Wednesday, December 31, 2003

What resolution do you have your desktop set to?
Personally I can't stand anything less than 1280x1024. It bugs the fuck out of me because everything is so HUGE, it's like I'm in kindergarten or something.

As an experiment a while ago I tried setting my resolution to 320x240:

Thanks to Mya for linking my ass on Cam-mafia.

After not touching this site for a month, I need to start getting my hits back again.
HEY FUCKFACES, I AM BACK.

The last month or so was spent killing my assfucking final exams, working, and doing christmas in the poopchute. It's been a grand time, and the whole time I was unable to update slurrey due to my site's FTP being a cock-inhaler.

How shit, it SNEW last night like a big white jizm party. Val was over last night and when I tried to drive her home, my shit-colored raper van was performing figure skater moves on the roads. Nearly dying was entertaining, but since dying is not on my to-do list we headed back home and Vuv was stranded here. Hey, not like it's a bad thing... 0:)

Last time I checked I was supposed to be having a new years party at my house, but is anyone going to end up coming? There's almost a foot of snow outside my house. How many people are going to risk their lives going to my house, only to drink enough to risk their lives all over again?

Well, there's no way that this New Years is going to suck. I just bought a 128 MB smartmedia card for $20 (cdn!!), and I plan on FILLING the motherfucker with pictures tonight.

Fuck, it's still snowing! What do bible thumpers call snow?
"The coming of the lord."

Have a happy new year, but not happier than mine.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

For the next 5 days, I do not exist:
It's finals time.

Saturday, November 29, 2003

Christmas is coming up....

Anyone who has been readin slurrey for a while knows I have a wishlist. But unlike other people who have a cam, a website, and a wishlist, I don't advertise my wishlist all over my goddamn site.

Since christmas is coming soon, I thought I'd put my wishlist up.

So... buy me shit!

I don't think I'll get anything, but hey it's worth a shot. I'll add more stuff onto it later.

I'm still busy with school, so don't expect many updates for the next 2 weeks. I even had to stay all night at BCIT to get shit done, it was that bad.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Sorry that I've delayed this for so long. School has me firmly by the balls. And it will only get worse... way fucking worse until mid-december, when I finally get out for 3 weeks.

FIELD TRIP 62 - MiKE's BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!


While this year my birthday party wasn't as big as last years (around half the people ended up cancelling), it was just as fun, if not funner. Oh yeah, and here is the video I made from all the webcam pics that were taken that night! It's like a time lapse video of the entire party, from 7 pm until 3 am!


Click the image to download. It's 5 MB. You need divx.


Things I got for my birthday (in the order I got them in):
- 160 GB hard drive from my parents, now my computer has a total of 300 GB of space in it.
- A SLURREY.COM shirt and the Terminator 3 novel from Val ��
- A blowup sheep from Pat (it didn't last the night... we were too rough with it)
- A greek parking sign from Chad
- A giant COKE bottle full of candies from Sara
- A bottle of captain morgan's from Eric
- An excellent photo from Brendan
- A kickass shotglass from Susan
- $20 from my brother

Things that happened:
- the webcam was like until 3 am... it did stop a few times though.
- we showed Copside 3
- we dranks all sorts of wonderful alcoholic stuff (and some not-so-wonderful stuff... like the windex drink)
- we kicked the blowup sheep around my room.
- we went outside and kicked the blowup sheep around some more... then it broke :[
- my mom made a million different kinds of food, just like last year!
- I got really really drunk.
- we wore shirts around our heads like turbans, and danced to the TUNAK TUNAK music video.
- watched some funny flash movies I had never seen before, I'll never look at abortions the same way again :- Sara passed out somewhere.
- I got even more wasted.
- Val took care of me :) ��
- I sort of forgot to eat anything that night.
- Val slept over :]. I think we ended up spending around 30 hours together, including the next day!

Saturday, November 15, 2003

PARTY CAM TONIGHT!!!!!
This already happened :P


Well since I'm having my birthday party tonight, I'll be leaving the webcam on to capture all the crazy moments. Who knows, maybe this time another couple will lock themselves in my room and not realize that the webcam was on them... just like last year.

So if you have nothing better to do on a saturday night, click the link above and be entertained for hours. Nothing funner than sitting by yourself in front of a computer screen watching people get drunk and having fun!

I think my parents are getting me a 160 GB hard drive for my birthday. Score.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

How to decifer girl speak:

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguements.

Five Minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your hockey game is going to last before you do whatever it is she wants you to do.

Nothing: This means something. Be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to rip your face off. Nothing usually signifies an arguement that will last five minutes and end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): Translation: "I dare you." This will result in her getting mad over nothing and will end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (Normal Eyebrows): Translation: "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care." You will get a go ahead with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine. She will talk to you in about five minutes when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but it is still a verbal statement misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a moron at the moment and wonders why she's wasting her time arguing with you over nothing.

Soft Sigh: (Again, not a word, but you know...) She is content. Your best bet is not to talk or move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, well, I just talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says oh before any statement, run -- do not walk -- to the nearest exit.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. That's okay means that she wants to think long and hard before repaying you for whatever it is that you did wrong. You do not want to be there when that happends.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you the opportunity to come up with whatever lame-ass excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you've done. You have a fair change to tell the truth here. Be very careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay."

Thanks: She's thanking you. Don't feel faint, just say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a Lot: This longer phrase is not to be confused with thanks. She'll say "thanks a lot" when she's actually seriously peeved at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will generally be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, or she will say nothing and raise her eyebrows.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Ah, midterms are over. I did ok on most of them, though I know what to do with my algorithms midterm if I ever run out of toilet paper.

On thursday was the Dropkick Murphys concert, which fucking kicked my ass!! It was so much fun. Half of my Livejournal friends list was there!
Too bad the entire place smelled like fucking rot. It's like being in an elevator and everyone farting out a volume of gas equal to their own weight. It's not a good thing where you're drenched in sweat at a concert and none of it is yours....

I got pics from haloween which I'm going to put up soon. Not too much to show though, as it was too dark outside!!

And now, a photo made by Chad, who goes to SFU.



You know, I actually wish I could draw graffiti like that.

Speaking of BCIT, I managed to hook up a LIVE webcam into our Embedded Systems lab. Now you can all see what goes on in there, which isn't much. I thought it was a good idea, and maybe now I'll find out who the fuck is leavinjg shit like papers and pop cans on my desk!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Hey

I'm still alive. Kinda.
Exams are almost done, I'll post something when I have the time to.

Monday, October 06, 2003

You know you're a BCIT Computer Systems student when you're wondering if it's possible to make a noose out of an ethernet cable.
Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?


A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.


Q: But the UN inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.


A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.


Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?


A: Yes. Invasions always work better than inspections.


Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?


A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, the occupying forces will find something, probably right before the 2004 election.


Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?


A: To use them in a war against their enemies, silly.


Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when the US and Britain went to war against them?


A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so in order to confuse us they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves by using any of the weapons of mass destruction.


Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?


A: Iraq is in the Middle East. It's a totally different culture. It's not supposed to make any sense to us in the West.


Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons President Bush said they did.


A: Well, you know, it doesn't really matter whether or not they had weapons of mass destruction. President Bush had another good reason to launch a preemptive strike against Iraq anyway.


Q: And what was that?


A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel and vicious dictator, which is another good reason to invade his country.


Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it okay to invade his country?


A: Well, for one thing, he tortured and killed his own people.


