I have decided that I can assume my duties as normal I am directing Vice President Pro Tempore Jag Parhar to resume to his normal duties.

Thanks.

Vice President M.C. Rae
Well Planet of the Apes opens tomorrow, and I shall go see it sometime this weekend. I've been waiting for this movie for quite a while, cause I liked the first one so much. MC Rae says that it shall suck the big one cause it's lost all of its cornyness, but what would be the point of a remake if it was to be corny again? There's already the first movie to laugh at, hell if anything the remake will make people want to see the original just to laugh at the cornyness.

It is sorta sad that they left out that scene with the main guy fucking the ape chick. That would have stirred up enough controversy that even more people would watch it. Plus I would enjoy it very much too. (o_O)

Thursday, July 26, 2001

Recently it has come to my attention that people visiting from pheends.org have been trying to diss this site. They say we have no funny shit or content. Seriously folks these "disses" are about as effective as a retard saying Einstein is retarded. 90% of the shit on our site is original stuff we did ourselves, stuff you won't find ANYWHERE else.
Welcome the Two Latest members of The Bored Club!

The Second Truely The Board Club Member #2 : Ashley Frosty


&

The Third Truely The Board Club Member #3 : Jag Parhar



I must stress this! If you want to become one of the elite... Send your info to my e-mail address!

Because if you were truley BORED... you would have done so already!

Wednesday, July 25, 2001

JOKE ALERT:
(Yeah I admit, every few days my tired 2mhz brain can't think of anything readable to say on here, so I just post an entertaining joke instead.)

A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother comes to visit. When she arrives, she is shocked to find her daughter standing naked at the front door. "What are you doing!" insists her mother. "Mom, it's my love dress! Don't you like it?" "I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.

A few weeks later, the mother arrives at her daughter's house once. Again, she is shocked when her naked daughter answers the door to greet her. "Now what are you doing?" "Mom, it's my love dress! It keeps the marriage spicy!" "I'll give you a few more weeks," replies her mother, as she turns and leaves for the car.

Later that night, the mother decides to try it for herself. When her husband arrives home, she greets him at the front door in the nude. "Honey, what are hell are you doing!" remarks the husband. "It's my love dress, dear! What do you think of it?" "Well, to be perfectly honest," replies her husband, "I think you should have ironed it first!"
VICE PRESIDENTIAL ORDER

As Vice President, I am in charge of the staff. Staff member Chadlei? has violated his responsibilities with regard to membership. For the protection of the members, a member can only be removed if he or she resigns, does not post for a significant period of time, or is impeached by 2/3 of the staff for inappropriate conduct.

Chadlei? has not posted for over six months, and despite the fact that he does not have internet, this is still unacceptable. Posting on the message board is as acceptable as posting on the main page.

Therefore I am officially removing Chadlei? as a staff member. This does NOT require a referendum as failure to post is an automatic removal, the period established was twice a week, I think six months is more than reasonable.

This signed the twenty-fifth day of July, 2001.

Vice President M.C. Rae
NEWS FLASH

Well it's official Me and the band hit the studio on saturday so you can all look forward to hearing us on Slurrey.com the greatest Website in the lower mainland. In other news A big Gorrila escaped from the zoo Monday and has been Raping innocent victims, leaving some with up to thirty stitches in the rectal area. Lock the doors and keep away from dark bushes. That's all for now so keep an eye open for the new tunes.
EVERYBODY CHECK THIS OUT NOW!!!
Help this site out and click that link!
Welcome to INDIA WEEK on Slurrey.com

Jag Parhar is made the honourary president for this week by order of the Vice President!
I think it is....


OH YES!

There is a Bangra GOD!

Tuesday, July 24, 2001

What's that strange sound?
What's going on? Can it be?
:Q
Do you want to become an elite... A "The Board Club" Member.

If so e-mail me or something. then we can hook up yo. not like I'm gonna read it and shit... cauze....

E-mail me now I'm Bored!!!!

Founder of The BORED Club : Kayla Kennedy



Artist/Marketer/Analysist of The BORED Club : Kyle Heon



The First Truley The BORED Club Member #1 : M.C. Rae

I bought Zelda: Oracle of Seasons for gameboy color the other day. Wow that's a first.. me buying a game legitimately. Nintendo is a bunch of wallet-draining greeds cause they have two new Zelda games out, and they are pretty much the same. And they cost $45 each. But that's why we have piracy, to help poorer folk like us have enough money for scraps of food here and there, and a little bit of entertainment too.

