So we spent the weekend in Whistler! Officially, this is the biggest field trip we've ever done, and I got around 600 pictures from the trip! That's like... 1/4 of the amount of pics I took while in Greece for 2 months. And as Chad says, "Whistler was incredible..... almost as incredible as I am."
And the amount of pictures we took on this field trip is massive..... almost as massive as my..
Anyways, it was me, Chad, Diego, Eric, and Robin heading up to Diego's place in Whistler to stay for the weekend. Before we left for the big mountain, we stopped at Safeway to get food for the trip. Cause you know... starving to death up there would kinda take some fun out of the trip.
Our grocery shopping experience proved to be rather interesting. Most of it was comparing prices, it was pretty funny!
Diego: "Why get this bag of chips for $2.99 when you can get this other one for $1.79?"
Me: (humps a chip bag in the corner)
We spent a lot of time getting food cause we didn't know what to get and ended up bactracking through the place 10321 times! The joys of shopping! After getting the important food supplies, we went to get the stuff that was even more important: the alcohol. I got myself a couple of bottles of some shit that tasted really good, and I had brought a lot of my booze from home so I didn't need to spend much money.
After that, we were good to go! Unfortunately, I had to sit bitch halfway up the mountain cause I called "no bitch" last... all cause I thought the shotgun I called when we saw the car counted for after we put the groceries in it and bought the booze. It wasn't too bad though, at least I could take good pictures on the way up.
At Squamish we stopped to eat dinner and we all went to different places to eat since no one could agree on where to eat. I didn't want to eat at White Spot cause last time we went there (Squamish field trip!) the food was like... an overpriced turd on a plate. No thanks.
After we ate, we went to the car and Chad and Diego had made t-shirts for all of us. You can see them in the pics, they're all great. Especially Chad's! "I support gay marriage only if both chicks are hot.".
Oh yeah, something in Squamish smelled really fucking bad, we didn't stick around to find out what it was.
We got up to Whistler and unloaded Eric's car into Diego's multi-million dollar condo. When I saw the view I nearly unloaded a multi-million litre load into my pants.
You can see all of Whistler from the living room window! And there was a telescope by the window too, which I think should be called the "porno-scope" because of the evil purposes we used it for (or at least tried!).
I called Val as soon as we got up there to tell her that I didn't get killed on the way up.
The first thing we did was play Trivial Pursuit. With a twist though, we turned it into a drinking game.
- If you rolled the dice and it was 3 or less, you take a drink.
- If the dice is 4 or above, you designate someone else to take a drink!
- If you get the question right, everyone takes a drink.
- If you get the question wrong, you take another drink.
- If you roll a dice with a number that can possibly move your piece onto the indian, you MUST move your piece onto it. Then the question is read in an indian-like voice.
- If you got 3 or 6 questions right, you could dare someone to do anything.
Most of us were getting the questions wrong (except Chad), so we were getting pretty hammered. In the middle of the game we changed the rules so that if you landed on the indian, you had to drink THE REST OF YOUR DRINK immediately. Fortunately no one landed on him after that, or we would most definitely had a lot of fucking puke to clean up!
During the game, Diego got a dare from Chad to prank call a random number. Diego picked up the phone, and starts talking into it in a deep voice: "This is Danny... I can't wait to have sex with you again... (etc etc)".
Then he quickly hangs up, cause some woman answered it and was like "WHAT?!". Hilarious. Then, Robin had to dance to spanish music with a pillow. And finally, Eric got the honor or throwing his arms up and yelling "OH YEAH!! PARTY!!!" everytime someone whistled.
After the game we were all drunk and wondering what to do, and we decided to head down to the Whistler village to "get some bitches, raaar" as Robin slurred. The walk down there took forever, not cause it was that long, but because we had to stop cause everyone had to keep taking pisses along the way!
Lots of chicks at the Whistler village, and you'd think that for such a cold night, they'd actually be WEARING something. Lots of them were pretty drunk too. We walked around the place for a bit and we saw a strip show for free, by standing outside the bar and looking in through the window. Yeah, sounds kinda loserish, but when we had so much to drink no one cared.
While down there, Diego introduced us to "SOOOO DANGEROUS". This was something on the bridge that resembled spiky balls, and the spikes on them were so sharp.... I swear you could bleed to death just by thinking about touching them. I think there's a picture of me trying to chew on one or something.
We went back up to the condo and had some alphagetti soup. It tasted really good cause I was drunk.
We went to bed at like 2 or something but didn't fall asleep until 3 or later. We were up talking about all sorts of crazy shit and telling ghost stories. It was fun!
