Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Greatest Slurrey Field Trip Ever!!!

So it was finally gonna happen, the event that we were waiting 6 months for! The event I had to skip an important class and try and get through on the phone for 3 hours to make it happen!!

It was time to do some fuckin' camping!!

First off, a little bit of background info. I had reserved the group campsite at Hick's Lake back in January. I told everyone about it, and everyone was quite excited about going camping for 5 days! They all had 6 months of notice to tell their places of employment about their plans, and we had up to 45 people saying they were in!!

As the months went by and July 15th crept closer and closer, people started dropping out. Especially in the last week or so.........

So how many people ended up coming?


That's right. Only 9!! And only 4 of us who stayed the entire time! But did it make it any less of an epic party?! Fuck no ;)

So who ended up coming?! Well obviously me and Val, though she could only get 2 days off from work and couldn't stay the entire time! Eric and Marta could only stay for 2 days too, so they were able to give Val a ride home! Shannon managed to get the entire time off, even with 2 jobs (one of them fairly new). Mark and Pearce got the whole time off too, and Mel and Donny were gonna stay the whole time but it started pissing rain and the mosquitos were too much! So they only stayed for 3 days :P


- We wake up and we meet up at my house at 11 am. Since I'm driving Val, Mark, and Pearce up there, there's barely any room for all our camping shit! Luckily, Shannon had room in her truck, and when we changed that, we put the rest in Mel and Donny's van. It was hard to get it all in... but all those years of me playing Tetris (or fitting big things into tight spaces) finally paid off.

- We get on the freeway and head to Abbotsford to meet up with Eric and Marta. We were early so we stopped to eat at McDick's, aka McDonald's.

Do you ever wonder why people call it McDick's? I sure do. I mean, why would any guy want to say they ATE at a place nicknamed "McDick's"?

- Eric arrives and we go shopping! Most of the food me Val and Shannon bought consisted of munchies, cause yeah it was gonna be one of THOSE kinda camping trips! Also got a good amount of Ravioli too!

- So then we head off to Harrison in a 4-car convoy! We make a pit stop in Harrison to get some ice and use the last REAL washrooms we'd be able to use in 4 days, and then head for the group site!

- We get to the group site, YAY!!! And INSTANTLY we were EATEN ALIVE by mosquitos! Cocksucking mosquitos.... quite literally, cause one bit me on the fucking dick!! Fuckers... they can suck my nut. OH GUESS WHAT, THEY DID.

The mosquitos were quite relentless so the first thing we did when we got out was drench each other in enough repellent to poison a small town. And I found that it still wasn't enough!

- The next task was to set up the tents. Everyone else had nice, easy to set up tents! While me and Val were putting up her PALACE of a tent, I think half my brain cells commited suicide trying to figure out how the hell to put it up! Everytime we go camping, Val's tent and I have an epic battle, and it usually wins! Eventually, the tent was up... sorta.

- Shannon had brought up some citronella torches, but you had to pour the oil into them and we didn't have a funnel. I tried doing it first, but trying to get it all without spilling all over the place took FOREVER. Shannon filled the other one with the oil, and I was quite impressed! ... With how much of it spilled onto the floor :P

- We all went swimming in the lake, which actually wasn't THAT cold. We pushed a log into the water, and Eric Marta Shannon Mark and I rode it to the island closest to our beach! It was a neat island, the the rocks around it were disgustingly slimy! So much that you could barely stand up in the water! We never went to that island again :P

- That night we just chilled around the fire and drank a little, it was only the first night there anyways!


- Wake up monday and I start the fire, which was retarded cause we just went straight to the beach afterwards! Eric, Mark, and Pearce were working on a raft! A fucking raft!!! And you know what!? It turned out awesome!!!

- Me, Valyce, Eric, Marta, Mark, and Pearce rode the "HMS Slurrey" to the second island, which was quite a bit farther than the first one and harder to get to cause the freakin currents were pushing us towards the swamp! Shannon hadn't woken up yet (her sleeping patterns are worse than mine :P ) so we just left anyways! After what seemed like eons of paddling, we finally make it to the island and chill there for a bit!

- I'm half-asleep tanning on this flat rock (well, burning myself actually) and Val wakes me up and points out into the water. We see a distant figure swimming towards the island.... it was Shannon! She woke up and swam ALLLL the way to the second island, which is friggin' insane!! That's a fucking long ass swim!!

- After getting back to the beach some people go napping. Shannon wanted to go into town and I've always wanted to go 4x4ing, so me her and Pearce got into her truck and explored the local dirt roads!! Hell, half the dirt on the dirt roads ended up in her truck/on me! I got video too, but so much dust got into my video camera that it didn't record properly.

