Wednesday, January 29, 2003

I have a February bus pass and I still can't fucking use it! Every morning I have to dig around for change to take the skytrain/bus to BCIT. I find change in the most unlikely places.... on the floor, behind my bed, in my shoe, and up my ass.

Avril Lavigne's Chop Suey cover will not exit my head. I cannot wipe that horrible piece of horribleness from my memory. I might as well go hire an exorcist and see if he can exorcise that musical atrocity out of my brain. Fuck Avril, keep your sickness away from other people's songs! I hope no other good songs get "Avrilfied" like that. What a tragedy.

Britney Spears is now fucking Fred Durst up the ass with her giant throbbing penis, after she found out how "limp" his "bizkit" is. Freddy got Fingered. Eww. I know she dumped Justin Timberlake because he had a vagina... but fuck. Fred Durst isn't much higher up on the scale of manliness.

So yeah, I dunno who saw the new Matrix 2 & 3 superbowl ad, but man. That thing made me shoot a load that made a hole in the wall about the size of my head. When that commercial was played, you could feel the earth tremble as millions of americans creamed their pants at the same time. Holy shit that looked awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine how many people are having sex at this very moment, while you are sitting here at the computer reading some dumb Surrey website? Does it not want to make you take action? Well then.... TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, GO OUT, AND FUCK SOMETHING!!!! Geez, I'm tired of people complaining about lacking the sex. If you live in surrey, you'll have a hard time crossing the street WITHOUT getting laid!! (and herpes too). Horny bastards.

I would like to say that "Just Me" has suffered a horrible freak-accident while sucking too much cock, and is no longer with us. Rest in jizz peace fucker, you're one of the few Slurrey staff who didn't post something once they got hired, and then forgot to ever post again.

This weekend is going to kick ass.
Hi remember me?

I'm thinking about haveing a contest and ill make the winner a layout or something, anyone have any ideas on what the contest should be?

The ideas of who can buy me the most things have already been considdered ;-)

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

If I was in touch with my feminine side, I'd touch it all the time.

And now I'll give you all something to watch, HAPPY TREE FRIENDS.

It's my favourite cartoon EVER EVER EVER. I came from here.

Monday, January 27, 2003

FIELD TRIP #46 PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend definitely kicked an assload of ass!!

Friday consisted of...... stuff ;)
It was a great night.

Saturday I thought, why not call some people up and hang out at my place! So Karyn, Pat, and Mark came over, and we chilled out for a while. Mark pulled out what I would call "the stoner's bible" (which contains useful info on growing your own pot, on paper not suitable for rolling it with). I haven't learned so much about pot in a single night!! Eventually the Xbox got turned on, and we started playing Xbox games on Live! We also ordered pizza. Pat started playing Whacked on Xbox, and he kept being shot by what he called the "Sperm Gun". I think that "The Jizz Cannon" is a more accurate name for it, because he was obviosly being shot by wads of white stuff, and we all know that sperm makes only part of the semen. Gotta love playing a game called WACKED.

It was time for Karyn to get home before the skytrains stopped running. So we all piled in the van and I drove Karyn to the skytrain station. But was the night over? Nope. We hung out ar Mark's place for a while, and stuff that was NOT tobacco was smoked. Hooo boy, I think Pat coughed up a piece of charcoal that used to be one of his lungs. Rock on!

Mark picked up some X-box games, and we were off to my house again!! Mark and Pat killed each other in Medal Of Honor multiplayer. Mark's character was the grandma, and Pat was blowing her away. It was pretty funny cause earlier Pat was saying to Karyn "how can you yell at a grandma?". Ok so rather than yell at her you shoot her?

On sunday (tonight) me, Karyn, Mya, Mike, and Natalie met up at Metrotown at around 5:30. We had to wait outside for everyone to show up, and it was freezing cold! Geez maybe next time we should meet INSIDE the mall? So we try to figure out something to do, and end up wandering in the mall. I had some McDick's, shit tasted as bad as always.

While waiting outside McDick's for the girls (you know how they ALL have to go to the bathroom together!), me and Mike made a new friend. I think his name was Marko or something. He tried to sell us weed and said he was from Montreal. He said he had just done coke and was also drunk... basically he told his life story. Which was doing coke today, being drunk, and waiting for imaginary people. That was pretty funny.