I have become quite addicted to Oracle Of Ages, and it takes up what little spare time I have nowadays (waiting after work, and right before bed). It's even more addictive than the first Zelda game on the olf Gameboy, but with this one I don't have to worry about my eyesite diminishing to only seeing shades of green/yellow/whatever the color old Gameboy screen was.

Monday, July 23, 2001

My Fellow Slurrey.com Members and frequent visitors,

In about one month I will relinquish control of the office of Vice President to Mr. Heon who won the election last month. It has been well over a year since I assumed the position of Vice President, and it would not be an exaggeration to state that a plethora of changes have come to this website. At the time I assumed power we had a staff of three members, one of whom was me. Now we have a staff of nine strong and much more activity on the message board and all areas of the site. I tried under my leadership to improve the site from its humble beginnings of Mike talking about his seventy-two foot long penis to a fully functioning site that did not only attract the one percent of the population that is mentally retarded (although I do not know how well I succeeded at that).

I must say to all of you one thing. Thank you. Thank you for putting up with over a year of me being in charge, that is no easy feat. I enjoyed my time in charge of the staff of this site, and I hope that you have enjoyed the improvements that I have worked so hard to create. All the staff members have contributed to the site in their own unique way. Kyle, here's to a successful term please ensure that you continue the great expansion of our site.

As I go forward I must state that I do hold one regret. In December 2000, when I was officially invested as Vice President, and again in February 2001 at my second inauguration I took an oath of office. As Vice President I have "the sworn duty to treat all members here as equals regardless of my personal feelings toward them." At that I have failed. I abused my power by using my influence in what could be called a "reign of terror." The entire communism situation was a marketing stunt to attempt to make the site more interesting. However, the impeachment of Kayla (a.k.a. Irish Bitch) was not. She was impeached after we had a minor disagreement to which I clearly over reacted, and of which she promptly apologized many many many times. I immediately used the Vice President's impeachment provision to impeach her, and unethically used my influence to garner to 2/3 majority necessary for removal. Kayla, I am indeed sorry for the stress that I have caused you.

In addition, I have decided to use one of my powers in the dying days of this "lame duck" Vice Presidency. In the last week of August I will be tabling a motion to bring her back as a staff member, and I am strongly recommending that all members vote yea. She does have a right not to trust me, and I do not blame her for thinking that this is another one of my mind games that I have played in the past. I am not saying that she does not trust me, but in order to give her more comfort and inclination to accept the nomination I will make this appointment (after ratification) take effect NOON August 31, 2001. This will coincide with Vice President-elect Heon's assumption of office, so it is impossible for me to move to impeach her as I will no longer be Vice President and Mr. Heon will hold all of those powers. I really hope she accepts the olive branch that I have offered to her because I realize that I should have accepted her initial apology and forgot about it, and my impeachment of her was certainly wrong. But, I suppose when you have two strong-minded people there are often periods of unrest.

As for me with just over a month to go until I'm officially out of office I have had to make some quick decisions about my future on Slurrey.com. I have decided that due to popular demand, I will not resign my position. I will stay on as a regular staff member, but I will be taking an indefinite leave of absence to pursue other goals in my life, but I will try to post from time to time. I will miss the site.

Good luck to all.


Vice President M.C. Rae

Saturday, July 21, 2001

REFERENDUM RETURN

His Excellency THE PRESIDENT authorized a referendum on the following motions:


MOTION #2 [Executive (President)]


To Grant M.C. Rae the title of "Honourable" upon leaving office as Vice President for all slurrey.com business in recognition of his long service term as Vice President.

RESULTS

Yeas--4
Mike
M.C. Rae
Parhar
Disco Stu

Nays--0

Not Voting--3
Kink Calb
Andersen
Chadlei?

On Leave of Absence--1
Carrie

MOTION PASSES

Friday, July 20, 2001

Today I was shovelling dirt all day. I ended up with dirt in my hair, up my nose, in my mouth, down my boots, in my eye, and up my ass. Not to mention that I was working under the sun the entire day, so I got a pretty wicked tan. Now I can act black and say thing like "Word up G" and "bling bling" and it won't look funny cause I really AM black.

