Tuesday, May 28, 2002

wow you ppl are weird

Monday, May 27, 2002

Yay!! I got a fansign from Karyn!!



If you're wondering what the hell that means, it's from this really REALLY funny song that Karyn got me listening to. It's called "Wonderboy" by Tenacious D, and you can download it here:
Tenacious D - Wonderboy.mp3 (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!)

And here's another hilarious song by them that I'm also addicted to:
Tenacious D - Tribute.mp3 (ALSO HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!)

I gotta put a fan sign seection up for all the signs I get. I believe I have like 6 or 7 from people right now, so that's not too bad to start off with!

(9 more days!)
STAR WARS EPISODE 2 Review


Last night I went to see Star Wars: Episode 2.

Now, when I go to watch a movie, acting and dialogue aren't that important to me. As long as it tells a story and doesn't bore me into unconsciousness, I look past the bad acting and dialogue and enjoy the movie itself as a whole.

Episode 2, on the other hand, has such bad acting that it almost feels like it's coming off the screen and punching you in the face. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN CANNOT FUCKING ACT!!! Holy fuck whenever he said anything I cringed in pain, they might as well have cast a fucking shovel to play the role of Anakin Skywalker, it would probably show more emotion!!! JESUS CHRIST!!! Everyone else's acting wasn't as horrible, but this is probably the first time that bad acting has ever really gotten to me.

The dialogue is unbelieveably good. Good at being FUCKING RETARDED that is. Some of it was so bad that I wanted to track down George Lucas and piss in his eye for making me sit through 2 and a half hours with sentences using the worst possible combination of words imaginable. Like, the things that are said in that movie, you just have to wonder if the dialogue was INTENTIONALLY written that bad, because I just can't imagine anyone writing such shit by accident. Good example, "Get him dad, get him." Owww. Yeah, Boba Fett as a kid is in this movie. Gee I never expected him to look like a pudgy kid with down's syndrome.

Now, to focus on the good parts about this movie (there's a lot more good than bad, did you even expect that?).

Special effects will induce a creaming of the pants. I guarantee that. Every frame of this movie looks like a masterpiece, with fucking amazing backgrounds, cities, deserts, etc. The ships all looks great, there's not much that looks fake in this movie (with the exceeption of Amidala rolling out of that mold jar thingy, for some reason it looks REALLY fake). Oh and Anakin when he's riding that speeder thingy on Tatooine, ok when you're going THAT FUCKING FAST without a windshield in front of your face, won't the air resistance turn your face inside-out?!?! But nooo... his hair and clothes are fluttering like in a light breeze, as if he's riding a fucking horse or something! What about all the flying bugs that would hit him at that speed? Haha I could imagine him peeling a layer of dead bugs off his face after getting off the speeder.

The action in this movie is great. This is one hell of an action packed movie. It does have some long chick-flick scenes that start to get a little long, but the last quarter of the movie is just one really fucking kickass WAR. You get to see Yoda fight in this movie, and it is SO fucking sweet! HOLY SHIT that was one excellent battle. People in the theater started laughing when he drew his lightsaber, but one he started using it.... ohhhh man just go see it, fuck. Anyways this movie is a lot better than The Phantom Menace. Looks like George Lucas learned at least few lessons from that train wreck of a movie.

JAR JAR IS GONE!!! His total time on screen in the entire movie is maybe like... 5 minutes? Looks like I didn't need that brick I brought to the theater to hit my head against whenever he said something stupid. Or fill up on water so I could piss on the screen whenever he did something stupid.

Anyways, I enjoyed this movie. THe bad acting and dialogue sorta fucked it up a bit, but it was still a fun movie to watch. It did have that feeling of adventure that the original trilogy had. So go check it out while it's playing in theaters, seeing it on DVD just won't do!
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Haha that is so true!

Sunday, May 26, 2002

I went to the flea market today. It started raining right when I got there, and everywhere I looked people had covered the stuff they were selling with tarps so it wouldn't get wet, and it was impossible to see what the fuck they were selling. HOLY SHIT SUPERTARDS!! At least use see-through tarps!! I don't have fucking X-ray vision here! Then there were the retards who left all the stuff they were selling in the rain, this one guy had TV's, stereos, computer junk, all sitting there soaking wet! He was selling a webcam for $20, when I picked it up WATER FUCKING POURED OUT OF IT!!! I'm like what the fuck and he sold it to me for 10 bucks. I'm still trying to get the piece of shit to work, after spending half an hour with it all taken apart BLOWDRYING THE FUCK OUT OF IT. Oh well, if it doesn't work it has a long enough cord, I could always swing it around and hit stupid people with it.

