Thursday, March 27, 2003

Sick of those FUCKING ANNOYING popup ads on your computer? You know... the ones that come out of nowhere and look like windows messages? The ones that think you have a really small penis, and feel the need to pop up and tell you every 5 seconds to get it enlarged safely and naturally.

Sometimes I feel like tracking down those penis enlargement spammers, showing up at their front door with my pants down, and BEATING THEM TO DEATH WITH MY MASSIVE 72-FOOT LONG DICK!!!!! Yeah...

But yeah... since that's probably not going to happen, I figured out a way to stop those ads. It took a while of poking, prodding, and more poking, but I figured out how to kill them.

1) Be computer literate.

2) Go to control panel/administrative tools and double click on "services".

3) Find "Messenger" in the list, right-click it, and choose properties.

4) Change Startup type to disables, and stop the fucker.

5) No more penis-enlargement ads popping up in your face!

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

Well, The Patmeister is once again no longer single.
Whew, I didnt think I was gonna last that long single, that was a tough 24 hours. :)

Well, Im now dating an awesomecool gal. She's goth, she's kinky, she's all I could ask for! Hell! The gal is going out and buying handcuffs!!!

In other news, the holy warriors of Allah have officialy killed over 47 invading capitalist running dogs of the unclean one's infidel army. Allahu Ackbar! I wish the noble Iraqi defenders of Islam great luck against the uncleansed horde of capitalist pigdogs!

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

There once was a guy named Booger, who liked to stick small animals up his butt. One day he decided to stick a rat infected with rabies up his butt, so he threw the rat into his ass (he also had a fetish for shoving hockey sticks in there, thus making his asshole quite large). Then, the rat bit him on the inside of his ass and took a shit in there. Booger screamed in pain, and later on that day he pooped out rat poop, and his wife (she had a penis) made fun of him ("Haha you pooped rat poop! You rat! Haha!"). Then he went to the doctor and the doctor told him that he had gotten infected with rabies. He started foaming from the butt.

The moral of the story:
Don't stick rats up your butt.

Spookus had a 3-inch penis growing out of his forehead. It was quite irritating because whenever he saw a hot chick, his penis would become erect right in front of her, which would be quite embarassing. He went to the doctor to solve his 'little' problem. The doctor said, "I can't remove it. You'll have to do it yourself somehow."
Spookus felt hopeless. Then suddenly he had an idea. He took some scissors and sliced it off. Surprisingly, the penis became alive and grew legs and said, "You have finally freed me! I shall take over the world!". ANd then the penis took over the world, and from then on all hot chicks had penises.

The moral of the story:
If you don't want hot chicks to have penises, then don't grow one on your damn forehead.
Here's something fun to try out. Take a magnet, and put it to your TV. The screen will distort and change color and look trippy as if you had smoked a pound of pencil crayon shavings.

Take the magnet away and you will find that the picture on the screen stays all messed up like that. Now, everything you see on TV, it will look like you are looking through the eyes of a stoner. If you already are a hardcore stoner, everything on the screen will look "non-trippy" to you, which will bring back fond memories of the days back when you weren't stoned.

By the way, your TV is now permanently fucked up.

Sunday, March 23, 2003

FIELD TRIP #53 PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (MYA'S PARTY)

It was Mya's part last night, and it was awesome!!!!
I was so gone that I barely remember anything that happened last night. So I'll put what I can remember, in point form:

- People who were there: Mya, Me, Val, Brendan, Susan, Karyn, Mike, Kevin, Ivar, Jamie, Diana, Jessie, Calen, Mark, Christel, Scott, Aidan, Trouble, and probably other people I forgot about.

- Before Mya's, we went to the liquor store to get some stuff to drink. Val got her usual bottle of Silent Sam, while I got some Sheridans. It's SO good.

- We went to Mya's and partied.

- People started showing up.

- Val used a plastic thermos cup as a shot glass!

- We went on another beer run. Jessie dropped Val's digital camera, it stopped working today :(

- We met Mark along on the beer run, and I had to go to the liquor store a third time to get beer for him. By this time the employees there were wondering why I came in every 2 minutes to buy booze.

- We went back to Mya's house, and Mike Ivar and Kevin were wondering why the fuck I didn't get them any chips with the $5 they supposedly gave me.

- 2 seconds later, Mark walks in with the chips... they had given HIM the $5 and told HIM to go get some chips! Drunk fuckers!!

- Mya has the coolest desktop wallpaper ever!

- Mya told me that she linked her old address to!!! That thing gets 400 hits a day!! OH MY GOD <3

- I met Trouble (Erin) for the first time, it was awesome meeting an internet celebrity!!