Thursday, July 19, 2001

Well I got pissed off and slammed my fist on the keyboard, and the "Enter" key flew off. What I saw next frightened me quite excessively. I saw a plethora of dirt, fungii, lint, unidentified organisms, and other debris that had been residing under the keys on the keyboard over the years. I was fucking grossed out by it, but I put the key back in its place and my 3-second memory span totally forgot about it. Sometimes, lack of a brain helps get ya through certain situations easier.

I love Stacy. But then again, who doesn't?!
My tongue hurts. No I did not get it pierced, nor did I attempt to tounge a lightbulb socket. The reason it hurts is cause I chewed some peppermint gum yesterday, and my tongue seemd to not like that stuff. Everything I fucking eat, it's like eating sandpaper. Not that I have ever eaten sandpaperm but I imagine that it must be almost as painful as this.

"I was playing caesar 3 and the fucking greeks attacked me!! this is your fault!!"

MC Rae is one fucking hilarious guy on ICQ. Cheezus.
No update from me today, my penis fell off and ran away from me, and I am trying to find it.

Seriously though, I was busy with other projects, which will soon see the light on this page. .

Wednesday, July 18, 2001

NOTICE OF REFERENDUM


His Excellency THE PRESIDENT authorizes a referendum on the following motions:

MOTION #1 [Vice President]

REPEALED

MOTION #2 [Executive (President)]

To Grant M.C. Rae the title of "honourable" upon leaving office as Vice President for all slurrey.com business in recognition of his long service term as Vice President.


All Staff members may vote on this motion as of now. Send the vote (yea or nay) to slurreyshow@hotmail.com

CLOSING DATE 9pm July 20th, 2001

Tuesday, July 17, 2001


If you click that button above, your penis will suddenly gain 2-7 additional inches!! Or maybe not, but it's worth a try!
I have tapped a chat room, and discovered some information about a top secret revolutionary file-swapping service:

------
Borf: And I will call it... "Crapster"

d00f: But what will it do?

Borf: It will enable users to swap mp3 files, images, and videos of their..... bowel movements.

d00f: Oh this is very exciting, I can feel my sphincter twitching already. Surely people will enjoy viewing each others bathroom activities. But will it not violate any copyright laws?

Borf: Unless your flatulence sounds like Limp Bizkit, or your fecal matter resembles clay child porn.... no I do not forsee a problem.

d00f: But anything by Limp Bizkit already sounds like it's coming out of some sort of ass.

Borf: I see reason for your concern, but be assured, Crapster will utilize filters to block out any material that isn't considered toilet-feed.

d00f: You have convinced me Mr. Borf. Now bend over so you can recieve my investment into your wonderful product
------

That is very disturbing. Shall I start copyrighting all my feces now, or later?
NOTICE OF REFERENDUM


His Excellency THE PRESIDENT authorizes a referendum on the following motions:

MOTION #1 [Vice President]

Any Staff member who has been impeached from the website shall not be able to stand for election or appointment to any staff position.

This article may not be overturned unless four-fifths of the total voting members, which must include each of the President, Vice President, and Vice President Pro Tempore vote for overturning it within twenty-four hours of its submission.

MOTION #2 [Executive]

To Grant M.C. Rae the title of "honourable" upon leaving office as Vice President for all slurrey.com business in recognition of his long service term as Vice President.


All Staff members may vote on these motions as of now. Send the vote (yea or nay) to slurreyshow@hotmail.com

CLOSING DATE 9pm July 20th, 2001
I dunno what Jag posted earlier, it was supposed to be ASCII text for an ass, but it turned out all funny. Hey that kind of looks like Duckman doesn't it?

...oo*"""**oo.oo*""*oo..
oo*" "*o.o*" "*o.
..o" 'o" "o
o o *o
o o 'o
o o o.
o o o
o \o/ o
o --0-- o
o. /o\ o
o o o
o o o
o o oo
oo o oo
oo. oo oo
'ooo. ..oo. ooo
o ""oo,, ,,oO-'Oo, ,,,,,oo"o
o. """""" oo """"" o
'o oo o'
o oo o
'o o o*
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o
o o o



What a great picture

Monday, July 16, 2001

Note to self. Put real birthday in ICQ profile.