Q: Kind of like what they do in China?


A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic partner, where millions of people work for low wages in sweatshops to help US corporations achieve a high-profit margin. That helps all Americans.


Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures and kills its own people?


A: Right.


Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured and killed?


A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured or killed.


Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?


A: I told you, China is different.


Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?


A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is a Communist country.


Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?


A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.


Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?


A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.


Q: Like in Iraq?


A: Exactly.


Q: And like in China, too?


A: I told you, China's a good economic partner. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.


Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic partner?


A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being good capitalists like us.


Q: But if we repealed those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?


A: Don't be a smart-ass.


Q: I didn't think I was being one.


A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.


Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?


A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.


Q: What's a military coup?


A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.


Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?


A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Yes, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.


Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?


A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.


Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?


A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend because he helped us invade Afghanistan and supported our invasion of Iraq. In fact, just this week the US gave him several million dollars in foreign aid as a 'thank you' for being part of the Coalition of the Willing.


Q: Why did the US invade Afghanistan?


A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.


Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?


A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men -- fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, killing over 3,000 Americans.


Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?


A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.


Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chop off people's heads and hands?


A: Yes, that's exactly who they are. Not only do they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppress women, too.


Q: But didn't President Bush give the Taliban $43 million in foreign aid in May 2001?


A: Yes, but that money was a reward because the Taliban did such a good job fighting drug smuggling.


Q: Fighting drugs? The Taliban helped with the US war on drugs?


A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.


Q: How did they do such a good job?


A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.


Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was okay, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?


A: Exactly. It's okay with President Bush if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing the wrong kind of flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.


Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?


A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.


Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?


A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.


Q: What's the difference?


A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.


Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.


A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.


Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.


A: Yes, but they were trained in Afghanistan.


Q: Who trained them?


A: An evil man named Osama bin Laden.


Q: Was he from Afghanistan?


A: No, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.


Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.


A: Yes, when the US helped Osama and the Mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.


Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?


A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.


Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?


A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either. None of the three would join the Coalition of Willing.


Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?


A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough, for example, that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.


Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?


A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.


Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?


A: Well, yes. For a while.


Q: Was Saddam Hussein the ruler of Iraq back then?


A: Yes, but at the time Saddam was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend.


Q: Why did that make him our friend?


A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.


Q: Isn't that when Saddam gassed the Kurds and killed them by the thousands?


A: Yes, but since Saddam was fighting against Iran, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.


Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?


A: Most of the time, yes.


Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically our enemy?


A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American munitions companies can profit by selling weapons to both sides while the US manages not get involved in the conflict, then that is even better.


Q: Why?


A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is always on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?


Q: I think so. We attacked Iraq because God wanted us to. Is that correct?


A: Yes.


Q: But how do we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?


A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to President George W. Bush and advises him what to do.


Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because the president hears voices?


A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, and go to sleep. Good night.


Q: Good night, Daddy

Monday, September 29, 2003

Shiggity shiggity shwaaaa...
Haven't updated good ole slurrey for a while!

I finally got my new laptop battery!

Now my laptop can actually BE A FUCKING LAPTOP! I can TAKE IT PLACES without having to plug it in... cause my new battery ACTUALLY HOLDS A CHARGE! Holy shit batman!

I'll update this later when my computer monitor doesn't make my face feel like it's burning off :�

Thursday, September 25, 2003

A couple nights ago, someone shit themselves at my work....

Yea, I think its time for a new job.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
hey mike do you think im hot and sexy

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does your gf fuck better than your vcr

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does she have a pause button

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you smash her reel good if she starts eating your tape

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you have lots of webcam pictures of your ass

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you have to shave the thick layers of greek fur off of it

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does the camera break when you try to stick it in your vcr

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does it ever ask 4 milk and cookies

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you ever feed it milk and cookies

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do greek people celebrate cristmas

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you poison santas milk and cookies 4 breaking in to your house and eating your milk and cookies

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you think rudolph is hung

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
have you ever seen him get it on with your vcr

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does your vcr ever tell you to kill

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
kill what your cpu

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does your cpu ever tell you to kill

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
kill

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
kill

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
kill

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
KILL
KILL
KILL!
KILL!
KILL!

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
is that your cpu enough for you

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you have one cock ring to rule them all

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does your hobbit have it

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
did you GIVE itto him

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
do you like to do the monkey

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
is your monkey funkey

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! I Need Some More! says:
does he like to do the monkey

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Yeah I'm going to start posting in here daily about my misadventures at BCIT. Maybe I'll get my hits back, they've gotten pretty low since I haven't posted all summer.
Lately I've been having massive headaches again. Now they're really bad, it's like my brain is trying to claw itself out of my skull or something. "ESCAPE!!!!!!" it seems to be screaming.

For some odd reason, I blame BCIT for these headaches.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Licker of std-infected sack.

This year at BCIT is going to suck various types of balls. My goddamn tuition is up $30%. I bet it all went into building that ugly fucking blue thing at the front entrance. Anyways -$2100 means I probably can't afford to pay next semester's money. And that means I'll have to borrow money, something I can't stand doing.

I'm in embedded systems. Doesn't seem like too bad of an option, other than the fact that I don't know a single fucking person in there except for Shao or Matt. The first assignment is pretty tough too, I'm trying to program it in a language I haven't touched for over 2 years. Shit, everyone's breezing through it and I'm sitting there harassing the guy next to me asking how to do something retarded like make a button transparent.

On the way to school today I was stuck in traffic for 20 minutes because people don't know how to drive. You'd think that driver's licenses came in goddamn cereal boxes or something.

I also had algorithms today. Fuck. Any course that involves backwards E's and upside-down A's as parts of unreadable formulas.... I know I'm not going to do too well in. And the instructor is mentioning this discrete math stuff like we totally know it 100%, hey I took discrete math 2 years ago too, I don't know what induction is. When I heard "Big Oh Notation" I said a big "Oh Shit" because I don't remember a thing about it except for the fact that I had plenty of trouble understanding it.

ELEX is basically a course where we type random numbers and addresses into a computer and make little lights on a circuit board light up. The excitement was killing me. It has potential to be fun though, if I ever understand what I'm doing.

Today on the way home, I got to wait for half an hour in the pouring rain for the bus to come. About 3 of them came, but the lineup was so long that it took me forever to actually get on one.

Fuck, for all those environmental-freaks who encourage people to take the bus instead of driving... GO HUG A TREE!!! THEN STICK IT FULLY UP YOUR ASS, SIDEWAYS!!! The more people who drive their asses to work, the less chance I have waiting in a 2 kilometer long lineup for a bus, while good ole mother nature pisses all over me.

When I got home, I decided to install a new audio cable inside my computer. That resulted in me slicing my finger open and bleeding all over the place. It was almost as bad as "revenge of the printer", when I was throwing around a printer last year and a jagged piece of the plastic caught on to my pinkie as I was throwing it. Needless to say a nicely sized chunk of my finger went along with it.

Oh yeah, our movie, Copside 3, is pretty much done, except for some minor stuff we will film on saturday! The movie itself will be 100% finished next wednesday, or at least I hope so. Then we can have the premiere and everyone can see this fucking masterpiece.

PS I love you Val <3 <3 <4 <7

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Well, we're done filming all the major scenes of Copside 3!
Only some touch up filming and we're ready to show it to everyone.

Oh yeah, comments will be back soon. And hopefully I can figure out a way to speed up the loading of this page.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

PARTY AT THE PATMEISTERS!