We went to playdium and Natalie played some games, and we also watched a couple of asian guys go nuts on Dance Dance Revolution. Then we went met Aidan. Whoa he's a lot shorter than he looks on cam, he's even shorter than me! He's a funny guy.

We went to the movie theater, and ended up watching Gangs of New York. That was a fucking awesome movie, I loved it. And I especially liked the vary last shot, where it showed the twin towers standing there. That was the awesomest part of the movie for me!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is Eileen's party. I really hope I can make it... it all depends on how my Java assignment goes. Please compile you piece of shit! Fucking java!!!

Friday, January 24, 2003

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Dear Spammers,

- I do not need to enlarge my penis, not everyone has an inadequate penis such as you.
- I do not want a fake diploma, nor does anyone else. Maybe if you ACTUALLY WENT TO SCHOOL you'd be smart enough to realize this.
- I don't need to lose weight.
- I'm not in debt. How much debt are you guys in after all the spam you send is read by NO ONE? Fuck off.
- I do not want a free sample of anything sent to my home address... knowing it will come with a free sample of more junk mail than I can burn safely.
- I do not want to "make money now" or "get rich doing jack squat". I dunno who Jack Squat is, but if any of those money-making spam emails were true, we'd all be millionaires wouldn't we?
- Last but not least, FUCK OFF!!

I wonder why the hell spam still exists. Everyone agrees that it's annoying and none of it is worth reading. So now we're getting MORE of it?! Do the brain-deficient retards behind spamming think that if they flood our email boxes with more of it that we'll actually start reading? Idiots.

That is all. (It seems to be a growing trend that people are ending their posts with that sentence. I guess I'll jump on the bandwagon).

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Greetings to everyone.

As you hopefully have noticed (you'd be pretty dumb if you didn't), we have a new staff member. He/she/its name is "Just Me", and when I hired this person, I was guranteed a lot more hits to this site!! Looks like it worked! A couple of nights ago slurrey almost got 200 hits! Nice.

Lots of hits have also come from search engines, from people looking for Avril Lavigne porn. What the fuck. I would rather see Osama Bin Laden licking his own hairy bleeding asshole, than see any more of Avril's body than I already have to endure. If I ever saw her naked and saw that she DOES actually have female genitalia, I think the awful truth would drive me into a coma.

Did anyone out there hear her cover of a System of A Down song? FUCK!!!! How dare that punkass bitch soil such a great song. Well I shouldn't call her a The only thing real about Avril Lavigne is her mediocre man-tits.

Anyways, this weekend was fuckin grand!
Did a lot of things... on saturday I started reading up on my C assignment. It doesn't look too tough... isn't it? (I swear, hearing Albert say "isn't it?" with a harsh chinese accent after every sentence is going to send me to a mental hospital very soon). Then Ashlee and Angela came over, and we basically chilled in my room for the next few hours. I started drinking, but only got buzzed. I was actually shocked at how little it took to get me that buzzed! Just shows that I haven't been drinking as much as I'm supposed to lately.

Sunday was sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to the flea market and bought shit. I got some blinking blue necklace light for 3 bucks, which I ripped the blue LED out of and stuck it in my computer. I also got a 50-pack of CD's for 20 bucks. Score!

Then went to cash converters and they were selling broken Playstations for $10. Who would be stupid enough to buy a broken Playstation? ME!!!! I mean... those things are already fucked up before you take them out of the box.

So I took it home, tried to play a game, and the laser was making weird grunting noises. So I took the PSX apart, and then took the laser thinger apart, and all the gears in it were fucked up. There was also lots of hair and stuff in there.... I'm hoping it wasn't pubic hair.... i couldn't tell cause it was mangled bad. So I put it back together and guess what... IT WORKED!!! Sweet, this is almost as sweet of a deal as when I bought that waterlogged webcam for $10.