It was quite a fucked up surprise seeing 312 "Happy Birthdays" from people on my ICQ list. Thanks anyways, but my birthday is 4 months from now.
Oh ooh ah, there's this little box on my desk right? And it says 'keys' on it... but if you open the box and look inside, there's coins inside! HA HA HA!! So if anyone breaks in, they ain't gonna steal a box that says 'keys' on it... why would they? Therefore I'd prevent about $5 in pennies, dimes, and the occaisional toonie from being stolen from me!!

I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-A-R-T I SPELLED IT RIGHT FUCKER!!

Now suddenly it occured to me that by writing all this, everyone knows that I keep money in my keys box, and will now steal it anyways. What a dilemma... press the backspace key a million times to delete this post... or risk having $5 stolen from me if someone breaks into my house?

Sunday, July 15, 2001

Oh my. I just noticed that my new reciever's top seems to be melting. It's really hot and it adds quite a bit of oommpphh to the burning plastic smell already in my room. I guess I should stop piling crap on top of it. Or maybe it's the way I hooked the speakers up and it's causing a short. Either way, at least in the winter time it will heat my room.

I begged Amanda for some linkage, she lives closeby too!
I went out and bought a brand spankin new Dolby Digital/DTS reciever. Here's the list of features it has:

- 500W power
- Dolby Digital/DTS decoding
- S-Video switching/8 video inputs 4 outputs
- 4 optical inputs
- A whole bunch of other shit I haven't figured out how to use yet.

So I have this thing hooked up to 4 speakers... the two front ones are the huge dinosaur Yamaha's that are older than I am, and the two rear ones are tiny little shits that came with the stereo my parents bought me when I was 12. Cheezus Crust, those things hooked up to a great home theater system is a fucking sin, but I can't really afford to spend another $400 on a speaker set right now. But it still sounds really good.
Well, just got home from a 4 day binge... lol Spent the first day @ This chick's place (not gonna name names for legal purposes) and I had a few Mickeys of Smirnoff to myself... same with this guy who was there, chicks only had Wildcat... lol they couldn't take it ... they were hammered too.. tried sleeping on a trampoline... I didn't sleep, no hangover... YAY FOR ME!
Well, I showered and cleaned up myself.. shaved. I'm gonna go again Tuesday I think... Just me and her, maybe her neighbour.. he's cool. He's 17, but grown-up attitude.. no fart jokes and shit.... good drinker too... lol Well, I'm gonna go now, get some sleep.... store up energy... (not gonna be sleeping much next time... *hint*

Saturday, July 14, 2001

Gawd Dawg! Why are there so many hot cashiers out there? It's gettin really hard to pay attention at work.

Well I guess workin does have it's benefits yo.

I just reached 6 hours a day damnit! Whoot!
Well Friday The thirteenth came and went, and as usual really happened to me.

So it's a friday, payday, and I'm about to leave work. So, with a fat wallet and itching to get the hell outta the place, I go downstairs to grab my shoes. So I try to open it and my fucking key dosn't work... they fuckin changed the lock!! So I go upstairs and no one had a fucking key for the place!! Shitsickles!!! So my shoes were stuck in there and I was stuck with my shitty work boots the whole weekend.

Well fuck that, thought I. I ended up buying some brand new shoes for $100 on the way home. Fuck.

So the reason I'm saying nothing bad happened to me this friday the 13th, is cause shit like that happens to me every day, and this was like a regular day.

Friday, July 13, 2001

Has anyone ever though of how fish have sex? Wouldn't it just be a riot watching 2 fish trying to go at it? I wondered how it is possible, then someone enlightened me:

"No the female fish lays her eggs in the sand and later the male comes and fertilizes them."

So let me get this straight. The female fish just goes and lays the damn eggs any place she feels like, and some random dude fish goes over to them, thinks "Hey look, some eggs on the ground." and then he procedes to jerk off all over them for no reason other then built in instinct. I will never understand animals.

So now instead of wondering how the heck fish have sex, now the question of "how the fuck does a male fish masterbate" all over the eggs? Fucking fish.

Thursday, July 12, 2001

When buildings are built, some of the workers like to leave some of their own personal 'artifacts' hidden in places between concrete walls, etc. Even I do it sometimes, writing my trademark "MV" symbol on the inside of gyprock walls where they will never be seen again for possibly over a hundred years.