- We got up onto the roof, thank's to Kevin's head. We looked down the skylights and saw people's bathrooms and some guy on a computer chatting on MSN. The view up there was really nice too but none of the city pics turned out.

- There was much weed, but no rolling papers to be found anywhere. So someone made a pipe out of a beer can and people smoked out of it.

- Lots of single people there paired up, it was really crazy.

- I was really drunk and Val took care of me :) :)

- Mike wore his awesome "FUCK" shirt! He ripped it off later though.

- I passed out for a few minutes?

- I can't really remember much of anything else. Anyone else remember stuff?

Friday, March 21, 2003

Hello My names mya i am the web mistress of but its down so i'll write here.

Erins in town and theres a party at my house tomarrow, this is a message for anyone who wants to show up at my door. The rules are

1) bring your own alcohol and give me some of it

2) puke there are 2 pukeing areas the bucket IN THE BATHROOM or the toilet IN THE BATHROOM, not in my living room (karyn) or on my kitchen floor (pat) or my balcony (mark).

3) no sex on the kitchen table (aidian and erin) we need that to put our booze on

4) dont fight over who gets to screw on my bed (erin, aidan, mark, j3ss3h) its big enough for all of you.

5) Give me all your money.

Yeah bye.

see you guys* there

* = Erin, Aidan, Mike, brendan, Kevin and val jessie sue and a hole lot of other people i dont wanna plug because i dont see the point because slurrey gets shit hits anyways ;D

Thursday, March 20, 2003

I am selling my Gameboy Advance with Mario Advance for $80. Unlinke other things I try to sell to people, this one:

- Hasn't been passed through a bowel movement.
- Hasn't been thrown across the room several times.
- Was never considered too much of a health hazard.
- Does not enlarge your penis (I swear.. the other thing wasn't mine!!).
- Does not have teeth marks on it from me being hungry.
- Brand new condition.

So what are you waiting for? If you're interested, I have something called an email address.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

MiKE peer pressured me to post a conversation I had with Jen earlier...don't blame me, blame him ;D


"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
i figured out that the currency of Finland is penni (when i read Jessie's Livejournal.)

Jen~ concrete angel says:

Jen~ concrete angel says:
do you have any peniis?

Jen~ concrete angel says:
oh wow i wanna go to finland for their penii. maybe i'll collect penii and bring some home to share. spread the wealth

Jen~ concrete angel says:
nothing says i love you like penii

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
I want to be a penii collector

Jen~ concrete angel says:

Jen~ concrete angel says:
we could have a peniis club

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
for other penni enthusiasts!

Jen~ concrete angel says:
all the collectors can get together and show off there penii

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
and the various ages of their penni!

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
"this is a penni from the 1950's"

Jen~ concrete angel says:

Jen~ concrete angel says:
my penii is shinier

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
my penni is larger

Jen~ concrete angel says:
**mine cost more

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
mine looks better on a stand

Jen~ concrete angel says:
mine looks better in my pocket

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
"I lost my penni but found it in a book"

Jen~ concrete angel says:
once in a while i whip out my penni in the sun to see it glisten in the sun light

Jen~ concrete angel says:
i found mine beside a broken toaster oven

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
I stepped on my penni :'(

Jen~ concrete angel says:
i accidentally left mine on the bus

Jen~ concrete angel says:
someone is gonna steal my penni

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
you should put your penni on a chain

Jen~ concrete angel says:
i should.

Jen~ concrete angel says:
i keep losing it

Jen~ concrete angel says:
its a detachable penii

Jen~ concrete angel says:
but thats cause i like to show them to other people with penni to compare

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
did you find it in the medicine cabinet?

Jen~ concrete angel says:
nope. it was beside the toaster oven. i took it home and washed it in the sink and it fell down the drain. see my peni are small. they were made in china. it might have been an un-authentic penni. a peni impostor or scandal if you will......

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:
cant trust those asian penni! they always end up being unsatisfactory in the end

Jen~ concrete angel says:

"Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?" says:

A couple of my instructors, when someone late arrives to their lecture, they don't let the person in. The idea behind this is that if you can't make it in time, then don't bother coming because being late disturbs the rest of the class.

Ok, what the fuck is more disturbing... a student quietly walking into the lecture hall and taking a seat, or a student trying to sneak in but the instructor stops talking and tells him to get out? What the fuck is the logic behind that?! The sad thing is... these people are supposed to be teaching us stuff.

Sometimes in class I fantasize about a poodle suddenly running into the room, and biting the instructor in the nuts. On days when I feel more creative, I also throw a few rats in to chew on his face.

Monday, March 17, 2003

For me, programming in Java is about as fun as sticking my dick into a fishtank full of pirhanas.