Remember kiddies, don't have sex with your Playstation. You don't want pubes getting caught in the laser mechanism.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

my sister wrote this:

Where to start huh?
Well lets see�Justin seems to have lost about 400 pounds. Most of which is Joey. I used to wish that the candy ass bands would break up. Be careful what you wish for. Instead of having one giant piece of shit band. You now have to listen to a bunch of winy no talent solo artists instead. And another thing about candy ass groups is you don�t ever have to look at any one of them for too long. Instead we have one long giant look at their ugly faces. And what�s with �girlfriend�s? once you put want to be thugger Justin next to Nelly he looks even more white. They went from being the biggest candy ass group in POP, to being the biggest candy ass group in Hip Hop. Except its more like Hip Pop, which is appropriate cuz it sure as hell describes their dancing. Street racing? That�s cool, but its illegal. Maybe Justin and the crew should get arrested. Then they�d know the real meaning of being someone�s �girlfriend�. And if dancing on tricked out cars during a street race doesn�t get you beat up. Then what will? Honestly� where did they go to get there fake girlfriends? Ethnics-r-us? And Lance just looks like a fruit. I honestly think he is just N�Sync�s mascot. Justin, Justin, Justin� Stalking is bad. He openly admitted that Brittany and he perform oral. And it seems that he still wants to eat her� with a glass of water and a salad. This video starts off with Brittany getting into a car with another guy. Which immediately means that she is going to have sex with him. She comes back within ten minutes. Seems the sex was the same with Justin. Justin breaks into her house and proceeds to watch her take a shower. Just cuz their not together doesn�t mean he can�t do that right? WRONG! It turns out Brittany was seen going off with one of her back up dancers. The only time they would get naked together would be to try on each others clothes. After that Justin had a fling with Janet Jackson � boo fucking hoo. Seems Justin�s new wardrobe artist was the same for Michael Jackson. Except Justin didn�t have to try as hard, he was already white. Oh look guys, lets go loiter in the 7-11 parking lot, and while were at it, read their magazines. I don�t think they have the �No Loitering� policy, right? Wrong again boys. And what the hell was that? Shakin off after a piss Justin? Please.. Running out of ideas for dance moves? Just copy Sean Desman. The �smell your pits� move. Don�t Get me started on Sean. Looks like he stole his big brothers clothes in some lame �cool for a day� attempt. Ooh look a Mercedes, don�t get to excited it�s a rental� Bling Bling from the rental king. And look over there. Three ladies who just happen to go shopping in their bra�s! sure. Try to show off by doing a choreographed dance move in the middle of the street with a bunch of your buddies. Then try to convince them you really do like girls. But I must say its pretty good for a Canadian effort.

by Teri Westerby

Friday, January 17, 2003

Borf: And I will call it... "Crapster"

d00f: But what will it do?

Borf: It will enable users to swap mp3 files, images, and videos of their..... bowel movements.

d00f: Oh this is very exciting, I can feel my sphincter twitching already. Surely people will enjoy viewing each others bathroom activities. But will it not violate any copyright laws?

Borf: Unless your flatulence sounds like Avril Lavigne, or your fecal matter resembles clay child porn.... no I do not forsee a problem.

d00f: But anything by Avril Lavigne already sounds like it's coming out of some sort of ass.

Borf: I see reason for your concern, but be assured, Crapster will utilize filters to block out any material that isn't considered toilet-feed.

d00f: You have convinced me Mr. Borf. Now bend over so you can recieve my investment into your wonderful product

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

New Noise Concept 2003
Friday, January 17 -- 7:00PM
@ Abbotsford Evangelical Free Church, 33218 Marshall Rd.
The Widows
Martial Law
New World On Fire
Glorious Janitors
Circumcising Clay
Dyslexic The


There is also an all-ages show this saturday January.18th
@ Seylynn Hall (605 Mtn. Hwy. North Vancouver)
Radio Berlin
The Witness Protection Program
No Dice
show @ 7:00pm
cost: $5 (????)

Last night I was all pissed off because there was this concert i wanted to go to in Maple Ridge, but i had to work. but something happened, and my night turned out to be purdy good!