I overheard someone bragging about putting a bottle of their piss between the walls. Oh great. In the distant future when the building gets torn down or blown up by aliens, a bottle of piss that has been fermenting all that time will be found. Who the fuck would piss in a bottle only to have it found by someone long after they're dead? THe thought of someone discovering my piss bottled up conveniently, or even my own piss outliving me, scares the hell outta me.

I have been talking about piss too much lately, I know.
TYPICAL SURREY MCDONALDS

Last night, going through the drive "thru" (horrible english) some guy was walking through it in the line up like a car. Then he got a bag of food and immediately went to the hooker across the street!!


ONLY IN SURREY!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2001

So at work I go into the Jiffy John to piss, and I always mention how shitty those things are. Well, those little white piss fresheners at the bottom of the urinal (I don't know what they fuckin do!! Make piss smell better?) well those things keep going missing. Until then I had always thought that the piss had dissolved them, but someone wrote on the wall next to the urinal:

"Hey Femo stop eating the mints"

Femo is the other company that works there, and 90% of their workforce are italian. It's always fun to go into the john and see what hilarious stuff is put on the wall next, such as penises with mutstaches, nude chicks with mustaches, and quotes like these:

"Hey can you guys even read? Well pick up the world's shortest book: Italian War Heroes"
"The best part of you ran down your Ma's leg"
"Femo Job applications" (Written on the toilet paper dispenser)
"Femo Drinking Fountain" (Written inside the urinal)

Oh my, I'm usually laughing so hard while in there I'd piss myself if I wasn't pissing already.

Tuesday, July 10, 2001

*** theeph has joined #slurrey
[theeph] WOW!
[theeph] SO MANY PEOPLE!
[theeph] How can you keep this room under control?
*** theeph has quit IRC (http://www.pheends.org your #1 source for nothing.)


Ok so there's no one in the #slurrey channel on IRC, but it's not like I've advertised that anywhere on the site. It's not ready yet, and won't be for a while.

Monday, July 09, 2001

MULTIPLE JOKE ALERT!!!

A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand, "I found this while cleaning your room today.... Are you sexually active?" To which the daughter replies, "No, I just lay there."

An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "Check this out!" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we should do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, now would be a good time to wash it."

A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws."

Thursday, July 05, 2001

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE CRAZY FUCKING SHIT WE DID ON CANADA DAY. Oh, the hilarity.
Even more IRC fun!

[mcfly`] is the del persona overwhelming your feminine character?
[Del] no, what's getting to me is you obsessing over me and the fact that you insult all the cam girls
[mcfly`] are your mantits quivering in rage?

Wednesday, July 04, 2001

[jesus_X] No no no. When girls don't fart, it comes out as bitching.
[jesus_X] that's why girls who don't bitch fart a lot and vice versa.
I have the most headache possible right now.... I used to get a massive headache once a week, every tuesday, for some weird reason. Now I'm getting them more and more, up to 3 times a week!!! What could they be from? Lack of sleep, loud noise at work, playing music too loud, or falling down and hitting my head somewhere approximately once every 23 minutes? All of the above? And tylenol hardly does anything anymore.. what a pissoff. Maybe drilling a hole in my head would help. Sounds a lot less painful!
The site is back up, sorry for our host being too busy cornholing each other to notice that the servr was down.

Tuesday, July 03, 2001

Want to take a sneak peek at the Canada Day pictures that we took before I write up the feature? CLICK HERE!!!
Weird shit awaits within.
So since I have the PS2, I shall discuss some of its capabilities.

While playing Zone of the Enders, I noticed a horrible amount of aliasing. Aliasing is when the edges of solid objects on the screen are jagged... which is why this phenomenon is also referred to as "jaggies". Anti-aliasing is a hardware feature that smooths out these edges and makes the entire image on the screen a lot nicer to look at. I guess no one at Sony has ever heard of glasses, cause they didn't feel like implementing anti-aliasing into the PS2, and you'd have to be legally blind to not notice the fucking jagginess. You know, I like playing my fucking games and not get a seizure every 2 minutes. It was hard to see any jaggies in the Metal Gear Solid demo, so I guess there are way to work around the PS2's lack of graphics-fixing features.