In other news, it appears that I am getting a new laptop battery for free. The original battery that came with my laptop now only lasts around 10 seconds, so the only thing it's good for is to hit people with. Anyways with a new laptop battery, I can actually take my laptop places, and actually use it on my lap, as opposed to having it sitting on my desk plugged in all the time.

Erin is visiting Vancouver soon, and I get to meet her! I talked to her a few times on MSN back in the day, before she became a total internet celebrity. Maybe I can get her autograph.

I thought I saw Avril Lavigne today on the skytrain. I knew it wasn't her though, because her gargantuan asscrack wasn't visible, letting out noxious fumes. If I ever see that asscrack in real life... I will try to throw a brick into it before I succumb to the toxic gases emanating from it. If she's not wearing makeup, the brick throwing success rate will be compromised due to me going blind.

I hope Saddam Hussein doesn't get his hands on her ass. He'd have enough chemical weapon to take over the entire planet.
Lazy bastards (referring to the below posts!)

Well, this spring break was a blast, as you can tell by me barely updating. Well, I figured I owed this site a good hour or two of updating, so I fixed up the local cams page and the videos page. I added new cams and videos, and fixed some broken links.

Now that I updated the cams page, maybe some of the people on it will update their damn cams!!!

I added my girl Val to the slurrey staff!!

Well fuck me in the ass with a goat being fucked in the ass by a cat. School starts again tomorrow, whick means I'll be back to hitting the books. They sure can take a beating.

Sunday, March 16, 2003

Monday, March 10, 2003


VIDEO: Hilarious video of what happens when people get drunk
VIDEO: Drunk Mike makes himself a seat in the woods
VIDEO: Drunk Mike tries to sit on the seat he made
VIDEO: More drunk hilarity
(right-click and shoose "save as")

THUSDAY: Val came over and we hung out at my place, watching Survivor, getting pizza, and watching random channels on TV and having a great time in general!

FRIDAY: I picked up Mark from his house, and we met up with Val and Jessie at Joyce, and headed downtown. We did a ton of shit that night:

- Visited Jen at her work
- Froze our asses off walking around downtown
- Went to McDick's so I could grab some dinner (blech, it tasted like recycled donkey ass, but I was so hungry that even that seemed appetizing to me)
- Went down to English bay again
- Took a bus back to Granville
- Picked Jen up from work
- Rode the Seabus for FUN again to North Van
- Hung out in North Van for a bit
- Took the skytrain back to joyce
- Looked for the chinese guy who works in subway, who we scarred for life. He wasn't there, we think we caused him to quit and go back to his homeland and find out what a rickshaw was.
- Went to Dominoe's pizza and saw that our drawing was still up there!

Twas a crazy fuckin' night, but nothing compared to...... SATURDAY!!!!

SATURDAY: Mya had wanted to go on a roadtrip to hope for the day on saturday, but Hope was all snowed out. She then wanted to go to Squamish, but we were all wondering how badly the plans were made and stuff. And since I was supposed to be driving, I didn't think our chances of survival were too great. So I left her a message on AIM saying that we should probably cancel tomorrow's trip and go next week.

I wake up early (8 am) next morning, and I see this:

MissMya2004: mike
MissMya2004: no
MissMya2004: wait
MissMya2004: seriously
MissMya2004: if you call this off
MissMya2004: i will never fucking speak to you again
MissMya2004: "poorly planed"
MissMya2004: whatever
MissMya2004: i dont care
MissMya2004: have it next weekend
MissMya2004: i wont be atending

Yep, looks like Mya definitely wanted to go! Looks like we were gonna go to Squamish whether we wanted to or not :P :P
So Val met me at Scott Rd Stn at around 9:45, and we went to my house to make a road-trip tape! We put a LOT of Sublime on it, cause Sublime rules, and it's the ultimate roadtrip/party/everything music! My mom also made us lunch, that was pretty groovy.

We didn't finish making the tape because we were late. We met up with Mya, Mike, Brendan, and Susan at Scott Rd Stn. And off we went on the Roadtrip!

So here's what happened:

STOPPED AT VV TO PICK UP SOMETHING WARM: Mike got a sweater cause he wasnn't dressed too warmly, and Brendan got a crazy movie of some sort. I saw a bunch of crap there, like a 70's subwoofer. I didn't know they had those back then :P

WE WENT TO GET TEH BEER: Mike went in there with like 50 bucks, and came back with a box of liquid gold.

WE WENT TO GET GAS: We filled up the tank, and the total came to around $60-$70 bucks. Holy shit. Mya and Mike also picked up some food and a map.

WE PARKED BEHIND THE GAS STATION: We pulled out the map to figure out what direction Squamish was in, and how to get there. Then a scary looking cat just sat there and stared at us. It looked creepy, kinda like my livejournal icon. I videotaped it looking freaky, getting bored, and then walking away.