Waking up the next morning was tough. Having Lucky Charms made it not so tough! First thing we did was sit around talking for a couple of hours and looking through Diego's porno-scope with little success. Then we went to the whistler village at 1 to get some lunch at The Old Spagetti Factory. We waited in the waiting area for a long ass time while all these girls were walking by. One of the girls left a comment card on the desk and Diego quickly snatched it so we could entertain ourselves reading it while we waited.
The card was hilarious, it was left by a group of band girls (probably no older than 12), totally dissing the waitress. The funniest part though, was how they left their REAL NAME and ACTUAL cell phone number on it! We had some prank calling to do later, so we kept the card.
The food there sucked, it was just disgusting. There's something about finding a tomato skin the size of your palm in your spagetti that isn't too appealing. We had a really good view of the swimming pool beside the restaurant.. with the girls in it. Diego, Chad, and Robin had a good view of it, so it made their dining experience a LOT better.
Funny too, cause the girls sitting in the table next to us were staring at the boys in the pool too. Looks like opening up a restaurant next to a populated swimming pool was a wise business decision. Even if the food tastes like dead dick.
We walked around the whistler village some more, walked through the PS2 truck without playing any of the games, saw the CFOX guy talking live on the radio, entered a lot of contests, took a ton of pictures, etc. The funniest part was the dog shows, and how we were walking around the village and somehow ended up in the dog parade, with people waving at us!!
Then we go back to the hideout, and make huge plans to prank call the cellphone of whoever left that comment thinger. So the plan was that Chad, using his official-sounding voice, call her up claiming that he was the owner of The Old Spagetti Factory, and that all customer comments were taken very seriously. In the end, he would tell her "Yes, we fired your waitress immediately". It was gonna be hilarious!!
We call the number, and whoever answered it said it was the wrong number. BUT, earlier Eric had called that number to check if it was actually real. He asked for the name of the person, and someone said she was in the shower. So we called bullshit on that.
Chad called her again, and without giving her a chance to talk, said that he was the owner of the restaurant. I'm pretty sure whoever was on the other end shat herself or something, she sounded pretty worried. But they claimed that they weren't in the restaurant at all that day, so the prank-calling was a bust.
Then for the hell of it we watched the movie "Swimfan". It was really entertaining, cause it was so fucking bad. We each got assigned to one of the characters in the movie and it was so funny when one of them did something really stupid.
Then we watched the Matrix Reloaded, and made fun of it.
We cooked dinner, well me and Robin were on the barbeque cooking burgers, while Eric and Diego cooked the meatballs. Chad sat there and watched us, and when the food was on the table, he was like "Alright guys, let's dig in!" like he made it all himself! The funniest thing was, as he said it, we were still running around trying to set everything up.
That barbeque though was pretty frightening. Massive fireballs would erupt from it, and when we put the burger patties on... it was as if they were soaked in gasoline or something. They burned like motherfuckers. Needless to say, they were cooked pretty fast!
We had such a good time watching movies that we decided to go and rent a couple more movies, really REALLY bad ones so we could laugh some more. We rented "Party Animal" and "Teknolust".
PARTY ANIMAL. Words cannot describe how hilarious this movie was. Especially after each of us was assigned a character before watching the movie. Eric picked Seth Green cause he thought he would be the least fruity in it. WRONG. Robin got stuck with being Macualey Culkin. Poor guy, we laughed so hard at what he did in the movie. I was Marilyn Manson of course, luckily I was barely in the movie.
TEKNOLUST. This was the stupidest fucking movie I ever seen. It's about 3 robot chicks who are powered by semen. Seriously. They have to go out and fuck guys so they can keep energized. Ok, this movie had the plot of a really bad porn flick... without the porn. Look at how dumb it is:
- The scientist chick has a screensaver on her microwave door.
- Apparently computer viruses can spread to humans.
- Having sex with a robot will make you impotent.
- The chick's microwave door turns into a computer screen.
- There is a "Spermometer"
- The robot chicks consume the semen by drinking it like tea.
- If you have sex with a robot, your hard drive will crash.
- Robots can get pregnant. And buy stuff off of "Ebuy".
I'll never get those 2 hours of my life back :(
But we still had a blast making fun of that retarded piece of fuck. We had to drink during the movie to make it watchable!
That night we didn't get to bed until the sun was coming up! That was cool.
I was then woken up 5 hours later by the sound of Chad vaccuuming. He LOVES that vaccuum! And it woke Eric up from having a dream about having sex with some hot chick. Hahahaha and in the dream he let Chad have a go at her first!
So we cleaned up, packed everything into Eric's car and took off for Vancouver. I willingly sat bitch this time until Squamish, so I could get shotgun on the way down and take some great pics.
This was by far the funnest field trip ever! And the most expensive one too, I still owe people lots of money. But holy fuck was it ever worth it!!!!!!!