THAAAAATS RIGHT! PARTY AT THE PATMEISTERS!

Friday the 29th yo! Everyone invited, BYOB.

Starts at like 7ish.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Why the FUCK does my URL not work.
I want to fuck my DNS server in the ASS... provided it HAS one.

QUEEF-HUFFING DICK-CHOMPING GODDAMN SHITFUCK.

Friday, August 15, 2003

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT�


By Rod Hilton


FADE IN:

INT. VETERINARY CLINIC

NICK STAHL breaks into a veterinary clinic and starts doing
DRUGS

NICK STAHL (V.O.)
My narration, much like the rest of
this film, will hurried and awkward
in execution in stark contrast to
the well-paced, deliberateness of
the previous film.
(pause)
Anyway, I'm a drifter now. That
whole military leader thing never
worked out and I didn't know how to
do anything else. Oh, and I do
drugs, because that makes me tragic.

Suddenly CLAIRE DANES enters.

CLAIRE DANES
Holy crap, it's Nick Stahl!
Remember me? I kissed you at a party
when you were young, and it happened
to be the day before you vanished
forever, which may or may not have
been related to the unstoppable
serial killer who murdered your
foster parents. What a bizarre and
generally preposterous coincidence
you would run into me again.

NICK STAHL
Made only more absurd by the fact
that today also happens to be the
day that a new set of terminators
will come around. It's almost like
it's...

CLAIRE DANES
Fate? What do you think this is,
The Matrix?

INT. WOMEN'S STRIP CLUB

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER enters a strip club, and approaches a
male stripper with a leather jacket.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I need your clothes, your boots,
and complete emasculation.

The stripper gives back ********** SASS and eventually his
CLOTHES.

EXT. STREET

KRISTANNA LOKEN arrives and approaches a woman driving a
car.

KRISTANNA LOKEN
I am the T-X, a killer robot from
the future.

CAR DRIVER
The T-X? Wouldn't a group of robots
just keep increasing the series
number as they develop machines,
making you the T-1001 or the T-1500
or something?

KRISTANNA LOKEN
In the year 2036, SkyNet created a
marketing campaign to improve its
public relations with other cyborg
assassins. "The T-X" was found to
be, according to a probabilistic
****ysis, "cool". They also gave me
boobs.

She takes the CAR and then goes and MURDERS SOME CHILDREN.
Then she finds the Veterinary Clinic.

INT. VETERINARY CLINIC

KRISTANNA enters and looks for CLAIRE DANES, for some
reason investigating the place she works late at night
instead of her home. CLAIRE hides, breathing loudly just
around the corner. KRISTANNA leaves.

NICK STAHL
Wow, that was close. I can't
believe that a cyborg more advanced
than the T-1000 wouldn't just have
slightly better hearing or
something.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER arrives.

NICK STAHL
Are you here to protect me or kill
me?

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Actually, I'm here to ask for your
support in my campaign for
California Governor.

NICK STAHL
Good enough, let's get out of here!

A TERRIBLY DRAWN-OUT CAR CHASE ensues, with KRISTANNA using
her ROBOT POWERS to control cars.

NICK STAHL
What's going on?!

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
She has the power to control any
electrical system remotely.

NICK STAHL
Cars aren't electrical, they're
mechanical.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Uh... Beep. That does not
compute. Beep blip beep. Whirrrrr.

COMPUTER GENERATED ARNOLD grabs onto KRISTANNA'S CRANE and
is beaten senseless. The CHASE continues and continues and
eventually STOPS.

INT. CAR

ARNOLD, CLAIRE, and NICK all take a moment to chat.

NICK STAHL
So, didn't we stop the war?

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
No. You merely delayed it while
screenwriters thought of good
rationalizations. Sequels are
inevitable.

NICK STAHL
So, the whole thing about "No Fate"
from the first two movies is total
bullsh*t.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Yes. Other things that are being
ignored from the first two films
include the ages of you and your
mother as well as the concept that
you have any leadership qualities at
all.

NICK STAHL
(incessant whining)

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Talk to the hand.

Nobody in the AUDIENCE laughs. Those that were smiling at
the time STOP IMMEDIATELY.

DIRECTOR JONATHAN MOSTOW
Laugh, you fools! It's 2003's
"Hasta La Vista, Baby!"

The AUDIENCE reels in reaction to the newly lame ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER.

NICK STAHL
You said you're from the future,
right? Not 1997, when "talk to the
hand" was funny?

They go to a graveyard.

EXT. GRAVEYARD.

ARNOLD gets some guns. A ridiculous and generally
depressing cameo by EARL BOEN takes place. Then everyone
goes to a MILITARY BASE.

INT. MILITARY BASE

They attempt to stop the RISE OF THE MACHINES, but are
seconds too late, as the TITLE OF THE FILM told everyone
before they even walked into the theater.

ROBOTS go crazy and start KILLING EVERYONE. KRISTANNA
arrives and tries to kill ARNOLD. CLAIRE and NICK run.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I am no match for you, physically
or mentally, as I am obsolete.

KRISTANNA LOKEN
Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you
about that? How come you manage to
keep outsmarting me every time we
meet?

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I was wondering about that myself.
Hey, remember when everyone was in
the graveyard and you were posing as
Claire's boyfriend, and then right
when you could have killed her you
turned back into your default form,
telling everyone you the enemy and
allowing me to beat you?

KRISTANNA LOKEN
Yeah.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
What the **** is the matter with
you?

KRISTANNA, now angered, beats the snot out of ARNOLD, who
beats the SNOT back out of her. Eventually, she knocks his
head off and leaves. He puts his head back on with the help
of CGI WORSE THAN THAT USED IN THE FILM'S PREDECESSOR, WHICH
WAS MADE OVER 10 YEARS EARLIER, FOR ****'S SAKE.

INT. HANGAR

CLAIRE and NICK head toward a HELICOPTER. ARNOLD comes up
and grabs NICK.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Kristanna told me she'd have sex
with me if I killed you.

NICK STAHL
(choking)
Gark! What is your mission?

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
To spew out as many lame one-liners
as possibly while doing my part to
facilitate the unending parade of
references and homages to the first
two films, not to mention ensuring
that not even one shred of
originality or cleverness is shown
in the movie, making this film
almost more of a parody of the
series than a sequel to it.

NICK STAHL
You are about to fail that mission!
This whole Arnold-becomes-evil
robot-again thing is an interesting
and original twist and actually
plays elegantly upon our natural
dichotomy in spite of our unnatural,
emotion-based alliance!

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Yikes!

He shuts himself down. They RUN. JUDGEMENT DAY proceeds
to HAPPEN. The film ends ABRUPTLY and UNSATISFYINGLY.

END

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

DOES YOUR COMPUT0R LIKE TO RESTART BY ITSELF?!


BEFORE YOU GET A PRIEST TO EXORCISE YOUR "POSSESSED" COMPUTER:

About a couple of weeks ago, my computer started restarting by itself. It was really off-pissing, to say the least. I didn't know what would cause it to do that, but suddenly Chad and Robin start telling me that theirs is doing it too. So I was guessing it was some exploited vulnerability in windows. After a bit of searching, I found out that it was a pretty horrid exploit that was just STARTING to spread over the internet.

Pretty funny that my computer is one of the first ones infectred, fuck.

Anyways after lots of cursing and re-BOOTING, I finally fix the problem by installing a windows update patch that no one's heard of, and deleting some really suspicious files in my startup folder. If you have something called "webdav.exe" in your startup folder, that means your infected.