The sound coming out of a PS2, is on par with the Dreamcast's, and pretty much every other system out there. Sounds damn good.

The PS2 can play DVD movies as well, and the video quality is pretty ok. I still prefer to use my actual DVD player, as it also gives you the advantage of forwarding to the next chapter on the DVD disc without WAITING FOR A FUCKING ETERNITY. It takes a good 2 or 3 seconds for the PS2 to skip to the next track/chapter on a DVD disc. Ugh. There are some nifty picture controls on the PS2 for improving DVD video quality, such as noise reduction and edge sharpening/smoothening. Oh ok so the PS2 can smooth the edges on a DVD title, but not on a game? Fuck the retardity. The sound off the PS2 for DVD movies... it's just fucking beautiful. No flaws there surprisingly.

The PS2 also plays adio CD's, and they sound quite better than on the original PSX. But I listen to CD's through my computer, so who really cares.

That's it for PS2 shit as I promised. Now do yourselves a favor and don't buy a PS2, unless you want to be like me and have bragging rights to owning every videogame system there is.
OH CANADA!

Go to this page and see our truely militant Canadians plotting our country's future!
I found it while looking around... interesting, if only for motivational purposes.
So the other day I got a Playstation 2.

STOP LAUGHING DAMNIT.

Now as you all know, Sony makes products of extreme mediocre quality, and the only reason that people even buy their products is because of the brand name behind them. I don't even know how "Sony" became such a great brand name in the first place... was it the fact that they had the best quality BETA players 20 years ago? I haven't had good luck buying Sony shit... the walkman I bought from them became worn down and unuseable after 7 months, the stereo I bought from them broke after falling 2 inches from the ground, and the Playstation... well that thing LITERALLY fell apart. Hah.

So, spending $449 cdn for a PS2 seemed a little much, so I decided to get a refurbished one for $399. Now, refurbished means that the thing was broken in the first place, was sent back to Sony to get repaired, and then sent back to the store. Now this is Sony, so I should have expected some problems.

I took the damn thing home... did I mention that the box it came in was extremely crumpled and dented? I rent a game for the PS2, which was "Zone of the (rear) Enders" and it also came with a "Metal Gear Solid" demo. I played Enders for a bit, and after about 2 minutes, it crashed like an old Nintendo game... you know where the screen freezes and the sound freezes into a singly monotonous tone? I was like "Shit" and stuck in Metal Gear Solid. The damn thing wouldn't start up at all. I stick in a DVD... that played finek, except with many skips and shit. Then I tried a CD. It sounded so fucked up... like the sound of a cat on fire, being swung around by the tail and thrown at a retarded child. Sony, had struck again.

So I take the PS2, and pack it back in the box. I regret that I forgot to stick a small dog turd inth the expansion slot in the PS2, cause it has ventilation holes in the front, so when Sony would "re-refurbish" that PS2, they'd have a nice smelly surprise waiting for them... well it probably wouldn't smell as bad as the starving dying child laborers they secretly have working in their factories.

MC Rae comes over, and we head off to return the PS2 to Superstore, the place i had bought it from.

Superstore, ah yes, the laughing stock of stores everywhere. Everytime I went there I had to wait an unreasonably long time to get or return something, and this time it was a nightmare. We must have been there for 40 minutes, while the staff there contacted other staff there with what to do with the product we were trying to return. We were sent to the electronics department, to make sure that the PS2 didn't work. That involved trying to find a game for it, and it took them at least 10 minutes to do that. So they try it out, and the game didn't work at all, and I got a brand new PS2 (I knew that getting another refurbished "Piece of Shit 2" would mean having to return to Superstore and wait another 40 minutes, cause it would be broken too). And that's another episode of "Sony fucks MiKE over".

Tomorrow I will be talking about the fatures and graphics and stuff about the PS2, which should be a hilarious read. Stay tuned.
Slash your ass wih a chainsaw.. till it gets raw.. lol.. (listen to OUTRO on Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavoured Water... Ben Stiller is a funny MoFo.. lol ) ever wonder why it shows up as 9:50 play-time.. lol

Monday, July 02, 2001

I sure hope everyone had a great Canada day. We sure did, and we have 57 pictures and some hilarious stories to prove it! Stay tuned...