- We get back and I immediately get attacked by moquitos again, I woulda thought the 2 inch layer of dust on me would have provided SOME protection against them, but they just don't give up!! I swatted one a total of 17 times (yes I COUNTED) and it still kept going after me!

- It was dinner time, and the smokies came out! Now whenever Mark had a weiner on a stick, it always resulted in crazy antics like this. No one's orifice of any kind was safe with Mark and his smokie!

- El Valito and I cooked some hot dogs over the fire and ate them. They didn't sit too well, for me at least. About an hour later they definitely weren't behaving in there, and were gonna come out, one end or the other. I ran to the bathroom and found out which end it was.

- The rest of that night was..... psychedelic to say the least. I found that the top trippiest things were the gravel, the fire, any shadows, the tiki torches in the background, and Shannon's crazy hair. Eventually, Val remembered we had glowsticks, so we opened those up and had a rave of some sort! DJ Shannywack put on some good old-skool tunes, and then DJ Mark took over and put on his hardcore trance stuff. That night will always go down in history as one of the craziest nights ever.

- We took lots of video that night as well!! Not only did I have my video camera there, but Shannon had brought one too!! A week or two before camping we went to bestbuy and I helped her pick out a fuckin' awesome one. She wanted it specifically for camping!

- I thought I imagined mice running around on the ground eating stuff, and oh wait, they were REAL. Those little buggers were fearless. Or just retardedly hungry.

- Even when Val fell asleep on the chair, a spider was crawling on her face! And when I looked at the pics... I saw that the spider wasn't imagined either! For some reason, when the morning came (and the first bit of rain) we tried sleeping in my car!

- Mark tried using the bathroom, but when he lifted the seat, a million bugs flew up out of it! Of course half of them were imagined, but Mark took a can of Off! and a lighter, and made a flamethrower out of it. It wasn't a surprise that it worked better than the Off! stuff itself.


- It was Eric, Marta's and Val's last day here, so we were gonna make it count!! First, I had to hose all the dirt from 4x4ing out of my hair, then we went swimming for a bit. After everyone woke up we headed down to the rope swing. The skeeters were bad so we wore towels around our heads! We looked like a bunch of taliban walking down the road! We finally get to the rope swing and spend a good amount of time there, it was awesome in more ways than anyone thought a rope swing could be.

- Instead of doing the logical thing and walking back the way we came, we decided to just keep walking and go around the entire lake! Ah yes, that's the slurrey way! It was a long walk and I lost like 20 pounds (though I'm not sure if that was from the exercise or from the loss of blood from mosquitos biting me).

- When we got back it was time for Eric, Marta, and Val to leave, so I helped Val pack up all her stuff and they left at like 5 pm. It was too bad they had to leave early!

- It looked like it was gonna rain, so Shannon and I got some sticks and stuff and lit the fire inside the log eating area, and then we started drinking! I just kept doing Jager bombs, she stuck to her Kokanees. Mark and Pearce stuck to their weed, and Pearce in particular was quite stuck to his PSP! Mel and Donny did their own thing for the most part, though they did come and take a few hoots off the aquatic pipe of death :P

- I don't remember much about drunk-night, except for my vision being all blurry (and the camera somehow capturing it), me and Shannon laughing at Eric's porn magazines that he left behind, stupid-ass moths that kept flying into the citronella candles, Shannon eating a cold can of ravioli and dropping her poor CD onto a candle, "THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH", Mark falling asleep (or half asleep) and taking pictures of it, etc etc! It was a fun night.


- We wake up and it's absolutely PISSING rain outside!! It was really bad. At least the morning started off with a bang!

- Not only that, it almost started off with a real bang! When Shannon refilled her torches, there was a puddle of oil spilled again. So she's like "I'm gonna light it on fire to get rid of it!". And as I took a picture I noticed the open bottle of oil sitting right in the puddle! We almost got blown up :P

... except not really, cause even after we moved the bottle we couldn't get the damn puddle to light :P

- That whole day we basically layed around, went into town to get some stuff, etc. There's only much you can do when it's pissing so much rain outside!!

- Mel and Donny left that day. They packed everything up, were ready to go, and...... Donny couldn't find the keys to the van!!! They spent like 5 hours searching EVERYWHERE, even going through the sand on the beach! Eventually the keys were found.... in Donny's pants!