Anyways, this was 2 weeks ago, before the worm was widespread. Chances are that you probably have it by now, and rather than me type up how I got rid of it, Symantec has official removal instructions now that they finally noticed thaqt EVERYONE has it.

How to rid your computer of the internet equivalent of an STD:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Go HERE.

Microsoft sucks. But hey, that's what you get for buying an operating system by a company named after Bill Gate's penis.

"This sucks... in a good way!"

I remembered that I have a site to post to. Cool!

Been pretty busy lately, it's been a rad past week! We've filmed a lot of Copside 3, and we're getting near the end of filming! I edit all the footage right after we shoot, so all the scenes we've done so far have been edited and they're amazing. I can't wait to see everyone's reaction when we screen this thing!

I've also been working at the Richmond job site. From 7:30 am till 3:45 pm I shovel sand. I shovel sand in the hot sun, I shovel sand in the pouring rain. I got a wicked tan now! Work might suck but at least I get a good workout and now I have a steady flow of income!!!

Also been hanging out with Val lots, last wednesday we went to the fireworks. I saw tons of people I knew on the way there:
- Michelle
- Mya and Erin
- Richelle and Vicki
- Noah
There were probably more people but I can't remember. When we ran right into Mya and Erin right outside Granville station, we ended up hanging out for an hour in front of a convenience store, it was rad. Then we went to some CD store that also sold videogames, and Val bought me Metroid Prime for the Gamecube!!!!������. It was so awesome of her, I'm now addicted to that game!!! Anyways, later we met up with Pat and battled the crowd for a good view of the fireworks! As soon as the fireworks were over we beat the crowd to the skytrain station, and we ran into tons more people there. It all kicked ass, I didn't get many pictures though.

In 2 days it's me and Val's 6 months��! She works on thursday so we're gonna celebrate it tomorrow. I gave her her present early though, it was the game Xenosaga for the PS2. We'd always drool over it at the store but never played it, and I thought it'd make a rad gift, and she loved it!! Woohoo!

Oh yeah I also bought a new screaming-fast motherboard and 512MB of the fastest ram for my computer for only $170!!! Unfortunately I have this super duper motherboard and amazing ram, and the CPU I have in it is my clunky old AMD Athlon 1Ghz. I thought that it was too crappy for my mobo to support it, but luckily I was wrong. Hopefully soon I'll be able to get my hands on a kickass new AMD CPU, and once again I'll have the fastest computer on the block.

Yesterday ruled.

Friday, August 08, 2003

I've been hearing that some people are having problems accessing the slurrey server. If you are one of them, please comment and tell me which pages work and which don't.

I'll try and fix it as soon as I can, ass-fornicators!

Thursday, July 31, 2003

So today I went to The Patmeisters party. Pretty fun, lots of drinking (I stayed sober due to the fact that I was driving and I have work tomorrow).

Anyways, at around 10:45 I leave to take Val home, and then I drive back there to stay for a little bit and see if Mark wanted a ride.

I get there, and there's 2 cop cars in front of Pat's house, and the cops in both cars look at me as I *casually* drive by the place trying to hide the "what the fuck" look on my face!

Looks like Pat's party got BUSTED!! Lucky I left just in time!
Anyways, pictures soon. I go to bed now.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

FUCK
From now on, I'm cutting MY OWN fucking hair. This is bullshit, it'll take forever to grow back.

Anyways, friday was our big Copside 3 filming day. I met up with Val early, and we watched.... uhhh... videos. Then we went down to Scott Rd Stn to pick everyone up, but the only people there were Brendan and Susan.

After nearly getting an $85 ticket from a fucking rent-a-cop, we waited for Mya and Erin to show up. They said they'd be late and would be there by 4:30. Well 4:30 came and went and we were still sitting there in the boiling hot car. It was almost 5 when I got pretty pissed off and just left.

We went to my house, and Chad and Robin showed up. We hung out there for a while and then kevin messaged me that mya and erin were stranded at the skytrain stn. So I had to leave everyone here and drive all the way down there and pick them up, and then on the way back I tried to find blank video tapes, but it looks like the kind my camcorder uses are obsolete and no one uses them anymore. FUCK!

So back to my house we go. Eric shows up. Mike hadn't showed up so we replaced his character with Robin, and started filming. We did a lot of filming... we did the Villain intro scene, and I tried to use my "greek accent" voice but it was impossible, everyone would start laughing whenever I used it. So I talked normally and I think I'm going to voiceover my lines during editing.

Then we filmed 3 more scenes.

Then we all went to McD's and got food, and joked around. Afterwards, Mya and Erin disappeared, so me and Eric went to look for them at a nearby liquor store. Some guys asked us if we had change as soon as we got to the front of the store, and I gave them 25 cents and turned around to open the door, and right there was a sign saying "Do NOT support the panhandlers". Oops!

Then I dropped Mya and Erin off at scott rd, and we hung out at my house and joked around and watched funny videos from school, and made fun of people!

On saturday we filmed yet another two scenes. It all worked out great!

Sunday though, was a total BLAST.

On sunday we got up early, and went up to Eric's house to film even more Copside 3, and also to blow up stuff.

We filmed the car chase scene, the roads were pretty empty up there, After that we went to a "deserted" mine, even though the entire place was covered with "no trespassing" signs. We were paranoid that we were gonna get caught. So we grabbed Val's monitor, and a prehistoric computer that I had, and we stuffed the computer with 2 bottles of gasoline, lit it, and started running.

The computer monitor I had packed with explosives, and you could definitely hear them going off!

The thing burned for a good 10 minutes, and eventually the black smoke was so thick that it looked like anyone could notice from REALLY far away. Eric got worried that we'd get caugh so he went over there with the fire extinguisher, even though we weren't sure if the gasoline was all burnt out yet. Shot, I wouldn't risk it blowing up in my face while trying to put it out!!!

It was funny cause once Eric put it out with the fire extinguisher, it flared back up again shortly after.

Here's a time lapse video you can watch of it catching fire. It's 14 minutes squeezed into 14 seconds, but it's only a 1.5 meg file:

Friday, July 25, 2003

PARTY AT THE PATMEISTERS!

Its official, the Patmeister is having a party!

And its on Thursday night! RSVP if your gonna be there!

If you dont tell me you'll be there and how much liquor you want, then you have to bring your own! If you DO tell me then I'm going to be paying for a good amount of it!

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I made up a new insult word: duckfucker!

Monday, July 21, 2003

COPSIDE 3 and other shit

I haven't updated this site for a while cause I'm busy with Copside 3, girlfriend, friends, school, real life, etc.

So on friday we filmed the first major scene for our movie, Copside 3. What a night it became.

So we were all planning on going up to Sumas mtn to film the car chase scene, and blowing up Val's computer monitor. Unfortunately we couldn't get ahold of Eric in time, so we decided to meet at my house. Ashlee messages me in the afternoon wanting to hang out, so I tell her about filming Copside and said we could do the hooker scene today. So she and Debbie come over at 6 wearing the hookerish clothes, and then Chad and Robin show up, and finally Eric and Sara.

We filmed the hooker scene right in front of my house. It was funny, a couple of mormon guys walked by, and many cars full of east indians drove by too it was fucking funny! The filming went rather well, we watched the footage it was pretty good, though the quality of the lighting sucks (way too bright). I can fix it in premiere though!