WE TOOK OFF TOWARDS THE MOUNTAINS: We went over Alex Fraser bridge, went through Richmond, through downtown, over Lion's Gate bridge, and into North van. I missed a turn in North Van, and turning around to get back on that turn was utter hell. HOLY SHIT the roads in north van are fucked up. We got onto the highway and off we were in the direction of Squamish. Thanks to Val and her leet map reading skills, we didn't get too lost :)

WE GOT LOST IN SOME WEIRD TOWN: I took a wrong turn somewhere and got lost in this fucked up town, where the streets were really narry and seemed to be going straight up. That was messed up, but after a while we were on our way again.

WE SEE LOTS OF COOL THINGS ON THE WAY THERE: The mountains, trees, and nature and shit were all very pretty. Val took a lot of amazing pictures.

WE ARRIVE IN SQUAMISH: Gee whiz... we get there, and we're like..... what now? There is NOTHING in Squamish except like a KFC and a few other little stores. Shitty.

WE TURN AROUND AND GO BACK TO SHANNON FALLS: We went to Shannon falls and hung out there for a while, where we took a lot of pictures, filmed some video, tried to push a giant rock into the river (I swear, it must have been bolted to the other rocks), and watched ice break off the waterfall and make a loud noise and a mini-avalanche. Mya and Mike went up into the bushed and were doing... uhhh... something in there. Then we left Shannon falls and looked for a place to drink.

WE DROVE AROUND AND PULLED OFF THE ROAD: We pocketed the beer, then went into the bushed to find a place to drink. We did, and everyone started drinking. I couldn't have anything cause I was the designated one, so I just sat there and watched everyone get drunk. Being the only one sober has its advantages though, as you'll read later on.

WE FIND ANOTHER SPOT TO DRINK: While Bman and Mike went to go take a piss, they found another awesome drinking spot. To get there, we had to climb through bushes of spiky things and it was pretty shitty and fun at the same time. Nothing like getting wacked in the face with spiky plants. We drink at the base of giant power lines, where the view was AWESOME and it was windy too. SOOOO FUCKING COLD. Brendan had the bag of chips and was so drunk, that he asked "Anyone want some chips?" while the beer bottle in his hands was tilted so beer was pouring into the bag of chips. That was funny shit.

MIKE AND BRENDAN GO INTO THE FOREST: After a while they started yelling at us to go down there, and it was really cool. Drinking spot #3. So we hang out there for a while, and drink, and Bman sees this mushroom on the tree. What happened next... you just gotta watch the video. It is hilarious.

MIKE, BRENDAN, AND MYA TAKE OFF DEEPER INTO THE FOREST: It was starting to get a bit dark and a storm was coming, so we thought it would be a good idea to start heading back. So we waited for Mike, Mya, and Bman, but they were taking a while. So we go up there and they're all lying down on a huge rock drinking and whatnot. On the way back to the van, we discovered a path right NEXT to the thick prickly bushes we climbed through earlier. Man I felt dumb. Everyone else had an excuse not to notice it cause they were drunk, but I was sober so I sure felt like an idiot! Awesome thing is, since I was the only one who was sober, I was also the only one who didn't get any battle scars ;)

WE WENT BACK TO SQUAMISH AND ATE AT WHITE SPOT: The burger I had there was really haggard. It was full of butter, and it fels like it was digesting my stomach. The fries were REALLY good though. Or maybe that was just cause I was hungry :)

BACK TO VANCOUVER WE GO!!!: When we left Squamish it was pretty dark, and going down the mountain highway was pretty creepy. It was hard to see barely anything, and lots of dipshits were speeding down like idiots. I went the speed limit, cause my van is a piece of shit, and I also feel like getting killed.

WE ENDED UP IN BURNABY: Somehow, coming off the mountain, we ended up in Burnaby by BCIT. We got to some unidentified skytrain station, and dropped Mike and Mya off there. Then we drove around for a while, following the skytrain tracks because eventually... they HAD to lead into Surrey right? We did make it back to Surrey in one pice, and dropped Brendan and Susan off at Scott Rd Stn.

ME AND VAL GO BACK TO MY HOUSE: We went back to my house, and it was only around 8:30 pm. We had an awesome time :)
I guess I can be evil sometimes... in a good way :) ;)

And that was Saturday!! All of us definitely had an excellent time, and everything worked out prefectly!!
We GOTTA go on more roadtrips more often!! :D


Monday, March 03, 2003

I haven't updated this site for a while due to studying for exams.

... shutup. It's a good excuse!
Exams are over wednesday though... who knows what that may bring?
Probably more lack of updates.