- Tonight was gonna be a good night for.... cookie! Yep, Amy's good stuff! Anyone who listens to the slurrey show knows how much Shannon and I like them! So we had some and put on Pink Floyd.... and it was pure friggin awesomeness. We drank energy drinks so we didn't fall asleep, but that might have been why we didn't feel that good later that night.

- Mark did 4 hits of Acid and was foooooked, and him and Pearce went off on all sorts of hilarious shit. I laughed so hard it probably registered on a richter scale somewhere. Mark also had more fun with his weiner, that thing sure went all over the place!! I thought I was gonna get my eye poked out.

- The rest of that night slowly descended into slight nausea, I guess cookies and energy drinks don't mix!


- We wake up at like 8 am from the sound of the heavy rain ass-pounding our tents. Woooo, packing up was so much fun *shakes fist and/or dick at the sky*

- We packed up and headed back to good ole Slurrey! At one point on the freeway, it was raining so hard I thought we were going to die!

- All that camping left us pretty burnt out, I think I remained in a vegetative state for like 48 hours after camping. I don't unpack my camping stuff till 3 days later! Hell it's been 5 days and I'm finally writing this post!

And that was pretty much it! Of course, a few more things that happened during the trip.... but what happens at Hick's Lake stays at Hick's Lake! Whoever missed out will probably never know the magnitude of fun times they missed out on!

Here's the top quotes that I can remember from the trip!

Pearce: "If anything, we'll probably be lying on the beach in the morning looking straight up into the sky and screaming like pterodactyls"
(Pearce describing being high on acid)

Val: "It felt like the blair witch project when I was going to the porta-potties over there.."
Me: "I left a blair witch project in the porta-potty."

Mark: "This chair... although it may not look it, from your point of view... ooh look it's a fucking chair... but to us, this colors thing is just a thrusty.... oh sexy blanket, show us your secret powers..."
(Mark high on acid)

Me: "Wow dude, for growing up like an ethiopian you sure turned out pretty normal.."
(While Shannon was eating a can of cold ravioli and telling me how she was used to it!)

Pearce: "Let's get it stoned"
(After eric finds a toad in the water and picks it up)

Shannon: "Omg you are so stuuuuupid!!!"
(Seeing a moth fly right into a candle)

Me: "This is like watching a car accident in slow motion"
(Eric swinging on the super high rope swing, not letting go, and bouncing off of trees and branches)

Shannon: "Mike... you just made my entire fuckin year"
(Me putting on Pink Floyd after we got super shtoooned)

I don't really remember any other quotes, possible due to being sober a whopping 0% while camping! Even though the weather sucked, everyone had a ton of fun!

The thing that sucks about people cancelling though... I was required to pay $280 to reserve the group site for at least 20 people! 9 people who came and paid me $15 each, I got $135.... so I was basically out $145. Whatever, it was fuckin' worth it!!!

Anyways, here's the pictures from the trip!


In addition to the 1000+ pics we took, watch for videos coming soon!!!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

In 10 hours we leave for the greatest field trip in the history of slurrey!

CAMPING 2007 will be epic and awesome and well.... take every positive word in the english language and multiply it by 3287239.... and it still wouldn't describe how great this will be!

We'll be back thursday afternoon!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Wanna see a short unfinished clip from the new SLURREY DVD?
There's still a lot of work to be done (music, voiceovers etc) but you'll have some sorta idea what the final style of the movie will be:

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hi! This is MiKE. You may remember me as the guy who used to update this site eons ago. Well, it seems I've been busy with some projects, in addition to getting ready for the huge slurrey camping trip in like..... 3 days.

One of those projects is our new DVD coming out. It contains HOURS of the most entertaining never-before-seen footage we've captured over the last few years. Not only that, but it will contain many of the slurrey videos on this site, except they'll all be in DVD-quality video!! If this news excites you, then commence your fapping now.

SLURREY: The Movie is due out by the end of summer 2007! This mockumentary-style DVD will explore some interesting slurrey activities, such as our idea of pyrotechnics, survival in the outdoors (aka slurrey camping), alcoholic beverages (and their results), the history behind, and a bunch of other stuff that will entertain the crap out of you (literally.... you'll probably have to sit on a toilet while watching this DVD.

Watch for a preview soon!!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Me, Val, Eric and Marta spent the canada day long weekend camping in Tofino!! It was quite fun there, and yet it was also rather COLD!! So cold in fact, that my genital still hasn't returned to its normal size.

So here is a detailed log of our trip!! It's quite long, but not as long as the log I dropped into the toilet when I got back home (I hadn't shat in 4 days!)