After filming we hung out in my room for a while, then Ashlee and Debbie left. A bit bored, the rest of us decided to go to Boston Pizza. We go there and who do we see? Ashlee and Debbie again! So they came and joined our huge round table, and we spent the next few hours there joking around. Lots of memorable lines from that night.

Later Ashlee and Debbie left BP, we stuck around though and Chad paid his bill with the brand new credit card he got. This started a chain reaction that will forever be remembered as one of the funniest inside jokes ever.

We left BP and I pumped greek music, while everyone else screamed stuff out the window at people, it was rad. They were also rocking the van, and I never noticed how hard it was to drive that thing with so many people crammed into it... and screaming and rocking the thing while "RAY BOUZOUKI" blared in the background. We saw *real* hookers, bums, drug dealers, and then we sorta ran into Kevin on his way home too! After lots of driving and yelling all over surrey, we were burnt out and ended up at my house again, where my room had transformed into a sauna.

And then it begins.

Sara said something like "well what if you had a credit card, and the other person bent over and you swiped it through his asscrack?". That alone nearly made me nearly die laughing. Then I did an impression of a "double swipe" and then Chad was like "OVER LIMIT BSSSTHHSSSHHTH" and made an exploding sound. Then Eric joined in and was like "Well what if you stuck the credit card in the girl's cunt? If it was accepted, her clit would turn green. And if the card was rejected, a RED LIGHT WOULD COME OUT OF HER ASS". He said it so seriously and that made it even 10 times funnier. Then I was like "yeah and after the transaction her ass would spit out a receipt, while making 80's printer noises!". Ah, how to pay a prostitute in 2050!

If the above paragraph made no sense at all, you just had to be there. I never laughed so fucking hard in my life.

So then, Eric and Sara leave, and me, Chad, and Robin are sitting around. I pull out the 70's "laptop" which was really a massive computer with a monitor built in, and turn it on. It used to belong to some rich guy, who lived in the Casa Mia on marine drive. I was working there for a while cleaning the place out, and found the computer and took it home with me. Chad thought it might have band account numbers and stuff on it, so we looked through it. All the files were empty, except for one, which contained only this text:

"I like to eat penis!"

FUCKING HILARIOUS, so this is what rich people do when bored.

On saturday we filmed another scene, it was pretty good. I'm rather happy with the way the film is going!

I also watched BRAZIL. What a fucked up movie, I loved every second of it! (sorry Val! :P )

Sunday, July 13, 2003

The Patmeister is Working in Pornography!

The Patmeister is Working in Pornography!

Yup, thats right. And you can read al about it too!

Just go to my blog! Updated after every shift!

http://patmeister.blogspot.com
The things I learn at work:

"Mambo pants: It's when you can see the lips, but you're not sure what they're saying."

my co-workers have way too much time on their hands.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Been a while

Been a while since I posted on Slurrey, so I thought I would do so.

Hiyo everyone!

Saw "28 Days" today.

It was allright... not money well spent, but if you can see it really cheap or free then its a good movie.

It was kind of a rip off of a lot of post apocalyptic books Ive read, so maybe I was just annoyed by the references.

Well, apparently Im going to Eric Andersons party tonight, should be lots of fun!

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

�:: Vas Deferens :: the penis mightier than the sword. says:
kirby is such a useless character in smash brothers

�:: Vas Deferens :: the penis mightier than the sword. says:
all he does is suck ;|
Fuck butt fuck fuck butt fucka fucka ass-fucka

I GOT ZELDA: THE WIND WAKER FOR GAMECUBE!!!!!!!!!!! FOR ONLY $40!!!!!!!!!!

It's a good game. Most of the time playing it is spent making Link run around and hump things. This game was designed with people like me in mind!! My favorite character in the game so far is the snot-nosed kid at the beginning!!! Anyone who's played the game knows exactly what I mean.... the programmers must have spent SO MUCH TIME animating that snotsicle so fluidly!

I also found Lunar: Silver Star Story for PSX for 15 bucks. The game is nearly impossible to find and any video game stored that DO have it sell it for $75-100. Hah.

Speaking of Lunar, I got the GBA game in the mail today!! Holy fuck is it good. So good infact, that I did not care how much of a fucking geek I looked like when I whipped out the GBA and played it on the skytrain/bus on the way to school! Hardcore nerdiness.

So on Saturday I met up with Val after she was done work, and we went to Bear Creek park. Then we went to London Drugs where I bought 2 more Gamecube controllers for 6 bucks and I pointed out to her a CD that she really wanted and ended up buying!! Then we went to my house and.... played Gamecube. That's pretty much all we did but we still had SHITLOADS of fun!! I �� Val so much :D

Oh man this has been a really nerdy week for me, I better balance it out this week by working out, drinking a lot, and grunting every 30 seconds or so.

I forgot to mention the AWESOME shirt Vuv got me, I'll post a picture of it later on.

Monday, June 23, 2003

It's funny how slurrey gets the most hits when I least post!
Right now it gets around 160 a day. Don't believe me? Check out our stats.

Terminator 3 is coming out soon.

I've finished editing a movie we filmed ages ago, back in high school. It's our version of a Terminator movie, but to avoid getting sued we called it "ALIEN MACHINE". We were filming this during the same time we were filming Copside. While Copside was more of an after-school thing we worked on, we would film this during video class. ALIEN MACHINE never got finished, we only filmed it on 3 days and then forgot about it. For years, the raw footage just sat on taped, occaisionally watched by people cause it was so fucking hilarious.

So after a few years, I finally transferred the footage onto my computer and edited it. I added "special" effects, which make it look even funnier. My original plan was to just make a trailer out of the little footage we had, but I quickly saw that I could make an actual short film from it by using some creative editing! I added music from the Terminator 2 soundtrack onto it, and also I stuck in a Terminator 3 song (the T3 soundtrack was released onto the internet a bit early) on there too.

So here you guys go... ALIEN MACHINE. This is a 10 minute action-comedy movie. The storyline is hilarious. The horrendous acting is hilarious. The fight scenes are hilarious. The "special" effects are hilarious. This movie is so bad that it's good. REALLY good.

Storyline: The ALIEN MACHINE was sent back in time to start a nuclea war and stop it. 2 computer hackers and a secret agent must team up and stop this war. Derf makes a virus CD, which must be uploaded into the main computer at a top secret facility to stopp the nukes from going off. Can they do it in time? Will the ALIEN MACHINE stop them?

Here are some pictures:








DOWNLOAD ALIEN MACHINE!!!!! (35 MB DiVX)


PS, this is not the "SOMETHING BIG" I was referring to in my last post. We're planning huge project for this summer, but for now it's top secret!!

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Friday, June 13, 2003

I went on an online chat featuring the actress who plays the bad terminator chick in the upcoming T3 movie. I got to ask her a question.

slurrey_dot_com in Onstage4 asks: In the movie do you use your sexiness as a way to get what you want?
Kristanna_Loken_Live says: Absolutely she uses her feminine side to get what she wants. She can be conniving.

Looks like the terminator chick DOES use her feminininininity to get what she wants. I just hope this isn't used stupidly in the movie:

Security guard: Sorry I can't let you in.
TX: I'll show you my tits if you do.
Security guard: OKAY!!!!!!
Techno-style terminator porno music comes on. TX whips out her boobs and they fire laser beams at the guard and kill him.

or

The TX has sex with the general, and she can read his mind by downloading data through his penis.

I guess you can tell I'm bored.