My medication isn't working... well, except for the side-effects, I can definitely feel those! I heard it takes a couple of weeks to kick in, so I guess until then I'm gonna feel like the room is tilting over all the time. Weee, in a not so fun kinda way!

PLUGS:

www.nancy-land.com - She signed the guestbook! That automatically makes her cool in my book. Click on that link to check out a nice-looking site by a pretty hot girl.

Karyn - Her site is back!!! YAY!!! I haunt the tagboard there. Oh yeah, vote for her too!

www.uglykid.tk - Mike (Mya's bf) is in need of some hosting for his new site!

Natalie - OH MY GOD I just realized that I don't have Nat's site linked on here!! I'm such a tard, the local links badly need to be updated. I'll get on that faster than on a sheep.

10 more days sockcuckers!!!
Success is ...

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

Saturday, May 25, 2002

*shes walks with the shadows of the frail memorys of slurreys past days she pops up upon occasion to rear her feared presance she is the darkness she is the future ruler of SLURREY*


soon my prettys soon.

ps. mikey please make a new layout =o)
School's finally over for me! FUCK YEAH.

I finally went to the doctor. He thinks I'm a nutcase. It's pretty funny, cause I think my doctor is a nutcase, and a nutcase thinking I'm a nutcase doesn't really say much. Now I'm taking anti-depressant shit, which I'm pretty sure is a waste of time.

11 more days and I'm outta here! (yeah, this is a countdown)

Thursday, May 23, 2002

So I've been busy lately. LICK ME!!

(Note: Try clicking on the picture... it may just take you to a wonderful new world!)
I have nothing interesting to say. Noone ever does. I'm bored of the internet, and it's not helping to have Slurrey become a totally local thing. Well, Now that Carly is leaving town and moving to Calgary I suspect I'll get even more left out and bored of this site than I already am. So goodbye Slurrey. Have a good time. I'm leaving, and don't ask me to come back. It's been fun, and I might miss some of you but... um yeah whatever. So bye. Noone seems to care anymore. The only posts that get replied to here and on the message board are of people talking about daily Surrey things, or about field trips, which are all generally getting wasted, which I have no problem with but face it, kinda boring for those of us who live like out of the loop. So... ciao have fun kids. Love yaz ;) bye.

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Whilst on the subject of MSN names, I saw two people on my MSN list who know each other, and both their names were similar but opposite of each other's. So I thought I'd join in this crazy name game... but how?? Well, can you guess which MSN name is mine?


You guessed right!!!


Anyways I'm freezing my ass off here cause my window is open. I have to air my room out after NEARLY FUCKING BURNING IT DOWN!!!
Note to self: "Boredom and lighters do not mix indoors."

That was a MiKE original quote. Goodnight futhermuckers!!!
I just got my passport, in exactly 2 weeks I'm fuckin outta here!
WHO'S GONNA MISS ME?!?!
... *crickets chirping*
DAMN RIGHT!!

I got a fortune cookie today, cracked it open, and there was nothing in it!! What the fuck damnit? Aren't I supposed to get a little piece of paper in these thingies telling me I'm gonna die in a freak accident after an intimate encounter with a vaccum goes horribly wrong? I want my fucking fortune! What's the point of having a fortune cookie if there's no fortune in it? Wouldn't it just be called a cookie then? They sure as hell don't look like cookies... more like alien genitals. And they probably taste like them too.

Ugh it's still pissing me off that I didn't get my fortune. Did someone sue the chinese restaurant cause they accidentally ate the thing with the paper still inside? I wouldn't doubt it, with all the stupid fucking idiots in the world today. I ought to take this fortune(-less) cookie back and demand a refund! Damnit! But I ate the fucking thing :(

Go and give a hug to Mya!!!

Karyn took her site down. I'm really gonna miss her long-ass updates, and her layout changes that happened more frequently than her long-ass updates!

Guess what Sarah's new URL is? www.spaceburn.org!!! I told her about MyDomain, a free DNS hosting service. You also get a free email account @yoursite.com with it too.
Cowabunghole!

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Ever have one of those REALLY REALLY BAD FUCKING MORNINGS?!?! (see post below)... I was thinking, with a morning like this, DAMN this day is gonna suck. But then things got really weird... in a good way!!!