- On friday El Valito and I get up and get ready. Being the organized girl she is, she had all her camping stuff packed like... friggin 3 years before the camping trip. I, on the other hand, waited till the last possible minute to grab the shit I needed. It's how I roll.

- We met up with Eric and Marta at guildford, then took the highway to the ferry terminal. The traffic was unforgiving, who knew that THAT many people also wanted to get out of the lower mainland at the same time? You'd think there was like... a tsunami coming or something.... except for the fact that everyone was heading TOWARDS the ocean. It wouldn't surprise me, typical vancouver logic :P

- We get to the ferry and begin the eternal wait in the lineup. I coulda sworn I sprouted a couple new gray hairs during that time. Me and El Valito sat in the car with out nintendo DS's and sent
dirty pictures to each other to pass the time ;)

- We finally get on the ferry and begin our long-ass ferry ride to Nanaimo! It wasn't too boring, there were
lots of great things to take pictures of, and when those ran out, I found plenty of non-great things to take pictures of too!

- We
arrive in Nanaimo!!! This is the beginning of our great adventure!!! How great was it gonna be??! A good indication would be the fact that MY GODDAMN CAR STARTED HAVING ENGINE PROBLEMS AS SOON AS WE GOT OFF THE BOAT!!! Ah what lovely timing, it's like the laws of physics are constantly bent or broken in order to allow any vehicle I drive to break down in the most inconvenient of places. Granted I've had no major problems with this car at all since I've owned it (aside from the crackheads breaking windows and random tires hitting it) so I guess I had it coming.

- We pull over into a
canadian tire parking lot and decide to set up camp there for the night. There was a liquor store nearby as well, so we got some booze and drank and camped in a parking lot!! Goooooooooooood times!

- Morning rolls around and I go into Canadian tire to see if they can fix my car. It would end up costing me $330 bucks... how that made me feel is best described in this
picture of me paying the bill.

You know what's funny about canadian tire?? They charge you $80 to run a ODBII diagnostic tool and check your car for problems. The chick there tried to justify it by saying it's a $12,000 machine they hook up to it!

Ummmmm... so why can I get one for 120 bucks from

So while they couldn't rip me off due to my stupidity, not being able to get my hands on my own ODBII left me with no choice.

- I get my car fixed, and we begin the
long journey to Tofino! We had to go through all these mountains and shit, well more mountains than shit... and 3 hours later we made it to the campsite! And as soon as we arrived, the clouds parted way and the sun shone victoriously, as if to welcome us to this wonderful place!!! It was still cold as fuck though.

- We exploreded the beach, there was lots of neat stuff like....
sand!!! Yeah, an actual SANDY beach!!! And CLEAR water!!! You could see like 15 ft to the bottom of the ocean!!!! Unlike the lower mainland, where all the crap from the fraser river makes the water so murky you can barely sink in it. And with the lack of crap in the water comes.... sealife!! The non-radioactive kind!!! And tons of other sea-related stuff too!!

- That night we went to the beach and had a
beach fire!! The first beach fire we tried to make, the tide came in and nearly trapped us on a rock! So we went back to the sandy beach and had a regular fire! There were tons of other people having fires on the beach too, it was quite the festive atmosphere.

- The next day we went into town to get some groceries, and then went to long beach so Eric could do some
boarding. LONG BEACH WAS COLDER THAN THE INVERSE OF HELL. AND WINDIER THAN THE MOTHER OF ALL FARTS. The wind was so cold that it burned!! I thought my nuts would freeze, break off, and be blown away! But Eric, being the trooper he is, swam in the pacific ocean anyways! After long beach we went to Radar Hill and checked out the views, they were amazing and a half.

- Went back to the campground, and I built a
badass fire while Eric cooked some rad burgers. Eric cremated something that was once close to him (eww), his boxers. It was funny, when he threw them on the fire, it looked like the flames tried to avoid them :P

- We went back into Tofino and watched the
Canada Day fireworks from some random abandoned factory lot. It was raining pretty hard by that point, and I think we were the only ones sober, but that didn't matter cause the fireworks kicked my ass in like 3 directions. On the way back from town, it was quite the challenege not running over people randomly walking into traffic. Losers.

- We wake up the 3rd day and it was
non-stop pissing rain, this also happened to be the same day we were leaving so it wasn't too bad. We pack everything up while nearly catching hypothermia in the process, and head back to Nanaimo to catch the ferry.

Nothing else really happened on the way back!!! All in all it was a great camping trip, and also good practice for the BIG CRAZY ONE coming up in 10 days!!!! Stay tuned for more info on that one!