Monday, June 09, 2003

FIELD TRIP 59 PICS



Pictures from the last week or two:
- Ashlee's fucked up crazy cat.
- Going to Crescent Beach with Val
- Hanging out downtown with Karyn and Mya.
Fuck man, some of these search engine queries that people use to find my site are fucking scary:

"nuked girl get fucked"
"why is islam so fucked up
"asleep while i played with my cousins pussy"
"How to masterbate properly images penis"

Yeah uhhhhh.... wow. So Mya's site is finally back. Go check it out!
Nat linked me the other day, agreeing with my driving rant. I always have a problem linking her cause I dunno if her URL is spelled "pr3tend" or "pret3nd" cause I'm dumb.

Aidan also linked me because of my driving rant!
Here's another phantom update for you guys, cause I'm just that fucking lazy.

Saturday, June 07, 2003

Ah, the new proposed driving regulations. It will take a lot longer to get a drivers licence, and when you are finally able to drive, there will be a limit to how many passengers you can take with you. Supposedly, this will save the lives of many teenagers.

FUCKING IDIOTS.

Just because a tiny percentage of stupid teenagers drive like fucking maniacs and get themselves killed, means all other teenagers get fucked in the ass too? Is everyone THAT stupid, thinking that every teenager is a speed-hungry moron?

The limit on passengers makes no sense, and will only cause more problems. One of the mest things about having a car is being able to get rides from your friends or going places with a group of people that aren't easily accessible otherwise. Now this passenger limit is going to screw everything up. How the hell are people going to go out with their friends somewhere, if they can only have one passenger in the car?

An example of what kind of problems this will cause. Say that 6 people want to go hang out somewhere but have to drive there. Normally the guy with a van could drive them all there, but now, there's these new restrictions in place so the driver can only have one passenger in the vehicle. Assuming that at least 3 of them drive, instead of having one vehicle on the road you'll have 3 driving to the same place. Now what if one of the drivers is a dumbshit and decides to speed? Will the rest of them speed too to catch up? Well if they are the same kind of people who'd pressure someone to drive like an asshole, then of course they will. So now instead of having one speeding car you'll have 3. Nice.

Another thing. Has anyone ever heard of a designated driver? You know, the people who drive home the other people who are definitely in no condition to drive? Well that's going to be fucking hard when you can only have one passenger in your car! What's everyone else going to do? Drive themselves home? Way to encourage drunk driving, knobgobblers.

Studies have shown that the risk of an accident increases depending on how many passengers are in the car. Does that mean that we should limit the number of passengers a new driver can have? Fuck no!!!!!

- Part of learning to drive is getting used to having lots of people in your car.

- Only really stupid drivers will listen to their friends telling them to drive stupid. It doesn't matter how many people are in the car, whether you have 1 person or 5, and a nice fast car, you can gurantee you'll have someone wanting to see how fast the fucker will go.

- If the new restrictions are put in place, I gurantee that accidents involving speeding/drunk teens will still happen. And their sad parents will "make a plea for other teens to drive safer", as usual. They will wonder what more could be done to keep this from happening, and more restrictions on teenage drivers will be proposed. And it'll just keep getting worse and worse, due to those numbskulls making these dumbass restrictions not knowing what the real problem is.

They keep making a drivers license harder and harder to get. It's not that all these teenagers who die on the road were uneducated. It was their attitude towards driving. If people speed, I'd say they know the consequences, but feel like it's not going to happen to them. It's a stupid fucking attitude, but most teenagers aren't like that.

I think parents should also do their damn jobs too. Make sure your kids don't speed! And don't buy them fast cars you dumb fucks!

You know what I would do to make sure less people died from stupid car accidents?

- The obvious stiffer penalties for stupid driving.
- Make a mandatory high school course for driving. Oh and show some students the goriest pictures from car crashes just so they know how fucked up it can be. A course like that would be much better than the shit like CAPP there is now.
- Movies glorify car chases. More movies should have car chases end in gory horrible ways!
- Other shit I can't think of right now cause I'm bored of writing this already.

If these new restrictions are passed, they won't affect me much. But it pisses me off to see how people can be so stupid and punish all teens for the few who are stupid. Whenever I hear about many people being fucked over for what a few people did, it really makes me want to go postal. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE NEW RULES WON'T MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE AARRRGGGHHHDJDDSDsd;cvvv.

Well that's all I'm gonna write about that shit cause I'm hot and tired. If anyone has anything to say leave a comment.


�:: Vas Deferens :: says:
the whole proposed driving desicion reminds me of back in elementary when the teacher would punish the whole class as a result of something one student did.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

I updated a bunch of parts of this site, so check out the field trips page, the image galleries page, and the new about me page!
Enjoy fuckers!

Friday, May 30, 2003

MiKE; change my link (http://rawwwk.expunk.com) and put it up toward the top because well you love me. Change the damn poll too you bastardly fuck.

I'm bitchy today. Angry even. My dumbass mother told me to sit in the sun for AN HOUR when I said half an hour would be fine. Well, I'm fucking BURNT. To a mother fucking CRISP. THANKS MOMMY. $#%&@(&$#@%#$ Thats the last time I do anything my mother tells me to do. That and both today and tomorrow I'm supposed to go out to Coquitlam and I look like a fucking tomato. YAY FOR REDNESS! Stupid bleeding anus cloud. FLYING PIG SQUID.

I need to sleep.

Monday, May 26, 2003

It's been a rough fucking week, but I survived finals.

Funny how on finals week, everything goes to shit... first I get really sick, making it harder to study, then when I get better and I have one final left, the power at my house goes out for a few hours. I probably did ok on my finals, there's one course I most likely failed... JAVA. Hah. Anyways it was a really stressful fucked up week but I'm so glad it's over.... SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!!! WOO HOO and shit!

On friday Val came to BCIT and we met up after my last exam, and whoa... she got a haircut and put red streaks in and it looks FUCKING hot. We went to the mall and then hung out the rest of the day at my house and got pizza and stuff, it was rad as usual! I sure missed her :-) Too bad her damn work is giving her sooooo many hours! Figures eh, as soon as I finish school, work has her there for full time! @*#&@_$ :P

Yesterday I re-aranged my room somewhat, but it didn't work out so I had to re-arrange it back again. Then I moved some stuff and it looks better. Blah. Then Ashlee called me (she's back from the island early) and came over for a couple of hours. Then she left and I met up with Mya, Karyn, and Natalie at gateway stn. We hung out all over whalley and I got booze for them and they got drunk and started kissing each other, and naturally I just whipped out the camera and took pictures. They can be seen here:

FIELD TRIP 58 PICS: GIRLS KISSING!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

�:: Vas Deferens :: vtf. says:
i gave you sars :{

Monday, May 19, 2003

ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME THIS ASSRAPING SACK OF PISS FUCKING WORKED. You see? This is why I HATE blogger. It just makes me so angry. Almost as angry as the brown kid down the way. Damn lippy little shit. I have nothing to say because well, I'm Karyn and I'm fuckin' retarded. I would plug my site since MiKE is a faggot and hasn't changed my link in about 6 months, and he's got me linked WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY down there with all the weirdos who like to stick their hands in my pants; so I think maybe I should get linked toward the top where I won't get violated eh? EH!? Whateva.

�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
POST ON SLURREY
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
WHATS MY PASSWORD JIGGA?
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
fuuuck my headache will NEVER go away!
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
i dunno :\
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
go get your eyes checked
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
i'd post on surrey if i had a mother fuckin passowrd
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
PASSWORD EVEN
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
it's not greymatter FOO
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
I KNOW ASSHOLE
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
blogger
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
you have to INVITE me to use blogger asswiping sack of piss
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
login
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
YOU BUYER OF MICROSOFT PRODUCT!
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
*DIES*
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
lmao
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
asswiping sack of piss. im a genius
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
invite my pinkins0mnia@hotmail.com account to use your slurrey hooker slimetrail blogger.
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
there ass-hat
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
ASS
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
HAT
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
*waiting for the email*
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
FUCK
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
WHAT?
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
did your dumb ass fuck it up AGAIN
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
blogger is being a sheep with a violated asshole
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
there
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
LMAO!
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
me am going to teh bed0r now
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
ok fag
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
ttyl
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
cya
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
IT FUCKED UP
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
WTFING FUCK
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
WAKE UP
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
WAKE UP YOU SACK OF PISS AND FIX THIS SHIT
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
FUCK YOUUUUUU
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
what's wrong?
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
success
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
ok send the invite again
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
cuz its fuckin up because i had to sign up for a new accoutn?
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
UHHH NO
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
and it fucked up like the OJ SIMPSON trial
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
you are re-todd-did
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
NO; BLOGGER IS
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
c'mon yu know you love me
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
there
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
?
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
there what?
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
THERE!
�\m/ (>_<) o O (Are your man-tits quivering in rage? THUNDER!!!!! ) says:
i sent it you freakass
kiki lee ... double <3 RHYMING ... take a chance on me says:
yea i just got it fuckface

Oh man; the love we share... We should pass it off as Tourettes or some shit. FAG!

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Sometimes I feel the urge to SLAP THE KEYBOARD WITH MY DICK. Anyone ever feel that urge? Like seriously, when the fans in the computer start making weird groaning noises, and everyone thinks that the stupid fucking box in the corner of my room is in heat, it tends to get rather annoying. There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night to the noise of NRRRR NRRRNNNRN RRRRrrrrrrRRRR (sputter sputter clunk clunk).

My computer makes a lot of noise. I make even more noise telling it to "SHUT THE FUCK UP". It continues making that stupid noise...... I get up, whip out my dick, and piss on the fucker. As the piss hits the fan, it sprays all over the inside of the computer like a water sprinkler, causing sparks to fly and piss to land all over me. In a rage, I pick it up and bodyslam it on the floor, then defecate right on the CPU (I'd hope that the fans stopped spinning by now). VICTOLY!

Ok maybe that didn't happen, but I wish I could somehow shut it up. It's doing it right now actually... FUCKING QUIT MAKING NOISE YOU KNOB-GOBBLING CUM BUBBLE!!!

The only solution it seems, it to get new fans. Their "ball bearings" have gone to shit. At a cost of $10 for the big black ones, and $50 for the cpu one, and I'll probably have to get a new power supply since thee fan in that is nearly gon. Total will probably be over $150 bucks. Suddenly, the thought of fucking my computer in the ASS instead seems a lot more feasible.

If anyone has any spare fans sitting arouns, GIVE THEM TO ME!!!
I updated the ever-so-popular quotes page.
Enjoy!
These days when you are talking to someone on the internet, you can't really see their emotions. The most common way to tell if they are laughing is when they say "lol". But there are varying degrees and variations of "lol", so I am going to list them here for everyone's benefit! Yes I'm so nice.

"lol" - Usually when someone sends this, he or she is most likely not laughing at all, but usually sends it as a response to something that could have been funny, or as just a typical response to anything. Usually saying something like "There is a meat product in my pants and I want to put it in your buns and squirt a dairy product on your face" will either generate a "lol" response or being blocked/ignored.

"LOL" - Spelled in the same way as lol but with capitalised letters, the person who typed that out thought that something was funny, and probably even managed a chuckle or two.

"LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Same as above, except since the person felt the need to add a few more exclamation marks after it, it can be presumed that they laughed a little.

"LMAO" - It stands for "Laughing My Ass Off" but it ranks about the same as a LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

"ROFLMAO" - Do not be fooled by this one, the person is not really rolling on the floor laughing their ass off, or they would not have been able to type that response. The person must have laughed quite a bit though, because ROFLMAO is a longword to type and most people don't really feel like typing such a word unless they are in the mood for it.

"LOL LOL LOL ROFLMFAO ROOOOOOFLE LMA LAOOLMAO LOL HAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO ROFLMROFLMAROTODOFKWEKWir e3nr4 u3joj32r3@^$@*&$#(* *(#(*#&$# #& *#&* &$)(#*&$) C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - This person is obviously not laughing, but having a seizure or something. It is recommended that the person recieve medical help immediately.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Lack of creativity has forced me to use an old rant of mine. Since I don't drive yet, I rely on public transportation which is the inspiration for this post.


Transit & Common Sense (a contradiction?)


Learn how to sit properly in a seat. Don't use the back of other seats as foot rests, especially if someone is sitting there. If you kick me in the head, I will kick you in the head.


The hand rails and hand holds are not to be used to practice your gymnastics. If you have serious issues with keeping still, then there's a drug called Ritalin that may be useful. Take it.


Just because It's raining doesn't give you the excuse to "rest" your umbrella in an empty seat beside you.


Pulling the "next stop" cord numerous times will not win you a prize.


Bus stops are usually recognizable as a blue wooden pole with "BUS STOP" at the top. Sometimes they are accompanied by a bench. Bus stops are NOT: No Parking signs, curbs before busy intersections or trees. Don't try to get off the bus at these locations since you'll waste everyone's time and end up looking like an idiot.


The doors will not magically open. You need to press the bar on the door, or step down on the steps.


On a mostly empty bus, don't stand near the back doors then complain when people have to squeeze past you to get off the bus. Moving your lazy ass to a seat will make everyone's life easier.


It's common curtesy if you're sitting in a seat near the aisle, to get up when the person next to you needs to get off the bus instead of just swinging your legs out of the way. You're still in the way, so don't complain if the person has a backpack and it smacks you in the face.


A note for bus drivers :


The brakes are not going to run away. Jamming your foot down on them every 10 seconds to make sure that they're still there will make the passengers angsty.


If a person is holding objects that appear to be books and is wearing a backpack, chances are they are a student. You do not need to ask them for proof of this, especially if the bus you are driving is en route to a college. The tired, starving and generally pissed off look in their eyes should be all the proof you need.
I just watched the Matrix Reloaded!!!
Man, it's crazy, once I think I've figured out the movie, I remember another part that totally throws things around again!
Multiple viewings? I think so.

As for the movie itself.... let's just say that for every event that happened in that movie, 3 events happened in my pants.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

FIELD TRIP #57!!!!!

The weekend was pretty rad!

Eric had a party on friday, so I met up with Mark and went there. It was really fun, I drank a lot and played the drums and there were lots of crazy people there. That night only 2 or 3 chicks showed up, so total sausage party, but it still rocked.

On saturday I met up with Val and Jessie at 3, and then we went to get warped tour tickets. The traffic was really bad so we had to turn around and pick Karyn up. We went Pat's birthday party, after getting lost trying to find his house. We hung out there for a while, got booze, drank a bit. Then we headed off to Eric's second party, and that was wicked!! People showed up and stuff, and I saw Mike Anderson for the first time in like 3 years, and Jen Knowles and also Eric V and Sara showed up too but I didn't have the money I owed him.