The math final I was sure I was gonna fail... I dunno what the fuck happened. Last night I really gave up on studying for it cause I just couldn't concentrate, I thought I'd get at most 30%. Maybe it was the Smirnoff Ice I drank right before running to the nearest bus stop (it was the only thing in the fucking house to drink, other than tap water). But when I wrote that fucking exam... it was like my brain was working for the first time in 19 years (took long enough stupid brain). It all just clicked! Like, all the shit that I just couldn't understand while I was studying, all made sense when I was doing it on the final! It was not an easy final exam by any means, but I was shocked at what happened! Fucking hell I sure kinda got off easy this time!

So did I pass? Yeah I definitely think so. Did I pass the course? Probably not, since I needed 70% on the final to pass it, and while it is possible that I got over 70%, that would just be pushing my luck WAY too far, wouldn't it? Besides, there's always next year!

Did you know that the word "help" is not allowed in your MSN screen name? What the fuck?? You know that the people working at microsoft use all the money they make to pay for the FUCKING CRACK THEY SMOKE when they censor the word "help" but... the word "shit" is perfectly fine!!
Guess how much of a fucking retard I am!!!

Last night I went for a drive, and when I came back home I must have left the lights on or something, cause this morning when I tried to start the van up the battery was fucking dead. I was only going to the store to get something to drink, but still I was like shit, in 2 hours I have a final exam to fail! So what do I do? I get out of the van, go into my house to get my stuff and call a taxi, but then the familiar feeling of "oh shit" came over me as I realized I had locked my keys in the van! After yelling out an obscenity that could be heard all around Surrey and caused all the wildlife within 2 miles of my house to scurry away in horror, I manage to break into my own house. Quite literally I meant break cause now I have to pay for a new.. umm... thingy (I don't want any of you fuckers knowing how to break into my house!). So yeah, at least this is gonna make failing my math final seem a lot less shitty.

Speaking of that, I now have to run to the nearest bus stop, which is a good long run away! Cya later futhermucking sockcuckers!

Monday, May 20, 2002

i want cake. very very badly i want chocolate cake so my mom PROMISED to take me for some when we go to get groceries. she then decides we cant go because we're waiting for the phone call about the house..... and yeah.... so now she fucking deciees to go to sleep. well she cant wait for the phone if shes asleep now CAN she?! NO! so i dont get my fucking cake and im bitchy.

you dont EVER get between me and chocolate cake. EVER.

Every time the phone rings i nearly jump out of my skin... is this normal?
ps mike... its Vecepia
Veceidcoaodoeoocosia(can't spell her damn name) won Survivor last night! Who would have known? Well, she's stepped on a lot of heads and fucked a lot of people in the ass to win that money!! Well hey, Neleh isn't so damn innocent either. I thought Neleh would DEFINITELY win... she even has her own fucking THEME SONG for christ's sakes!! I loved it when Tammy bitched them out though... I mean, it must be pretty hard to keep a straight face when someone whose nose is growing SIDEWAYS out of their fucking face is yelling at you! And oh my at New York live, Neleh looked pretty hot, but that was nothing in comparison how Kathy looked. Holy shit!!!!!!! She went from looking like some gross wild animal that not even a gorilla would fuck, to a fucking MILF!!!

I haven't laughed so hard at my TV for a while. Last night's finale was absolutely hilarious!! It had the ever-present closeup of each contestant's worried-looking face during the voting, it had the familiar flashbacks showing each one blinking in slow motion and doing something dramatic, it was such a fucking cornfest that I could pissed on the fucking TV screen and the piss would bounce right off it and hit me right in the face! The best part though, was when Jeff Probst (thanks Karyn) got on the helicopter, which flew him all the way from an island in the middle of nowhere to New York, and it dropped him off at some helicopter pad in some random place, and he WHISTLED FOR A FUCKING TAXI TO PICK HIM UP!!! Oh my god who wrote the script for this shit? Another example of extreme hilarity comes from when Jeff was in the helicopter, and it flew close to the Statue of Liberty. You could almost see the tears welling up in his face! The cornyness of that made me cringe. Oh the patriotism! Let's not forget that this is a show about 16 americans fucking each other over on TV for a measly million bucks!

It was an enjoyable show for everyone, if you weren't mesmerized by the depth and dramatic moments of the show, then you were probably laughing at them uncontrollably. Guess where Survivor 5 is going to take place? In some tropical rainforest with a whole bunch of ruins and crap. I don't really have a problem with that, other than the fact that IT LOOKS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME FOR ALL THE OTHER PLACES SURVIVOR HAS TAKEN PLACE AT!!! Fuck man, it's getting old. Why can't they do survivor in the Sahara desert? Or the north pole? Or even the fucking MOON?! It's called "Survivor" isn't it? Let's see those fuckers actually try to survive, instead of lying around doing fuck all and bickering at each other!

Everybody go to Karyn's site right now!!! She fucking rocks!

Sunday, May 19, 2002

I'm back motherfuckers!!! Did you miss me?!
Slurrey's been down for over a week now I think, I got fed up with all the bullshit that's been going around! But you know what? It's not even worth my time!
Anyways I had started making a new layout for this site, but I kinda didn't finish it! My HTML skills have gone a little rusty since I don't change my layout every other day! It looked a lot different than what slurrey looks like right now, more whiter, high-tech looking, and a tad easier to navigate. I might finish it sometime soon and put it up, but I'm almost too damn lazy to write about the fucking thing, and it's not much better than the layout up right now! So here's a screenshot of it, I guess this is probably the most you'll see of it in a really long time.


School is pretty much over for me, I have two final exams to write and that's it, school's done with. I'm hoping to survive math, since I need 70% to pass the final and I'm only comfortable with 60% or the material! I'll definitely be pulling an all-nighter on monday night. Then after math's done and over with, I have to master the language of SQL in only 2 days! I don't even know what the fuck "SQL" stands for! Uhhhhh.... help? I'm pretty damn sure I'll pass that though.

How does everyone like the comics? I didn't know I could draw that good on the computer, especially with a mouse that's accumulated so mych dust and shit on it's ball that half the time I move it the pointer on the screen moves in a different direction. It's kinda like using a computer while drunk, high, or severely retarded after watching all 4 Star Wars movies in a row. I've been thinking of starting a slurrey comic strip, about the E/N scene. Yeah you'll see comics like "Webpig jizzes on a 12 year old's boobless chest on Netmeeting: Episode 31" or "(insert camgirls name here) leaves the internet for a record-breaking 3 minutes!". It sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Well fuck, I hope not. I can just see people ripping it off before I even put the first comic up. Fucking knob-gobbling jism-inhalers!

Saturday, May 18, 2002

What I've learned From Watching a Porn Today:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with their muck.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there are two of them, they "high five" eachother (and the girl isn't disgusted).
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There is a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck their patients' cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches ... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking cock, it's important for the guy to remind her to "suck it."
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock in there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

CLIT

CLIT

CLIT

CLITS

CUNTS

CUNTS CUNTS

CUNTS CLITS

CLITS CUNTS

PUSSY

PUSSY CLIT CUNTS

PUSSY CLIT CUNTS SLITS

COCKS

PENIS

COCKS PENIS

COCKS BALLS

BALLS

BALLS CUNT

That's my poem!

Saturday, May 11, 2002

Friday, May 10, 2002

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and began a conversation.

Cowboy: "Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' good."

Indian is shocked...

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

Dog: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He lets me run free twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Indian has a look of total disbelief.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how are you ?"

Horse: "Good."

Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian

Horse: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me under a tree to protect me from the rain."

Indian stares in utter amazement.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep lie."
Oops, looks like my internet connection at home bit the dust. Until it's back (shouldn't be too long) some stuff on this site may not work.

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

Okay, this is a long start to a short little story, so don't let me loose you anywhere.

In psychology I learnt that when you go to sleep your motor switch gets turned off. (Also, some peoples switches stay on..... that is why some people sleepwalk, or sleep talk or do other weird sleepy thingies) Well, I guess my switch is half on half off at night because I was in the middle of an REM stage. (the REM stage is when you are dreaming and it is when your eyes are moving; rapid eye movement) Anyways, I was dreaming this... I woke up in this little dream to see a spider (the one from spiderman) and it was on my bed about to attack me. So, I guess this is where I wake up, but I'm not really awake. I panic and my arms fly into the window and dents the blinds, then I lift off 5 layers of blankets, leap out of bed, fall to the floor and scream. Damn, I'm sore right now. But, I hallucinated a spider or I dreamed it or something weird. It was funny I actually started looking for it too. I was very confused this morning. (and sore)
OMG OMG OMG SLURREY I MISSED YOU *HUGS SLURREY* IM BACK NOW EVERYTHINGS OK DONT CRY YAYE SLURREY.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

"it's like gilligans island, but with out the gilligan" -Ashlee

Monday, May 06, 2002

I was gonna put the pics of field trip #23, but thought nah fuck it.
Oh, irony. Not only am I doing a psychology project on depression, but in searching for depression websites, i've learned that most of them have seriously rainbowy design. What the hell!? Okay don't make the website depressing, but make it like not psychotically happy! Weird people man. I love BBQ Lays, so check out my webcam in staff cams, because i swear i found the biggest chip EVER. Cheers!

