Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Yes, another birthday to celebrate!!! And boy we know how to celebrate the anniversary of someone dropping out of a vaginer!

Saturday afternoon was craptacular weather-wise.... much like every other goddamn saturday this month. Jessika needed to get some stuff for her beard exam, so me her and Shannon drove downtown to pick it up. Took some great pictures too, but since someone accidentally formatted my card at Matt's bday, they've gone up to that big memory card in the sky.

On the way back we grabbed Val, then grabbed Kevin, then grabbbed some beverages alcoholic in nature, and we were set!

We get to Matt's house and wait in his bedroom for him to arrive.... imagine like a 10ft by 10ft space with no windows or ventilation, and like... 15 people in it. What you just imagine wasn't even close to how goddamn hot it was in there but eventually Matt arrived, opened his door, and had the crap scared outta him when we all yelled SURPRISE!!!

On an empty stomach, I drank all my alcohol within 10 minutes. That resulted in the rest of the night being a big blur for me. The only way I can tell what happened is by looking at the pictures and piecing the night together:

- Apparently I was attacked by Val's long paper tongue.

- And it seems as if I counterattacked.

- Tracy and Cory's child was born ready to party!

- At some point it seems as if Matt had a birthday cake.

- Looks like I finally had something to eat?

- For some reason I'm on the phone.... it's not even my phone??

- We took an epic picture!

- It appears as though the cat got violated..

- Val had a nap?

- Remember kids, safety first!

- Where the hell?

- Huh?????

- Well the night sure took an interesting turn!

- A whole lotta :P was going on near the end!

- Looks like I bored Val to sleep again!

- At this point I started remembering shtuff!

- The end of the night, doesn't stop Kevin from drinkin though.

Looks like the night was pretty awesome, as usual. Everyone had a blast and got really shitfaced and probably won't remember the night till they look at these pics!

Unfortunately during the night someone had tried to delete a picture, but ended up accidentally deleting all of them instead. Then, kept taking more pictures, so the first 100 or so pics on my camera were unrecoverable. I managed to get back the rest though, thank god (if there is one).

Well enjoy the pics, I'm off to do something I haven't done in a while. By something I mean sleep, and by a while I mean 17 hours. Chacha!

Sunday, August 26, 2007


This event actually occurred last weekend, but have been to goddamned busy to write about it until now!! Hell, I'm still kinda too busy to write about it, so this is only going to be a pathetic, boring shell of what should be an epic post! Fortunately though, the sheer radness of the pictures more than make up for it.

The night began with me Jessika and Shannon getting dinner at Red Robin, cause drinking on an empty stomach sometimes yeilds unfavorable results. I bought Jessika dinner for her birthday, then we headed downtown, picking up Tina and El Valito on the way.

We arrive at The Cambie, and the lineup was pretty short. Probably because people gave up waiting for it to actually move anywhere! We found different ways to entertain ourselves during the lineup of eternity... not to mention some homeless dude said he'd climb a streetpole if someone gave him 2 bucks. He actually climbed up all the way, crazy bastard!

We all get inside and the drinking begins! Pretty much everyone was here, including Eric, Marta, Kevin, Kyle, Brittany, Dennis, Jessica, Tracy, Ashleigh, Christina, Dudley, Don, and Lee!

The Cambie was an alright place, it was hot and stuffy in there so we didn't stay long. Most of us migrated over to the Bourbon, a better club with marginally shittier music. It was still good!

Everyone got really REALLY REAAAALLLY drunk. Except me tho, I just got really drunk. Everyone danced and bought Jessika drinks and had an all-out awesome time!! We stayed at the place until closing time, and then drove home. Kevin, Kyle, Don, Lee etc were kinda stranded cause they missed the night bus, so they had to cab home (I didn't have room in my car).

I drove Val, Tina, Tracy, and Shannon home..... there's nothing like being sorta lost driving around downtown with 4 crazy drunk girls in your car, that was an adventure in itself. Tina was making prank calls and taking a million pictures, Shannon was asking Tina to roll down her window every 2 seconds and making her drunk GARGALARGINFARGIN noises, and as I dropped more and more people off she eventually took over the back seat and used it as a bed. It was like 5 am when I dropped her off..... the friggin sun was almost startin to come up!!

It was a great night and we all had like 3 tons of fun!! Tune in soon from the pics from Matt's surprise birthday party.... they're even crazier.

Monday, August 13, 2007


Friday we were gonna go to the Blarney Stone for Brittany's birthday. It was me, Val, Shannon, and Jessika. Getting to the place was an epic journey in itself.... Jessika said she knew where the Blarney Stone was, but judging by how we ended up passing by every place EXCEPT the Blarney Stone, I'd say that claim was a weeeee bit inaccurate :P

On the way to the Blarney Stone, we passed by... surprise surprise, Organix! We ran into Mark and Pearce there! Pearce's eager hugging attack resulted in his giant glass pipe in Shannon's face and his elbow in Val's face. Ah, drugs and their effects on motor skills!

Our destination was only a block away, but when Jessika saw the line she decided to go to Organix instead. So like, me Val and Shannon waited in the lineup for a horrifying 20 WHOLE MINUTES, which passed by pretty quickly with all the entertaining events occurring in the immediate area. Such as someone playing with himself in a doorway, and some dude getting arrested while onlookers made fun of the cops, "LOOK the cop's grabbing the guy's ass!! That's sexual harassment!!". It was worth a laugh and a half.

We get in the place and try and find Brittany and her 327328 friends she was bringing, never did find any of them. Probably cause they were never there to begin with!!! Yeah Brittany cancelled her party, ah well, we got drunked anyways.

The Blarney Stone was a lot of fun. Like, $68 worth of fun, cause that's how much I spent on drinks. Plus the half bottle of jager I chugged at Scott Rd Skytrain stn before we left, I'd say it was a pretty good night.

Getting back home proved to be interesting. We took the skytrain there, now we had to take it back. Unfortunately we had to leave early enough that I didn't have time to sober up, so when me and Shannon got back to my car at Scott Rd I handed her the keys. Yeah, I actually let someone else drive my car.... it kinda beats dying :P

The next day was Amanda's birthday!! It was supposed to be a crazy outdoor party, but the rain buttfucked that possibility. Still, it ended up being a decent gathering! Everyone had a good time and some graaaand stories were told.

I actually dozed off halfway through writing this post, due to the lack of sleep during the weekend. I think my brain is trying to give me hints like, "Hey, stop wasting your braincells writing this dumb post and go catch up on some sleep!"

Silly brain, when have I ever used any braincells while writing these posts? Yeesh.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Well, it's been a long weekend..... I have just NOW recovered enough to post about it.

First things first.....


I wonder who'll even bother to read the rest of this post.... I'm pretty sure at least half of slurrey's visitors only read books with pictures in them!

Sooooo the weekend began on a friday night, as most weekends usually do. I was feeling exhausted from the night before, so I thought it was going to be a pretty quiet night. Little did I know that I'd be going to a club, driving from Surrey to Delta to Richmond to Vancouver to Downtown Vancouver to Burnaby to New West to Port Coquitlam to Coquitlam to Port moody (Lower Mainland tour 2007 baby!!) and going to bed at like 4:30 am. EPIC.

Jessika wants to go to Organix from some UHN TISS UHN TISS.... it sounded like fun so me and Shannywack joined her. We drove there to avoid relying on the Skytrain, bah what a mistake. Finding both the club and parking while driving around the downtown east side was as fun as looking for a heroin needle in a haystack....

The club itself was pretty good. We just sat around and drank. I only had a vodka/red bull, while Shannon had friggin' 3 shots of Tequila and a beer. That resulted in pictures like this! Some epic lightsaber fight took place behind us, then I stared at the crazy visualizations on one of the millions of video screens they have there. Crazy, I bet that club could blackout a small town with its power usage. We hung out with Mark and Brian for a bit, Mark was totally foooo0o0oked on acid and that resulted in some good lulz.

We leave Organix, Jessika stays behind with Mark (hmmm!) and me Shannon and Jill go back to my car. Errrrr nope, we can't get into the parkade because the gates are locked. By the time we walk around the building, someone lets us in, find my car, and get out of there, Jill's missed her last skytrain. So she got to came along for the roadtrip we took all over the lower mainland.... it was fun times!! After leaving Shannon in Port Moody I dropped Jill off in Fleetwood and got home when it was almost starting to get bright out again!

Saturday morning comes, and that didn't mean my driving was over! I drove back to pick Shannon up cause she was sorta stranded there, came back, went to FutureShop for a bit and lusted after some LCD monitors, met up with Val, went to Ashleigh's for a bit, then hung out at my house. We were gonna go to the fireworks that night, but ended up at Ashleigh's house again for a wee bit of partying. Well, I was too tired to drink so I just played Sonic CD till I almost beat it. That game is a total trip!! Ashleigh's cat is also batshit crazy, it CHASED Val around everywhere!

I drove Val home and on the way back my tire farted all its air out, leaving my car damn near undriveable. Luckily this event occurred as I was entering my driveway, the most convenient place EVER.

On sunday (a day that lived up to its name, weather-wise) me Val Eric Dudley Amanda Colin Matt Ashleigh and Joe went to Cultus Lake. Eric Colin and I head to the cliffs for some Jolly good cliff jumping. I got some pretty epic pictures of their jumps, and even video of Eric jumping off the 50 ft cliff...

Me: "Any last words?"
Eric: "Shut up Mike!"
Eric: "Seriously those will be the last words on my tombstone, shut up Mike!"

He jumps and surprisingly lives to tell the tale (not like the video wouldn't though!). And we head back and hang out at the beach for a while. It was a good day!

Later that night me Val and Shannon watched 300 on high definition. It was amazing as usual, I've probably watched that movie 300 goddamn times... I can't get enough of it. And on hi-def too...... if it was possible to collect the drool of everyone watching that movie on blu-ray or HD-DVD..... there'd be enough to re-vegetate the sahara desert.

Monday comes around, and I go buy that LCD monitor that caught my eye on saturday. It's a 22 inch LG Flatiron widescreen, with 3000:1 contrast ratio and a 2 ms response time... plus HDMI and component inputs..... for only $379!! If whatever I just said made no sense to you at all, congratulations you are not a nerd. Nyuk Nyuk whatever, I'm the one basking in 22 inches of 'nerdiness' even as I type this right now.

Ew fuck that didn't right at all.

So that's my weekend! I may have spent most of it half-asleep and in the most primitive of mental states, but I sure had some fun!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Since I haven't posted in a while, allow me to share the details of the last 2 weeks with you. Not like you care or anything... ah who am I kidding, look how popular Paris Hilton's life is in news articles. Her left tit gets more coverage than the war in Iraq.


It only took me a few days to recover from the slurrey camping trip. During the weekend we went to Ceilis for some good drinkin', and also because it was the birthday party of some girl I've had on msn for like 7 years, but never ended up meeting.

It was like the camping 2007 afterparty or something. We all got really drunk and had a blast, I think I drank another 452 different types of alcohol that night!

Then last week I started work for my new company. I like it already... no bullshit politics and shit-talking, no being shipped off to Suckchelt, and an actual decent wage too!

Why I didn't do this sooner, I don't know.

Well, I have to use the toilet facilities, so this post will have to be pinched short. Till next time, turd-burglars!

Oops almost forgot:

PICS FROM CEILIS!!! (camping afterparty?!)
Yeah I'm still alive, surprisingly enough. I wouldn't be surprised if that changed soon though, with all the retards on the road.

Here in BC, getting a driver's licence is quite the hassle... new drivers have to go through over 2 years of "graduated licencing" bullshit! However, I question its effectiveness, cause most other drivers I encounter on the road drive like they haven't graduated elementary school yet.

Yesterday a bus driver near surrey central is a foot away from smoking the back of my car with his reckless driving. Goddamnit we already have to yield to these big stupid vehicles... but when there's someone who thinks he's above all traffic laws piloting one of those things.... it's just frightening.

Today took the cake though. Some jackass in a VAN KAM semi decided to cut across 2 lanes and into mine, nearly smashing into me. Luckily I slammed on my brakes as hard as I could, and even more luckily there was no one behind me to shove themselves up my car's ass.

As I was witnessing the 100% pure unfiltered stupidity occuring before me, I pushed the horn so hard I coulda sworn the steering column would get pushed through the dash. God I wish I could replace my horn with say, a rocket launcher or something.

I see him and he's fucking laughing, like he proud of it or something! I think what I did next is going be a new slurrey feature. Portraits of shitty drivers! Order yours today!

"Huhuuhuh me drive good!"

Today's near-death experience is brought to you by nutcase truck drivers.