I got really wasted and I don't remember much of what happened. I think I TRIED to play drums, got pizza, and I'm still covered in scrapes and bruises that night. That indicates that the party was THAT damn good.

Tomorrow is me and Val's 3 month anniversary. How are we going to celebrate it? By going and seeing THE MATRIX RELOADED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're both extreme matrix fans so I got us advence tickets for tomorrow! It's gonna be fuckin rad! :D

Oh yeah, Vuv made me an awesome fansign! <3>

Monday, May 05, 2003

�:: she - prime assinator :: says:
"�itisi nai poroja!"

�:: she - prime assinator :: says:
"Your mother copulates with reindeer"

�:: she - prime assinator :: says:
its a finnish insult :D
Gotta love how it was sunny all last week, and as soon as the weekend came the weather turned to shit, and now on monday it's sunny again!
*middle finger to the sky*

This morning's accounting class was rather interesting. I got in a few minutes early, sat down on the computer.

Suddenly some nasty chick is bitching about how slow the computers are at logging in today, and she starts BEATING ON THE KEYBOARD!! Some guy sitting next to her tells her to calm down, and I couldn't hear much except her saying:

"Why are you talking to me? Do I know you?"
"Yeah I paid for this computer, I've probably been going here longer than you"

Man what a cunt! Then she said something to the guy that really pissed me off, "You're from vancouver and you're calling ME a loser?".

At that point it took all I had to not get up and kick her head through the computer screen. I dunno where that bitch was from, with her little weird hat/turban thing on her head and her coke-bottle glasses, but who the fuck does she think she is dissing anyone from vancouver like that? Dumb bitch. If you don't like it, go back to your third world country.

That wasn't the end of it though, later when the rest of my classmates came in and were patiently waiting for the people from the previous class to get off the computers so they can use them, that cunt was like "You know.... words? The things you learned in elementary school? Why don't you use them?".

Ummm.... yeah, I thought about using a few four-letter words to tell her to shut that disgusting hole in her face, preferably by inserting a giant black c0ck into it. Then as she's getting off her computer she's mumbling more stupid shit. What a fucking sow.

Sunday, May 04, 2003

FRIDAY NIGHT ME MYA NAT AND KARYN HUNG OUT AT SOME RANDOM SCHOOL PLAYGROUND IN SURREY AND I BURNT THINGS AND THEN WE GOT KICKED OUT SO WE SAT ON THE STREET AND MET NEW DRUNK PEOPLE AND BURNT MORE THINGS AND IT WAS FUN FUN FUN!!@

FIELD TRIP #56!!!!!
�\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
there was this flying squirrel

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
at the zoo

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
with a GIANT penis

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
it was sitting on a treebranch eating nuts, with it's long shlong swinging in the breeze

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
suddenly, its eyes turned a fiery red

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
and it flew through the cage, and towards me

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
and it's penis smacked me in the head

\m/ (>_<) o O (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't) says:
and I woke up

Friday, May 02, 2003

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!!!!!!!
Stolen from Aidan's site:

Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: of what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*

Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Thursday, May 01, 2003

this morning mike said to me


"wake up mya "


IT WAS SO FUNNY HAHAHHAWHAHWHAHWAHWHAHW!@#(#$*()@&$@)(*~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111389214333
On this date, 18 years ago, The Patmeister was born.

And no one has lived an annoyance free life since!

Yup, today, I am of legal majority, I can buy porn, go fight and die for my country, kill for my country, vote federaly, but no no no, I cant get into that alcyhol, there's no way I could be responsible enough for that! I mean, killing is one thing, DRINKING that's a whole new ball game.

Oh well, having fun listening to The Clash, and Cheap Trick.
Eat s0me A55: i LOVE your site
I am Slurrey Guy: thanks
I am Slurrey Guy: do i know ya?
Eat s0me A55: ITS SO KEWL
Eat s0me A55: your so HOT TOO OMG!
Eat s0me A55: this is mike right?
I am Slurrey Guy: uh, thanks?
I am Slurrey Guy: yeah
Eat s0me A55: omgomgomgomg
Eat s0me A55: you're soooooooooooooooo cool
Eat s0me A55: omg
Eat s0me A55: how old are you?
I am Slurrey Guy: 20
Eat s0me A55: :-(
I am Slurrey Guy: I like being 20
Eat s0me A55: my names alisa :-)
I am Slurrey Guy: my name's mike, but you already knew that
Eat s0me A55: YEAH!
Eat s0me A55: !
Eat s0me A55: im 14 :-D!
I am Slurrey Guy: good work
Eat s0me A55: wanna see a pic?
Eat s0me A55 wants to directly connect.
Eat s0me A55 is now directly connected.
I am Slurrey Guy: hmmmm
Eat s0me A55: im looking :-):-):-):-):-):-)
Eat s0me A55:

I am Slurrey Guy: hahahahaha
Eat s0me A55: am i THAT BAD jeez :-P
I am Slurrey Guy: I've seen that picture before
Eat s0me A55: wow!!!
Eat s0me A55: WERID
Eat s0me A55: #$^
I am Slurrey Guy: yup
Eat s0me A55: you think im pretty?
I am Slurrey Guy: sure why not
Eat s0me A55: im bored
I am Slurrey Guy: me too
Eat s0me A55: wanna cyber?
I am Slurrey Guy: of course not
Eat s0me A55: WHY NOT
Eat s0me A55: YOU FUCK
Eat s0me A55: YOU THINK IM UGLY :'(
I am Slurrey Guy: i have a girlfriend
I am Slurrey Guy: and cybering is for losers
Eat s0me A55: yeah thats not what you said last night hot cheaks
Eat s0me A55: >:D
I am Slurrey Guy: riiiiight
Eat s0me A55: i live in victoria
Eat s0me A55: maybe
Eat s0me A55: one day i could come c u? :-[
I am Slurrey Guy: no thanks
Eat s0me A55: why?!
Eat s0me A55: fuck you then
Eat s0me A55: i could find you myself
Eat s0me A55: through a program
Eat s0me A55: then ill find you and kiss you lots
Eat s0me A55: omgomg
Eat s0me A55: weeeeeee
Eat s0me A55: hehhehe kewlies :-D that b to rolen
I am Slurrey Guy: are you on drugs
I am Slurrey Guy: or heavy medication?
Eat s0me A55: im on vitemen M
Eat s0me A55: what ever happened to thoyghs girl on ur s1t3?
Eat s0me A55: the cam ones
I am Slurrey Guy: check the local cams page
Eat s0me A55: why arnt they on the main page anymore
Eat s0me A55: that made me happy that you took them down
Eat s0me A55: because i want to be the one under and on top of you
I am Slurrey Guy: cause the page loaded faster?
Eat s0me A55: not some surrey bitches
Eat s0me A55: omg i cat belive i jus say that hehehhehe
Eat s0me A55: hey
Eat s0me A55: seriously tho
Eat s0me A55: do you have paypal?
I am Slurrey Guy: no, I have a job
Eat s0me A55: i could send you money
Eat s0me A55: if you sent me picture of your self
Eat s0me A55: in verious poses
Eat s0me A55: involveing skeef and some lube
Eat s0me A55: and my evil birds
Eat s0me A55: and gay cat
I am Slurrey Guy: :|
I am Slurrey Guy: MYA
Eat s0me A55: >:D
I am Slurrey Guy: YOU BITCH!!!!!
I am Slurrey Guy: :P
Eat s0me A55: BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA