Tuesday, January 29, 2002

Here's a post I posted a long time ago while I was working in construction. I just thought I'd post it again cause it's one of my favorites and it was posted way back when not many people were experiencing the wonderfullness of this site!

OH MY FUCKING GOD... at work it smells like someone shit in the underground parking!! Jesus it's really dark in there too and tonight I am gonna have brutal nightmares of me walking in there and stepping on this massive brown coiler, which will bite my foot off and then I'll wake up and realize that I shit myself having a shitty dream like that! Why the hell would somone shit in the underground parking? There's rats there the size of fucking possums! You can't even take a piss in there without a rat jumping up and swinging off your dangler for fun.

Then, I look at the jiffy johns. Most people actually fear the moment when they realize "Oh oh... I have to pinch a sizeable loaf", except there's no actual toilet around, just a portable potty filled to the top with feces (and other assorted.... feces). Seriously, I will never shit into a jiffy john for as long as I live... just open the lid and look in!! Mountains of different colored turds that if you look at them long enough, you'll swear that some of them are moving. Hell, if your asshole sees a sight like that it will probably close up and you'll never shit again, you'll just get fatter and fatter and smell more and more like shit... I think I now realize that some people would rather squat in the parking lot and lay a big steamer while rats jump up and bite their nuts.

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