Tuesday, November 27, 2001
Wow so many fucked up things have happened in the last few days.... I'm going fucking crazy!
As for this little field trip that I'm planning... The invitation is an open one. I welcome everyone to be a part of the experience. There is one thing... I am very sad that I am going to have a crappy Christmas. I will be probably home alone and babysat most of the time by family friends. (they are going to check up on me... or I will have to end up going there.) I have to work on the 23rd, 24th, and the 26th. Not much of a holiday. So, my proposal is Christmas Cheer 2001. I'm not too sure if I wish to disclose all of the events that will be happening. It will be happening mid December. If nobody wishes to attend, then I will be going with Debbie and people from Skank Hurt. Here are some details about where it will be, it will be in Vancouver and it will be outdoors. Then afterwards, we might go drinking or something. It should be a fun evening. I will let you more know when I finish drawing up the final plans.
Monday, November 26, 2001
Well, I saw some wierd shit while flipping through old copies of Maxim, so I'm gonna post it!
HOW TO CHEAT A DRUG TEST
"One day your buddy breaks out his nitrogen-cooled hookah and packs a bowl of fresh greens. Of course you don't inhale... You're a nice Canadian snowboarder and just happen to be in the room. A week later you're tested and your medal gets yanked. Yeah, we think it's a little harsh, too.
'In a job situation, people should be judged on their skills,' says president of Test Clear, who specializes in beating drug tests. 'If someone's strung-out and can't get their work done, then it's obvious they'll be fired anyway.' Most drugs aren't a concern: Cocaine burns through your system (and your wallet) in a matter of days; ecstacy, acid, and 'shrooms require expensive tests. And if you're hooked on heroin, how do you still have a job? By a cruel twist of fate, pot is the hardest to beat. Herb is fat-soluable, so it stays in your system for a month---but we've got a time line to help
Got a few weeks? Time to flush. Hit the vitamin store for some Detox Tea; drink four to six cups a day. Grab some echinacea and goldenseal root, which basically strip-mine your body, and take 700 mg of each four times a day (our doc says it'll "Make you shit your brains out"). Pop 2,000 mg of vitamin C to keep your body healthy. The day before the test, drink a quart of white vinigar (you can dilute it, but get the whole quart down). It'll burn your stomach, but throw off your PH levels.
Got a week? Test Clear offers "Powdered urine" ($40 US). A clean specimen (just add water!), it comes with a heater so you don't tip 'em off with a chilly sample. Imagine their surprise when they discover you are pregnant!
Only got an hour? Try Test Clear's Ready Clean ($30 US), a drink that minimizes your body's toxins for three to five hours. The drawback is is could dilute your urine completely, rendering the test inconclusive, meaning you'll be asked to take it again. But by then you'll have enough powdered urine to open a lemonade stand.
Till next time kiddies.... Happy Peeing!
I hate it when parents feel the urge to control ones life to such an extent as to what they are doing. I'm fine with it. I am getting by each day by coming to the library and getting my fill on the internet. I thought it was fun posting on the message board... but, now that just looks too foreign for me. Who is this "ill bill" and why doesn't he get the hint that he is not wanted? Even I know when I am wanted or not. As for the Slurrey field trip... It will be one of the good ones. I promise. I just need to think of some really good ideas. :) I am open to suggestions, but I was hoping that I could try to have most of the credit for whatever goes down! Slurrey needs a good field trip soon. It will take our minds off a lot of things, and hopefully it will have a positive outcome. :) I would also like to get to know all of you better. So, it will definately be good for me! :) I would like to know if anyone is interested in it, or I will just scrap it for now.
Sunday, November 25, 2001
Saturday, November 24, 2001
Field Trip 1 Thumbnails
Field Trip 2 Thumbnails
Field Trip 3 Thumbnails
Field Trip 4 Thumbnails
Field Trip 5 Thumbnails
Field Trip 6 Thumbnails
Field Trip 7 Thumbnails
Field Trip 8 Thumbnails
Field Trip 9 Thumbnails
Field Trip 10 Thumbnails
Field Trip 11 Thumbnails
Field Trip 12 Thumbnails
Field Trip 13 Thumbnails
Field Trip 14 Thumbnails
Field Trip 15 Thumbnails
I loved those fucking pics.
9. Tattoo your boss's face to it
8. Paint it red and mingle with mandrils at the zoo
7. Squash an ant really good
6. Insert a deck of cards in it as a magic act while
saying, "Now you see it, now you really don't want to"
5. Try to blow like a foghorn or a large African plains mammal
4. Go to a nude beach and display your hemorrhoids
3. Open a butt-reading fortune parlor (big butts cost extra)
2. Why on earth did I think of this stupid list
1. I must have had my head up my ass
Friday, November 23, 2001
"Is it difficult to make a noose out of an ethernet cable?"
My ex-boyfriend, Eric aka Mr. X, came over the other day and it sure didn't take me long to change his status. I can be a very convincing person ;) LOL. For the girls: he's 6'2" with sandy hair, hazel eyes and DAMN he's just hot and he drives a very hot car. But I'll stop yammering like that for now because that will not amuse the male members and visitors.
My father can't cook. Yesterday was the American time for Thanksgiving and I think he was literally trying to make me ill. Plus, he was being a jerk. So Happy Thanksgiving to me! Yay!
My drugs are restoring me to my previous status of non-worrywart, taker of no bullshit, giddy, impulsive and quick-witted wiseass. It's also totally destroyed any shyness/reservation that came from my depression. I may start to seem a little different...Lord knows Mike already has noticed.
Thursday, November 22, 2001
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
Anyway, I bet you are wondering what it is like to have your face plastered. It feels extremely weird. I put down a layer of plastic wrap that I got from the Cafeteria. It wasn't a present smell, even though it was new. Then, I had Debbie and this other girl start compiling the layers. It didn't help that most of the class was watching either... (Everyone is almost done except for me! LOL) So, every time someone would come poke me, or say something about how I looked, I started to laugh each time!!! I've never been so weirded out! Eventually, I got used to it, and I just laid there on the ground. (Yes, it was done on the floor.) Actually, wearing a mask... really made me feel quite claustrophobic. I am easily claustrophobic, so, I just tried to think of pleasant thoughts. It actually turned out really nicely! I get to paint it next class and I'll be done!
I bet you all want to know about my day! Well, today was the most perfect day I have had in a long time. My day yesterday ended off on a nice note, which made my day even sweeter for today. :) Usually all of my posts have been so depressing, so it makes me feel even better when I don't write garbage like that. My alcohol paper turned out really badly! Only one person emailed me with their opinion on alcohol. So, hopefully next time I ask for your help you people will be more willing to fork it out! :)
My alcohol assignment was basically only one sided. Now, I am here at the library again. I don't like it here.... it's too quiet! At least I have Debbie here with me today! :)
Up coming events: Look out for my second interview with our mystery guest!
Tuesday, November 20, 2001
Euphoria seems to stimulate further drinking. So, the only thing alcohol is good for is giving you effortless feelings of enjoyment or whatever people feel... lol. You drink it. It effects your brain by copying identical keys to act as NEURO-transmitters. You feel the affects. Then, you really feel the affects when the alcohol fades. LOL. I don't know what my point is. I think alcohol is good, I want to get drunk. I've never been drunk before. Yet, I know that is not very good if you are going to down a whole bottle every weekend. Drinking in moderation is fine. I just see so many people right now... and they fucking themselves over. My friend Angela for example, cannot go a few days with out alcohol in her blood. It is a sad thing. Please do not think I went on and on just to lecture you. I wanted to get you thinking about why you do it. If you know why you do it, can you please email me at email@example.com . I have a paper due tomorrow, and I would like to understand you all better.
Okay, now that I got all of that alcohol stuff out of my mind, I will begin by telling you people about my day. Today, I woke up late again. My alarm clock has decided to go on strike or something. Which, I was sort of angry about that, because, I was wanting to study first thing in them morning before my test. I am grounded again. This time, I think my parents are very serious about it. I'm not aloud to use the computer at all. That is bs, considering, I was doing homework, but not the exact second my mother came into the room. She caught me typing an email. She seems to disagree with me using the computer for anything except homework purposes. Which, I will have to strongly disagree with her considering the internet is the only part of my life she has no control over, and now she wishes to not allow me to use it. But, what she doesn't know, is that I am at the library right now using the internet. I wish I could access the disscussion board from this internet, but, at the library, they won't allow it. (I spelt it right!) Anyway, I did get in a huge argument with my parents last night. They were screaming at me (for the two above things, me sleeping in and about the internet) I told them that we should just be civil about this, and to not fight. My dad said that if I didn't like it that I could just move out. He said that if I left I would be taking nothing with me, not even the things I earned with my own money. He also told me he isn't going to make an effort to care about me anymore. I don't know what I did that was so illegal! LOL! I wish I knew. I am just going to stick it out. I am really getting sick and tired of all the arguments. But, if I leave I will be biting off more than I can probably chew. I'm not at all upset about the stuff that went on yesterday night. I am just disappointed. Why can't I have a family like the ones you see on TV or in the movies? Please don't stand there and tell me that TV families don't exist, because they do. I know a lot of people who have a perfect family life. I know all families have their disputes... but, if they are going to get as pathetic as having one every fricken night.. then.. who knows? I hope that one day, I don't become unhappy like them. If you have followed me up to here, thanks for listening. I know you probably think I'm being pathetic... but, you really don't know the situation, so please don't judge me.
Tonight, I have to go to Kwatlen College again! I'm so excited! LOL! It's a meeting to discuss the nursing program, ect. I was wanting to go to the library tonight. But, I will be making a habit into going every night. I will be at the walley library tomorrow, if I'm not allowed on the computer. I still cannot find my keys. Yesterday I had to wait outside for 40 minutes for my mom to get off of work. I am thinking that since they won't let me get keys cut, I will just steal a spare pair and get another set cut on Saturday before I begin my shift. I work between 1-6 on Saturday. It's going to be another long day popping popcorn. But, someone has to do it! :) I think this is an extremely long post. This should make up for the past couple of days and for the next ones coming. Kayla, I must tell you that I was extremely unclear. I was just trying to state that he won some and lost some battles in his prepresidency, I should have specified, but it would have been too much work. But, I will now. He was running for stuff won and then lost. It was he ran for minister or something, he got elected. Then, when it came for re-elections, he lost. Then, after spending time building up his ego, he started getting higher up on the food chain. Which did in fact allow him to be president for two runnings. I am very proud of Bill Clinton, if you didn't know this fact. Please do not let his perverse manor distract you from all of the wonderful things that he did for his country while he was in the big chair! LOL
I've got to get going. I'll talk to you guys later. Hopefully, I will be able to sneak on the internet at home and say hi to you all on that. My icq is 50608356 (that's if you don't have it) Seeya.
Monday, November 19, 2001
Last night, I am hanging out with my best friend, Heather, after she got off work. There are a few other people with us, a guy named Eddie, a loud, high-strung girl named Brooke, and Dee--all of whom were semi-inebriated. Alcohol seems to mellow Dee and Eddie, but Brooke just got progressively more obnoxious as the night wore on. She was accusing people of buying drinks on her tab, when she rarely pays for her own tab as it is, and the only drink on her tab that she hadn't ordered was a shot that she bought for Dee because she didn't want to take a shot by herself. She bitched all night long about stupid stuff, called 911 just to ask the operator a QUESTION which was by far not an emergency, and was randomly hitting each of us.
As the night wore on, Dee started to warn Brooke that she's not playing with her anymore, and that she had better stop smacking people. (A side note about Dee: she is a very happy person, very lively and sweet with seemingly NO temper, but warnings like that from her *I* would certainly heed because she's a former professional basketball player...a classically trained athlete) Brooke was even wrestling with the manager of the restaurant, who was getting pissed straight off. She was trashed, barely coherent and showed no sign of common sense. She came back over to our table and sure enough, smacked Dee in the face. Dee stood up calmly and gave her a single punch to the face and then sat back down, saying simply, "I told you I wasn't playing with you anymore, now please learn your lesson". Brooke stood up with a bleeding nose and bleeding mouth and talked trash--like the moron she apparently is--to Dee, saying shit about the tab Dee supposedly ran up on Brooke, calling her a 'bitch', a 'whore', stupid, etc. I sat there the whole time wondering if Brooke had a death wish. I mean, seriously! Why the hell do you continue to provoke someone who already showed you in one swift, effortless movement, that she is sick and tired of you? We left shortly after with Brooke still talking a load of smack.
Great night. I *love* stupid people, I promise.
My final thought for this post...Ashlee, when did Clinton run for President and lose? He won in '92 and '96 and before that Dukakis was the candidate for the Democratic ticket in '88 and so on. Please enlighten me if I'm wrong but I don't think Clinton ran for President before the two times that he won. Thanks! :)
Saturday, November 17, 2001
As you all know, Bill Clinton was the 42nd (former) president of the United States. Actually, Bill isn't Bill Clintons real name. It is, William Jefferson Blythe. His father died in a tragic car crash three months before William was born. His mother remarried, and his name was Roger Clinton. Roger adopted young william (surname Bill) whose last name took on his Step fathers which was Clinton. So, Bill Clinton became interested in politics when he was sixteen after he met President J.F.K. After a series of studies at several schools, he went to Yale's law school which was where he graduated from and met the love of his life, Hillary Rodham. They eventually married and had a daughter named Chelsea. I will skip the political aspect of his life, because as we all know, he first ran for president, he lost.. he tried again, he won... then, he got re-elected. Now, lets take a look of this evenings interview with Bill Clinton.
Shlee: State your name and occupation.
Bill Clinton: My name is Bill Clinton, and I am an employee at McDonalds.
Shlee: Couldn't you get a better job, due to your past experiences?
Bill Clinton: mmmmmm, my experiences... *chuckles*
Shlee: Is this work related?
Bill Clinton: Oh... in that case... Hillary wouldn't let me get a job in an office.
Shlee: Okay. Anyway, how was it like being president?
Bill Clinton: It was the high life... I had the money.. and the women. There are certain aspects of that job that I will certainly miss. Like the unlimited supply of cigars.
Shlee: Speaking of cigars.... why did you use a cigar?
Bill Clinton: It was the only available thing present. I told you Miss Smith, I have an unlimited supply of cigars. Want one, one day?
Shlee: No thank you. Is it true that you used a cigar because you, "can't get it up and keep it up?"
Bill Clinton: Answer this question, How would you feel having your sex life broadcasted on CNN.
Shlee: HEY... who is the one interviewing who now? Answer the damn question.
Bill Clinton: Keep in mind how old I am. I'm 55... I don't have the speed of a 17 year old anymore.
Shlee: I think we are all glad of that fact.
Bill Clinton: What do you think of older men?
Shlee: For one, I don't think anything of older men, except for the fact that they make good grandpas. Anyway, I'm starting to not like this interview. I thought you would be more professional than this.. you are the weakest link.... good bye.
Friday, November 16, 2001
Look at them enjoying themselves so much while doing something like looking at cards of indian actors and actresses, cause the taliban had banned movies, music, women and pretty much anything other than beards and praying. Daaamn they just are SO happy! And all crowding around like that.... geez over here we just take things for granted, you see cards like that floating in shit-infested ditches over here. But these guys are crowding around them like little kids with pokemon cards, cause they haven't seen them for YEARS! Fuck! Now seeing shit like this is just another reasurance that there just may be hope left for this world.
Thursday, November 15, 2001
Tonight I worked at Kernels from 5 - 9:30. I would consider it to be a fairly interesting shift. I got to work over an hour by myself running the joint. It started out good because the mall seemed dead. But then, after noting that I had one customer right after the other. I needed to pop 3 big bags of air popped popcorn, but I only had time to do 2! She walked by and was like, "You haven't popped your three yet????" She seemed almost shocked... -whatever. Anyway, she left and I was by myself again. I had these two bratty children come up to the counter and they asked for samples, then they left. Afterwards, my ex boyfriends brother comes up to me and starts talking to me. (he is sort of an old friend now I guess... due to the whole dating fall out w/his brother) Okay.. we chat he leaves.. that was so awkward. Then!!!!!!!! Some lady comes up to me and says, "I want a wild buffalo wings, salt and vinegar, and white cheese." Naturally, I reply, what size bag would you like? She says that she wants to have them in the seasoning jars! SEASONING JARS!?!!!?!? eep! That was the only thing my boss did NOT teach me. I was so stressed out.. I was looking for the cannisters, but I could not find them. So, then the lady takes this display thingy and says here, these ones are empty can you fill them up for me now? She was getting really impatient. I was a bit distressed... and just when I thought I wouldn't be able to ring them in... my boss comes and pulls out the PLU numbers for them, and shows me how to give the buy 2 get 1 half price. The tension is slowly relieved and my brain swelling starts to reduce. *sigh* I told her that it was a very stressful situation that I was in because the woman was really getting upset that I wasn't getting the concept of filling up a little jar. LOL (I make myself sound so moronic... but it's true. I made such a mess filling them up... I tapped them down... and topped it up, but then when she got it, she banged it down even more, and said fill it up higher... are you trying to rip me off??? I was a bit nervous about that... because, I didn't mean to! I did my job as good as I knew how to.
I met a cool person today though, he and his male friend (LoL) came up to the counter, and they had crickets with them... they were telling me about their pet which eats crickets! LOL! And, he kept talking and talking... and wow! I've never talked so much to a strange but cool man.
I forgot to tell you about those bratty kids... well, they came back before that woman wanting the shakers... and they pretended they were going to buy something.. so they asked for more samples... and then I gave them their samples like a FOOL.. LoL, and then they turned to me and said, "naw... I don't think I want popcorn anymore... maybe I'll get some icecream now"... what a bunch of little amebas!!!!!!!!
Wow! My day was good again, but not as good as yesterdays. I finished all of my art projects. (almost... I still get to hand some in tomorrow) I had this huge project where you have to make a box and bag out of paper/cardboard. You also have to have logos that represent a company. Well, mine took me 5 mins per logo... I took rainbow coloured paints, and blended them together.. and took black and quickly wrote, "rainbow toys"... painted a few toys... Then I blow dried them. They looked so good, but, he took off 35% for doing it the last day and not putting a lot of time into the thought of what my thing was going to be. "a genuine crap job"
BAD SIDE OF MY DAY... you know that linkin park raffle that I am sitting out side of the office every lunch hour to sell tickets for? Well, Debbie called me today... "It's canceled.. Linkin Park doesn't want to do press anymore". Refunds will be easy... we only sold like 24 tickets... but it's the fact that she couldn't find out sooner... and she left it so last minute to find out if it was really on or not. She expected to sell 200 tickets at $1.oo per ticket... I'd say it was a real blow out... a blow out of the ass for her... that's for sure. So, that means... I won't be meeting linkin park on Sunday. My weekend is almost free... but, I work from 9-5 on Saturday. (btw, if you are blonde, it's MiKEs b/day on SATURDAY.. don't forget it or I will personally kick ur butt!
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
Due to the reason I am officially grounded yet again. My brother and I got into a major fight, and the one who started it was the one who got in no trouble. Go figure. So, the sentencing of this grounding is no internet or computer... I'm not sure whether or not I'm aloud 'going out' yet. I will probably be spending my evenings, or free time in a library. So, perhaps I will get my postings done there and my homework.
Isn't it weird how you are having the best day ever, and it even gets better. (Becoming part of the staff made my best day better today) But, a good day can change into a horrible day so quickly that it is almost mind boggling. Why does life have to be so unpredictable?
Anyway, I will get off the depressing topic of life. I will move on to more important things like what I'll be doing tomorrow, since you all should know what I did today if you read the posts. Tomorrow, I am stuck selling raffle tickets first thing in the morning for dry grad. (My mom is turning into a Debbie again) and then I am stuck selling grad raffle tickets tomorrow at lunch. I hate ripping people off. It's like those dumb lotteries... they are such a scam... right Mc Rae? (sorry you didn't win big time...) Afterwards, I will be tackling all of the art projects I owe my art teacher. (mark cut off is tomorrow) Our next art project is oil painting on canvas. When I get my film developed I will post the picture of my 3D work that was painted and is in the art display case. Tomorrow I also get to go work at Kernels popcorn from 5 - 9:30PM (surrey place mall) I probably won't have any fun, but that is life. Who said work is fun? After work, I will probably be either sleeping or doing homework. I don't think I will be on the computer at all tomorrow. I am very sorry, and you all will be missed greatly. :(
OMG... can you believe it? My brother gets his own f*cking computer and I don't. What a little leach.
Monday, November 12, 2001
First of all it was Eric's birthday on Friday. Me, MC Rae, Diego, Sara, and Van Egdom himself went downtown to the Keg. The objective was simple: get Eric as fucking intoxicated as possible. Well, we bought him a few drinks with enough alcohol content to kill a large animal, and as the night went on he became more and more drunk. Listen to the following clip of him trying to play a name game with Diego. It's quite funny, especially at the very end.
Eric being drunk.mp3 (2 MB)
After the Keg on the way home. Now this is fucking priceless. At the Skytrain stop closest to my house, there are two buses that go right by my house. Well we got off the skytrain and saw one of the buses leaving. "Oh shit" the buses come every half an hour, but there was still the other one. Going down the stairs we see the other one leaving right after the first one! What the fuck! What's the point of two buses leaving for the same place at nearly the same time! Sock cuckers!!
So we walked all the way home, blew up a sewer with a firecracker, lit numerous matches, and nearly froze to death.
The next day, I finally got to meet Ashlee, who runs the site www.popyoularity.com with her friend. She is SO fucking hot! We went bowling. It was me, Ashlee, MC Rae, Brett, The Platypus, and Chantel. We didn't go to Excalibur because, as MC Rae says, "it fucking sucks"!! Well the bowling place we went to had a different style of bowling, so I totally sucked. I did get one strike though, but when it showed my name on the screen, The Platypus had changed it to "Monkey". That was pretty funny. Haw haw!
So after bowling we stopped by the local liquor store and bought some booze, and went over to my place. Ashlee had to go home so after attacking MC Rae and throwing him into the chair, she left, and then we started drinking. Well, only me and the Platypus got really wasted. I drank half a 40 of rum and a bunch of beer, so I was just gone. I remember a few things from that night, like The Platypus raping anything that moved (as usual), the infamous Huppe chair beating up the Platypus, Brett and MC Rae laughing at at me being so drunk, and other stuff that really don't make sense.
Then I threw up.
Well the story goes, I was sitting in the Huppe chair semi-conscious, and I looked like I was gonna puke. The Platypus tried to give me a coke cup th throw up into, but I just dropped it on the floor. Then MC Rae said that I had a big smile on my face, and I suddenly went "UURRLLLAAAAAHHH" across the room. Witnesses said that the puke came out of my mouth in a parabolic arc, and landed on the floor right in front of me. Then I threw up again, and everyone was totally laughing.
The next morning, I woke up. The lights were on, my room was trashed, and there was puke all over the place! I was like "huh" and for once I actually had some slight hangover! On my computer screen there was like 50 messages from people saying "OH MY GOD" and "WHAT THE HELL"... apparently they had watched the whole thing on my webcams, because they were broadcasting the party live! Holy shit! Of course I don't have any pics of this, but did anyone who was watching the webcam save any? I'd really like to see them!
Then I found out that almost the whole thing was videotaped! Oh my god! I watched it and it cracked me up how screwed up I was! It was hilarious! But now, I have to find a way to clean my carpet, exorcise all the puke out of the Huppe chair, and clean up my room. Blah!
And that was my rant for the week, anyways we're still looking for new staff members so this place isn't dead during the week! Just email me or make a post on the messageboard.
Friday, November 09, 2001
I have the attention span of a gnat right now. Can't you tell?
One of the warnings on the label for my medication says "this drug may make it hazardous to drive or operate heavy machinery..." and then something about waiting until you get used to the effects. Yeah, so on the sample pack, which is what I started with before the prescription got filled, didn't say that anywhere. I had spent 3 days wondering why I had become such a moron on the road. It's really hard to focus. The other day, I sneezed and flew off into a ditch. I made Heather (my friend) drive after that.
I'm a boring individual. Move along, move along.
Monday, November 05, 2001
Every now and then I'm gonna post a one of my posts that was really good, but no one would have ever seen it cause it's now buried in the depths of the archives and no one ever dares to venture there! From a few months ago when some loser attacked our message board:
THE MESSAGEBOARD WAR
Some fucker on the message board dissed us, and this is what he/she/it said:
hahaha, put a dent in my skull sissies, i aint gonna sign your fuckin guestbook, why you ask? cuz yer all fags, donkey raping shit eaters!!!! tell you what, if you actually have the sack to respond, or for that matter post this shit, ill send you an address, and you can come "put a dent in my skull" ill be waitin......
Then my reply:
What we have here is a fine example of what happens when retards are bred with monkeys. Sir, your farts smell like fish, you masterbate to pictures of your parents wedding, you give your little sister ATD's (Anal Tongue Darts), you suck your dog off, your dad rapes you with a shovel, your grandpa rapes you with his semen-crusted cane, and your mom rapes you with that frozen fish she always has stuck halfway up her ass.
Because your mom has not tits cause she was once a man (she couldn't afford to get the FULL sex change operation) she got your dad to cram his dick in your mouth... but I guess it was a little too big and it shot a load of semen into your brain cavity, which is now your brain. Thus causing your fucking lameness. So now you know.
Have a nice day!
And then MC Rae's reply:
Studies have shown that individuals with that IP address have extremely small genitals
Now that's fucking classic!! See I tell you, post in the fucking message board, it's quite hilarious in there.
Friday, November 02, 2001
Till next time kiddies......