FIELD TRIP #22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



It was a sunny friday afternoon and me and Shlee hung out at Bear Creek park. We took pics of random people, us acting like little kids and playing on the playground, strange looking foliage that Shlee likes to call "flowers", more random people, Shlee pole dancing with anything that resembles a pole (including a memorial tree), a demented squirrel, a pile of dog shit (I thought I was supposed to take a pic of it but I was supposed to take a pic of the flowers by it haha!), and other stuff!! There's almost 100 pics in there, and a lot of them look really good (I didn't know my camera could take such good pictures in sunlight!). By the way in those pics I hadn't shaved in almost a week so I look a little skruffy. Rofl what the fuck!

Field trip #23 pics will be up tomorrow, but there's really not that many of them! That field trip was today when me Mya Eric and Sara went to see Spiderman. I'll be writing a review of that movie soon too!

Sunday, May 05, 2002

HEY! I got the "Barbie Magic Hair Styler" game and it's really kewl. Seriously.

Saturday, May 04, 2002

Little children get the best computer games. I mean I'd feel kinda silly playing "Barbie Super Sports" or "Barbie Beach Vacation" but hey, when I was growing up, if you wanted to play with a hot little plastic blonde you had to buy one, and play with her yourself, not some silly computer game. Jeez.



[ps im writing about this because i am babysitting. thats all]
I want to be fucked with lots and lots of sex toys. Big and small. Blue and Orange. Plastic and metal. Stick it in me. Where ever the fuck you want to fuck me. I don't care. Just doit. FUCK ME!!!!

Friday, May 03, 2002

Ashlee being punk (with the help of photoshop):
A few days ago my aquarium got infected with a tail rotting diesase and my expensive collection of fish all collapsed due to this infection. I was quite devastated, and I didn't get my essay done for my History class. Well, I get into lecture hall this morning and the professor is collecting the papers. I had absolutely nothing to hand in and this paper determines whether you pass or fail. (That's how much percent of the course this is worth) He walked past me and asked me where mine was, I explained to him my problem, and he just said to tell him after class. So, when the bell rang I went straight into his office. He told me to take a seat, so I did. He went on about how smart and beautiful I was and how he really wanted to see me pass his class and go on to my third year of studies. He sat down beside me and put his hand on my thigh. Then he told me that he could help me pass if I would take him up on his offer. I had a small feeling what that offer was, but I didn't know what to do. I mean, I did pay an exorbant amount to get this far. It would be such an ashame to have just screwed up my courses after getting here. I guess you can say I really sucked up to the teacher this time.
Flat Stomach

A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top
of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and
quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen,
she dress's quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks' "What were you and dad
doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy
and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"Your wasting your time." say's the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled?
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over
and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

Thursday, May 02, 2002

SURVIVORS READY!!!
Survivor MiKE: "no"

Just finished watching survivor. I don't know why some people hate that show so much. What the fuck is wrong with it. I happen to like watching people fuck with each other's minds. I get the feeling people don't like it cause other people don't like it. The fuck?

Maybe the show does have some repetitive parts, like at the tribal council how Jeff host says "once the votes are tallied the decision is final and that person will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately". Or when he goes to count the votes and the camera slowly zooms in on each person's worried face, man that's priceless. Yeah, the show has to keep a consistent feel to it or it just wouldn't sound right. If Jeff host (I can't spell his last name but I know it rhymes with host) says something like "once the votes are tallied one of you lucky fuckers gets off this shithole island" before he tallies the votes, man it just wouldn't sound right.

The show isn't that much predictable though. Just as I thought, byebye Tammy. Neleh sure is a braggy bitch though, as nice as she seems it appeared as though she required a shampoo bottle (half full please) flung directly at her head. She's fuckin cute.
It's funny how easily breakable a cd is when you accidentally step on it or run over it with your chair, but when you actually try to break one, they become indestructible little fuckers. And when they do break you're bleeding from all the fucking shrapnel that exploded from it!
I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK! I GET MY PUPPY BACK!

Maybe not for long, but still.... he's back for a little while at least. HOOOOORAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

IM SO HAPPY! -pees pants-
LOOK LOOK LOOK I HAVE MY OWN REAL BLOG ITS SO COOL AND IM SO PROUD OF MY SELF I EVEN MADE A NEW LINK BUTTON (MiKE PLEASE USE IT) OMG IM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW PAGE AHHHHHHHH

CLICK IT DAMNIT AND MARK YOUR TERITORY WHEN YOU GET THERE


*SQUEEL*