Originally scedualed till 10:30, I got off work at 8:30, and I took the bus down to where this concert was, but eveyone was already gone, so i didnt know what to do, or why it was over so early.... but anyways, i found everyone - lindsay, evan, chris, candice, amanda, genesis, and jon, andi, and some others, and we were all hanging out at subway, cause one of the bands didnt show up for the concert.� They are called Sip Yek Nom.... They are a wicked street punk band from the north west erritories, and have members you certinly would wanna bone! So we are waiting outside for genesis mom, and guess whos awesome van pulls up..... SIP YEK NOM's!!!!!� and so we all run up to their van and scream and yell at them, and tell them we should cut their faces and kick them in the teeth!!!!� We hung out with them for a while outside in the cold, and then they broke out the acoustic and bongo drums, and played for us on the street - it was only me, linny, genesis, amanda, evan, and some guy.... so anyways, we all talked and got free cd's and autographs and such.� then it was 10:15, and genesis's mom came to pick them up, so off went evan, amanda and genesis, and the guys in the band gave me, linny, and that guy a ride home! THEY ARE SOOOO COOL! and we listened to their cd on the ride, and they KICK ASS, they are soo good live and unplugged too!! HAHA, you should totally book them for a show! They fuckin RULE! HEY, i just figued out that their name is monkey pis backwards!! HAHAHA

go to

What a Ngiht! This Friday there is a concert in Abbi, you all should go, I know New World On Fire is playing, go check it out! I'll get more info on that one later!!

Monday, January 13, 2003

FIELD TRIP #45 PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not much in there. We went to the burned house again, and took some more pictures.

I am almost certain that Avril Lavigne has some sort of penis. Without makeup, she looks more like a guy than most guys do. I'd still like to jizz on her face though.... but from at least 20 feet away.

Looks like Pheends is back. You know you're not truly an internet celebrity until you've had a giant black COCK photoshopped into one of your pictures! But wow, that picture got me over 20 hits today. No wonder all those pre-pubescent camgirls get so many hits, they have mastered the art of gobbling the knob. :O

I go to the message board and see that everyone is forgetting that it even exists!!! Damnit fuckers, post on there! It's fun! Very fun!! Especially when I say it is!!!!!!!!!

I can gurantee that this site is responsible for 72% of the semen released into the environment these days. 100gigs of porn! Makes me want to jerk it at 1.2 ghz.

I have a headache. Maybe it's from that stupid haircut I got. I didn't want my hair shortened that much!!! I just wanted it trimmed! But dipshit pulls out the electric razor and shaves a chunk of my hair out, and I had no choice but to let the rest of it go. I was almost getting a mullet too! Thanks "Adib". I really shouldn't get my hair cut at Superstore.

Saturday, January 11, 2003


(Right-click and choose "save as". You need divx to watch it!)

Monday, January 06, 2003

Yesterday I bought a new video card, because my old one was ancient. I replaced my ATI Rage 128 ViVo with an All-in-wonder Radeon 7500. This thing rocks, especially with the TV functions it has. You click on the TV Show Listings program that comes with it, then you click on a show you want to record, and it automatically records it onto the computer in glorious MPEG-2. It's nice. It also runs my 3D games a lot faster, but I never really play games so who gives a low-flying fuck.

It came with a remote control. Now I have 7 remote controls that I use. 3 of them are dildo-shaped. Hrm!

With me new video card, I didn't need my old Pinnacle TV capture card. The bloody thing didn't work anyways, because the needledicks as Pinnacle decided not to release Windows XP drivers for it. Thanks, pricks. So I took that card out of my computer, and I'm keeping it in case I ever feel like throwing it at a Pinnacle employee if I ever see one (that thing has some sharp edges... it's more useful as a weapon than a capture card).

Today I went to BCIT to register for this term's courses. When I got there, I saw a nice long lineup. I ended up waiting there for over 2 hours, but it wasn't too bad. I saw many people I know from first year there, like Leo, Sebastian, Matt, and of course Gavin, who seems to be growing a badass fro.

In other news, Ashlee is finally back from California. I missed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....
...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc.

Friday, January 03, 2003

HEY GUYS, i dont think im giving you enough notice, but there is a show at snackers in surrey tonight, and you all should go. Im sure it starts at like 7pm or so, and it cost like $5. The only band that i can remember who are playing is Billy the kid and the lost boys! Im sure more are playing. Hope to see you all there!